Quack Rites

Demoralisation of the Moral Values

2009-07-13T00:14:00.000-07:00

(02 July, 2006)
Two cases that I saw in the recent past have really shaken all my beliefs in the Indian educational institutions. I am sure that I would not want my children to ever be a part of such institutions, so as to be imparted by such low principles and moral values.

Are educational institutes only meant to give textbook knowledge, and ensure good marks for its students? Is that all teachers are supposed to teach their students, the textbooks? Moral values, principles, the real teachings of life seem to have disappeared a long time back. A few teachers who want to make that effort are seen as stupid, wasting time, where not required. Why put in that extra bit, when all that is required is to get the students to score well in their subject. A teacher and an educational institution have far greater responsibility than most of them can comprehend today. Like most of India, people who do not understand even a fraction of their responsibility manage education. Its not a responsibility, it’s a business that is all it is, and it is foolish to expect anything more from a business house than to provide just the requirements.

There is no time for personality building or teaching of principles, they are of least importance. The only thing important is that the institution should get laurels from everywhere possible, building it a big brand name and getting it more and more business and preferably higher price. It does not matter whether the laurels are brought in by a select few, while the others get no attention or coaching. As an example , it will not be deemed important for all students to develop their skills in public speaking, the few who have the inherent knack , can step ahead each time and win all the awards. So though coming from the same school, one will be a great orator, while another student will not be confident enough to so much as sit through an interview. Is that what a school is expected to teach, or for that matter not teach. Is this what an educational institution is? It teaches prejudice at the grass root level. The attention is given to the brighter student rather than the weaker, who needs a lot more of attention to develop his/her skills. Then where can we expect equality to ever come in, when we are taught that inequality reigns from the time we enter a school.

My father had studied in a missionary boarding school, and he used to tell me stories of the kind of punishment they used to get in school. I remember an incidence very well, something I had always found very amusing as a child, was that he was made to write a thousand times, “I will not speak in Bengali in school.” when he was once caught speaking the language in communication with his brother. But today I realize the importance of such lessons in shaping a child’s character. He learnt that it was important to respect the presence of all the others who did not speak that language and also made to understand how important it is to respect others who are present. That is what a school has to do build character. Till date I have never seen him speak in a regional language in public, and really realize the dignity of that character. Unfortunately I feel there are very few who do that any more. Books and studies are something that is an individual’s prerogative, but a school that cannot build the character of its students, has very little to say for itself.

Let me start with the first institution, that being one of the premier (I definitely don’t agree with that adjective) schools in India, Delhi Public School RK Puram. Having been a student there myself (and I am not at all proud of the fact), I know the true picture better than an outsider I believe. Every year, once the class tenth results are put, few of the best students from not only Delhi but all over the country rush for admissions to this school. An uninformed choice is all that I can say it is. This school is nothing more than a business house, absolutely nothing more than that. There is politics, from teachers, to students, there is money grabbing, there is absolutely no effort at character building, unless and until that one rare teacher takes a personal initiative, and that happens at the most in the junior school, and I am talking of a time around 15 years back. Don’t know if any such teachers continue to be there. Trust me curriculum does not build character or personality. And you can hardly blame a teacher who is teaching more than 200 students. I just wish that the teachers realized that they are building a new life, and what a huge responsibility it is, not just teaching them the textbooks, but actually teaching them a lot more. As a few examples young teenage girls wear skirts shorter than those Sharapova wears to the tennis courts. Boys wear denim trousers instead of the school uniform. Its almost impossible to see anyone wearing school shoes, its either branded sports shoes for boys or fancy shoes for girls. And if the school turns a blind eye on all of this there is little one can say for such a school. The results may then surprise you, the fact is there is a huge quantity of students, and the few studious ones who shine bright and give the school its names.

I was surprised when the school simply suspended the students involved in the recent MMS scandal. God what a failure of the school. And what does the school say, they are not to blame. It happened outside the school premises, that the involved students have a bad upbringing, and more so that it is a common occurrence in all other schools. What a shame, what a sham!! Not once did the school feel it should take the students in for counseling and protect them, there was no sense of belonging at all. It was saving the reputation and name more than anything. SAD. That’s all I felt at such a reaction. Character is something, which built, lasts forever; unfortunately, this school could build none, mostly because it has none itself. Were those little kids not your students, would they not have been your great assets had they achieved great results? One mistake and you just wash your hands off them, no love, no affection for them. Yes it’s a difficult age, they are teenagers, young adults, who know just little and wish to experiment, does it not fall in your circle of responsibilities to guide them, help them? No Cell phones on the school premises, isn’t that what was the result of the whole fiasco. Great, let the problem persist, while we eliminate chances of getting ourselves in trouble. What’s even sadder than you disowning the two students and helping them in their time of need was the lesson you taught all the students who continue to be in the school, “One has no responsibility, only to save one’s skin”. What kind of citizens do we expect will be made out of such students, ones who shirk away from all responsibilities and only claim glory. What a sad future for India this school is building.

The next step is a college, a place where the students are to be prepared to face the real world, and a place where they should be imparted with qualities that help to make the place outside the four walls of the college a better place for one and all, and teaches them how to handle themselves in the world outside with dignity and principle I think. A huge task at the hands of the professors, lecturers and deans, the way I see it. Indeed a job only for someone who completely and fully understands the responsibility involved. But sadly that is hardly the case anymore. College is a place for show off and fun more than anything else.

A more recent case is that which has occurred in Wilson College in Bombay. A very old and established institution as it is said to be, it has an ‘honorable’ professor who pulls in a minor, 17 year old girl into his cabin and professes his love for her by holding her hand and then goes on to talk about sex. Disgusting. What a man, and more surprisingly what a college to support such a teacher in his terrible deeds, misguiding its students and giving them hidden threats to support the professor, or else suffer consequences. What is the difference between such a professor and Sunil More a comparatively illiterate police constable? What a lesson to teach the students, its ok to do anything you want to, as long as you are in the position of power and can get away with it. Is that how we want our future citizens to be, is that how we wish India to become? I am ashamed that such an institution continues to be a part of the list of prestigious educational institutions of this country and more importantly the fact that I know this is not the only one. Why can the institute not stand up and throw out a person like that from their staff, and show much greater strength and character than what it is showing by resorting to the cheap and false tricks it currently is. That will give it a much greater reputation.

Teachers, you build the future of this country, you have a very huge responsibility in your hands, you are truly shaping the future of this country and what you see today is a reflection of what you have built, please stand up and own up your responsibility, do the right thing, save the country.

Teach your students to do the right thing and fight for it if needed, help them when they are the most vulnerable, and helpless, guide them so that they don’t repeat these mistakes again. You have the power to bring about a revolution, please, please don’t give up your responsibility, it not just this batch and the one after that, but the future of the whole country that you hold in your hands.

Where Are The Indians?

2009-07-05T23:14:00.000-07:00

(January 25, 2008)
Of late I have been wondering if there are any Indians left in this world, I have not seen or met any in ages...... before you get confused, let me elaborate............

There are tons of Malyaliis, Gujaratis, Maharashtrians, Telegu,Bengalis, Tamils, Punjabis and all else, but what about Indians....... I think the last one I saw( or heard) was Vidya Sharma, captain in Kabir Khan's Hockey team in Chak De, the movie, so pretty fictitious. Earlier it was just the use of languages specific to states in a group consisting of people from other places and not even realising that anything is amiss, that used to bother me, but that seems insignificant considering the latest spate of events that I have seen. Newspapers, magazines, TV everywhere there is no India anymore its all about the sub-divisions.

I so wish the Media would learn its responsibilities well. If there is a contest on TV, the participants will request for votes from people of their state.... I wonder if these competitions are all inter state, that's what they should be made I think. I remember well when an established newspaper like Times Of India, in its Nasik edition screamed out aloud about how it was a Marathi Manoos who had won the Indian Idol contest, when Abhijit Sawant won the first edition. God, and I thought it was a good singer who had done it. Ditto when Sachin and Supriya won the first series of Nach Baliye!

Well, I guess as they say, it is each person's individual thinking and preference, well that's great, but what I wish to know is where are the Indians, where are the people who call themselves Indians, and just that. When political parties like the S* thrive, can we say much. When a person( one of the Thackrey clan) openly announces he would not let any non- Maharashtrian step into Bombay, its treated as just a news, isn't it the fundamental right of every 'Indian' to be able to reside anywhere in India? How dare this ^%#%^ challenge the constitution and the fundamental right of every Indian? And no one questions him? I have a lot to say on this clan as well as the political party they 'own'.... but i don't want to waste precious time writing about filth.

I am just eagerly waiting for someone who would stand up as an Indian...someone who would be just an Indian and proudly so, speak the national language and respect it, who would understand the values of India and imbibe it into them self as well as the society.....This is a call to anyone who is an Indian.

I Bow to You Maulana Madani

2009-06-27T13:51:00.000-07:00

I cannot stop myself from sharing this with everyone. Arrived as a forward in my inbox. I had tears in my eyes watching this video, well I have tears whenever my nationalistic feelings are stirred, so this was no different. The video says it all.

All I can say is I am strongly a part of the 70% he mentions.

Bade Log Aur Darshan Chhote

2009-04-18T14:55:00.000-07:00

I am aghast after reading about an incident on Gauri's blog, regarding her refrigerator. Shocking does not quite cut it for me. Buying a reputed big brand definitely does not mean good service, especially once they have sold you their goods. Gauri's fridge which was within it's warranty period, is lying with the company for over six months now, with no response from them. She has tried pretty much everything. Do read her post for the details.

Inspiringly Innovative

2009-04-05T08:19:00.000-07:00

This arrived in my inbox, and it left me with a proud smile on my face. The photographs look genuine enough, so I am daring to share it on the blog. It is an auto rickshaw driver from Bandra, Bombay, who has exhibited his sensitivity and innovation through some wonderful modifications in his vehicle. I am proudly amused.

There is a 25% discount for handicap!!

There is a TV on the top with a cable connection (The passenger was watching colors channel) and below that is the tissue box. On the left is a collection of holy idols and don't miss 'Only gandhigiri' written there , below that is the calender and a notepad and pen along with a blue fan (which is blowing towards the passenger). Photos of Indian martyrs are put up on the windscreen.

The auto rickshaw has also got a first aid box on the left and a newspaper box on right (which had all hindi-english-marathi-gujrati papers and economic times).

We Did It!!

2009-04-01T13:26:00.000-07:00

Chief Justice K.G. Balakrishnan, might have never read our blogs, but he heard us all the same, when he ruled against allowing Sanjay Dutt to contest the elections. I am definitely cheering this decision, and hoping that this is the start to even greater changes in our political system. You can read the details in the TOI article, and I am sure it is all over the news. I feel like a winner today!

Why I Don't Love My SC/ST 'Brothers and Sisters'

2009-03-08T22:39:00.000-07:00

Because I have suffered long and enough because of them and had it not been for them and their reservations every damn place I go, I would have had a better life today. It works in a very simple way here you see, I do not care what their ancestors did for a living, because it is of no consequence either to me or to them,( I hope,) but I do care where in a so called equal opportunities society, they benefit from reservations every damn place, where it counts. I think the situation is quite reversed now, and it is the general category deserve the reservations, for their disadvantaged status.

I understand economic backwardness as a scale for reservations, but caste, where casteism has been banished? What sense does that make. There are reservations in places like the IITs, AIIMS and IIMs for heaven's sake, and dare anyone tell me that reservations in these top notch places of higher studies in India is a need to help them develop. It is just nonsensical to put in people without the required merit in these institutes, for that only works in bringing down the merit of the hallowed institutes. And what hurts is when a worthy student cannot make it in, just because of the damn reservations. India can never become a free and equal society till such reservations stand.

I cannot like a person who takes away my opportunities can I? It fills me with a deep rooted dislike for life. And then to have to pretend to so much as like them is nothing but a pretense. So every opportunity I get, I will crib about them to fellow sufferers like me. If I see them down, I will never help them up, since I did not receive my dues because of them. I think of them as the advantaged, and me as the disadvantaged, and forever have a grudge against them in me. When I was in college, my library had an entire floor dedicated only to the SC/ST students. So while we GC( general category) students struggled to get the books we needed from the library, not wanting to spend huge amounts of money to buy them, many copies of the same would by just lying around in the floor above. Once in a while the kind librarian would pass us a copy from that floor, with strict instructions to not let anyone know. Why should I not have a grudge against the SC/ST students for life then? There were classmates in second year of Computer Engineering, who did not know what the 'Enter' key on the computer keyboard was, and yet they sat there pompously in the computer lab, which could well have been the opportunity for a really deserving student. Did I mention, a few of them went onto become salesgirls in stores, after the degree? This is where it all goes in the wrong hands. Imagine a really deserving sensible student studying instead of them, who was taken in based on merit and aptitude, not caste, the education would then really be worth something.

I am not generalising here, because these are personal, very personal grudges I hold against the reserved caste beneficiaries in India. I did not even think about a government job because there are way too many reservations, and a majority of the entire work force is there, not because of merit but because of the family they have been born into, and I did not want to be once again surrounded by such incompetent people. I personally know a man who went into IIM, Bangalore on a caste ticket, and took a full four and half years to make it through, what a waste of a seat in such a great institute. What a sham in the name of equality is the Indian society!

Though I support the reservations for economically backward people in schools, but never in higher education or work. Because reservations there are unfair, unjust and a damper in the country's progress in every way. And that also applies to colleges, which do it based on community or religion. Some that I am aware of are the Jamunalal Bajaj Institute of Management has reservations for Gujuratis, the very hallowed St.Stephen's College in Delhi and the St.Xavier's College in Bombay, along with most missionary schools in India have reservations for students with Baptism certificates. How can the students who study here, then be hurt, if they are marginalised by society in general, they definitely did not mind lapping up the benefits of their caste/community/religion when it meted out good things to them, but they do mind that being pointed out to them in regular life. Reservations are a double edged sword, and for every benefit one laps up, they also gather that many more brickbats. A neighbour in Delhi was admitted in St.Stephen's with a bare 65% in her class twelve marksheet, while the GC students don't bother applying if they have anything less than a good round 90% to show. You cannot expect me to like her after that do you? Its a tough world out there, and every opportunity to arm myself to fight it counts,and when I see my opportunities being unfairly taken away from me, I am definitely going to begrudge the person who does it.

So if you are one of those beneficiaries, know for sure that I do not look at with the same sight that I have for others, because I begrudge you, and look down upon you because I know that you are not a worthy receiver of what you have, and I also know that a really worthy person missed out on those opportunities because of you. Don't come crawling to me then wanting to be treated equally, if you really wanted it, you would have had it that way everywhere. You enjoy the discrimination when it is against the others and benefits you, so learn to deal with it, when you are castigated too, and stop the damn pretense of being a victim.

Edited to Add - I am adding this to further clarify what I have written.
This is a comment I received on this post (#9)"A person born into a Dalit family and tagged a SC till death can only understand what casteism is all about.
Look at the big picture . The Brahmins by birth because of casteism are reserved for the posts of Pujaries in small, medium , large and very large temples , Trusts , Mathas and Sanskrit Toles ( akin to MADARASAS ). There are not less than crores such Ponga pandits employed with ROTI , KAPDA , MAKAN , DUKAN ETC ETC free as perks . Do you ever protested against such reservations . You may always counter it by quoting some text from Manusamhita. All right ? No every thing is not all right. It is you who have resisted all efforts of the society for the all inclusive growth now you have started talking about merits /talents etc etc.
Reservation for the SWEEPERS in govt departments /municipalities ? I challeged all your clan to take those job for your kith and kin . SC will be happy to forego their claim alltogether. I know you all are feeling uncomfortable . So before you speak out and get supported by your likes get to the bottom of the problem and then open your mouth.
I know talking straight infuriates you the privileged High castes ."

And here is my reply - "Personal attacks are not welcome. You are just displaying your class(rather lack of it) through that. Anyway, to answer you, two wrongs do not make a right. If some people have been mistreated for belonging to a certain caste, being unjust to the rest does not make up for it. I don't wish to quote any text from anywhere, because I live by my own rules, and can think with my own mind. I am all for reservations for basic education, to provide basic skills to everyone, but when it comes to high skilled performance should be the only criteria, and I think intelligence and aptitude do not vary based on caste, in which case reservations are not needed. Oh! and what about the ones, who are neither high caste, nor low caste, nor any other minority who benefit from reservations? Should they suffer and struggle forever?

Would you hand over your father for a high risk surgery to a doctor who got into a medical college due to reservation, and took a whole ten years to complete the five year degree? Would you? Would you trust him with your life? If not, then you understand what I am talking about, if yes, then I hope you survive the surgery. Some things cannot be based on anything but skill, and skill is not based on caste, creed, religion, sex, region or nationality, it is just a very individual quality, independent of petty factors of categorising. "

I am just so tiered of people acting all hurt and victimised, on even one harsh word regarding their community, when they greedily lap up every benefit they can based on the same community badge, and conveniently forget to so much as mention it. People, learn to first own up to all the favours you have received every instance you could, and only then talk about being discriminated against.

Of Insensitive Bosses and the Indian work Sensibilities

2009-03-03T11:47:00.000-08:00

I am angry, really angry today and the DH had to bear the brunt of it, for no good reason. The reason, a new head of operations for the Middle East in his organisation, unfortunately an Indian. Just a month into his job and he is already making my life miserable. There is a good reason why I am wary of any Indian in a senior management position. They take employees for granted, and have absolutely zero sensitivity and consideration for them and their lives. Office politics is a part of every office I believe, some more and some less, but the basic attitude of an Indian worker really scares me.

The two day weekend, which has been the way the past 10 years in the organisation is likely to soon be slashed to a single day weekend, nine hour work days have been extended to ten and a lot of benefits have been cancelled. Why do they work this way, why do they want to suck the life out of their employees, leaving them nothing but stress and misery. I have had the same experience, when I was working an Indian team replaced the existing top management which consisted of Europeans. Bonuses were slashed, the offshore allowances were halved, stationary was rationed and even tea and coffee in the office got rationed. The motto being, if I can get the same work at half the cost, why not? They believe in pushing the employee to their limits, to get the most for the least. I wonder if management education introduces them to the concept of satisfied employees being a lot more productive and loyal!

The average Indian worker on the other hand thinks its sacrilege to even think of a personal life at work! Come on people you work to earn and earn to live! No play and all work makes Jack a dull boy. I remember the initiation program we had in my company, it was a three month intensive thing , with 80% academic training and 20% behavioral. So in one of the behavioral sessions on team work, we were given a situation where, one of us was to be the team leader, facing a tough spot. They had a deadline to meet the next morning, and one of his female team memember was going through a divorce. The entire team is up, working late in the night, and the woman is not being productive enough, and she takes a break to ... well, sob. The assignment for my friend was to sort the situation. This is what he said , "Come on! Forget all this, we are low on time, come back to your desk and complete your work now. We don't have time for this." You could say fresh out of college, he was naive, and dedicated to work. But unfortunately this is an attitude I saw with most people in office throughout my work life. Stay extra hours, come to office on weekends if you want brownie points. Just doing your work efficiently in the allocated time was never enough! So it is the basic attitude, that an Indian worker can really be juiced, because he/she does not have a personal life, and does not need one either!

I don't blame the average Indian worker fully though, in a dog eat dog world, where at any given point in time, a thousand people are ready take my job for half the pay, I have to stick on, especially where I have no government support system or anything at all to fall back upon. Struggling and being used has become such a part of an average Indian's life, that one even forgets to feel it on most occasions. Sad, very sad but true.

As for the head in the DH's office, I hope he stops sucking up to his bosses, and gets into his senses SOON!

Taking It Ahead

2009-02-24T11:09:00.001-08:00

The No Criminals In Politics campaign that is. I found this on Indyeah's blog and it was such a happy surprise for me. This is a website created by people who really want change, who want a clean scenario in Indian politics. Visit the No Criminals website and support it. They provide you with all the data on the criminals in Indian politics, name, age party, and criminal records too. It is an appeal to prevent such people from getting party tickets for the upcoming general elections. Please do head over to the site, and support it. This is their logo, and I extend my complete support to this campaign.

Blogger Issues - And today Blogger is behaving badly. The word verification on comments is not working, so all of you have it enabled, please disable it if you wish to receive your comments. Surbhi, I have saved my comment for you on a notepad, waiting for blogger to recover. Followers have mysteriously vanished from lists, again a blogger issue for the day, hope they sort it out soon. It is really irritating to deal with this, so here is wishing blogger a speedy recovery.

A Mockery of Marriage

2009-02-23T01:44:00.000-08:00

I came online to type a post that has been in the offing a while, but then I read this story on the TOI website, and my mind just would not get off it. And I had to put down my thoughts.

This article and its two follow-ons are first hand accounts of three people, a man and his two wives, who all live together. The man and his first wife had an arranged marriage, where they had never even laid their eyes on each other before their wedding. The first wife is a typical Indian soap wife, dutiful, submissive and meek. But the man wanted more, and found himself a match in another woman, who later with the approval of his first wife, went onto become his second wife. And according to him, they have been living happily ever since, errr....... together. Wow! This even beats those terribly disgusting and twisted David Dhawan movies about a man and his two wives whom he dearly loves.

I don't quite understand an adult bowing to familial pressures into marry someone against his own wishes, and then quite happily flouting those very pressures to marry a second time. This is strange, really. Though they claim to be alright, I doubt if either of the women ever gets a decent night of sleep. I know I could never deal with my husband and another woman having so much as a casual non-physical affair, a marriage is quite out of the question of course. I believe a man and woman together form a complete whole, so what happens when there are three of them? Isn't it like a one and half.

This just seems so twisted to me, how can there be three people in a relationship? What about the poor kids, how do they grow up and what do they learn. This man claims to love both the women, but if he loved his first wife, would such a situation have risen at all, I wonder. Of course he is not the only one, the Hindi film industry has a few of this kind, The Dharmendra-first wife- Hema Malini trio, Boney Kapoor - first wife- Sridevi trio and some more. They just go on to show their lack of respect for the institution of marriage. There are many like them, who completely disrespect commitments in general and marriage in particular.

To me a marriage is sacrosanct, and to defile it is sacrilege, and so I feel personally offended to see people take marriage so lightly. Though I do not take cheating of any kind light heartedly, making a mockery of marriage is just unacceptable to me. Grown men, fathers of children, doing but to dishonor a marriage,is not just undignified, it is purely filthy. I can accept a divorce and re-marriage, but these king of threesome arrangements are just such a sham, so disrespectful to both the women involved, and just simply unfair. Marriage is nothing, if not a real commitment. A marriage is not about the ceremony, but about the commitment from one's heart and soul, and what is a person worth if he cannot keep his commitment. Such open disgrace of marriage really saddens me, and I wish people would grow up, and be ready to accept their responsibilities and commitments with true honesty to themselves as well as their spouse.

This Is Reality

2009-02-18T13:42:00.001-08:00

This is not a post by me, but something I am reproducing, after reading it on Dipali's blog.It has been authored by Saugata Chaterji, and its a true account. I am horrified beyond words, but happy to see that these people are fighting it. Keep going Saugata!

A few of my friends and I were just paying our bills and coming out of our regular Friday night watering hole and dinner place in Rest House Road, just off Brigade Road, and most of the women in the company were already standing outside. Some of us outside were smoking, people were happy, there was laughter and jokes, as there were many other people in the street, all coming out, satiated, in the closing hour of the various pubs and restaurants around.

Suddenly from up the street a massive SUV comes revving and speeding, hurtling down, and stops in a scream of brakes and swirling dust, millimeters away from this group of 4 women, barely missing one of their legs. A white Audi, imported, still under transfer, with the registration plate of KA-51 TR-2767. Some millionaire's toy thing, that in the wrong hands can kill.

Naturally the women are in shock. And quickly following the shock comes indignation. These are self made women running their own businesses, managing state responsibilities for global NGO firms, successful doctors. They are not used to being bullied. So they turn around, instead of shrinking back in fear. They protest.

And as soon as they turn around in protest, the car doors are flung open, and a stream of 4-5 rabid men run out towards these women, screaming obscenities in Hindi and Kannada against women in general, fists flailing. Some of us who came in running at the sound of the screaming brakes now stand in the middle in defense of our women, and then blows start raining down. One of the goons make a couple of calls over the cellphone, and in seconds a stream of other equally rabid goondas land up. They gun straight for the women, and everyone – a few well-meaning bystanders, acquaintances who know us from the restaurant, basically everyone who tries to help the women – starts getting thoroughly beaten up.

Women are kicked in the groin, punched in the stomach, slapped across the face, grabbed everywhere, abused constantly. Men are smashed up professionally, blows aimed at livers, groins, kidneys and nose. A friend is hit repeatedly on the head by a stone until he passes out in a flood of blood.

A plain-clothes policeman (Vittal Kumar) who saunters in late stands by watching and urging people to stop, but doing absolutely nothing else. A 'cheetah' biker cop comes in, with our women pleading him to stop this madness, but he refuses action, saying a police van will come in soon and he cannot do anything. Everyone keeps getting hammered. Relentlessly.

The carnage continues for over 20 minutes.

Finally when the police van does come in it is this vandals who are raging and ranting, claiming to be true "sons of the Kannadiga soil", and we are positioned to be the villainous outsiders, bleeding, outraged. How do the cops believe them, especially seeing the bloody faces of our men and the violated rage of our women, while they carry nary a scratch on their bodies? Don't ask me! Yet, it is us who these goondas urge the newly arrived law-keepers to arrest, and the police promptly comply, and we are bundled into the van, some still being beaten as we are pushed in. Some blessed relief from pain inside the police van at least, even if we are inside and the real goons outside, driving alongside in their spanking white Audi. The guy who was hit by the stone is taken separately by the women to Mallya hospital.

Inside the police station at Cubbon Park it becomes clear that these goons and the police know each other by their first names. The policeman in charge (Thimmappa) initially refuses to even register any complaint from me, on the purported grounds that I am not fluent in Kannada and I have taken a few drinks (3 Kingfisher pints, to be precise) over the evening. No, it doesn't matter that I didn't have my car and was not driving, and no, it doesn't mater that the complaint will be written in English. We watch them and the goons exchange smiles and nods with our our bloodied and swelling eyes and realize in our pain-clouded still-in-shock brains the extent of truth in the claim of one of the main goons when he claimed earlier in the evening in virulent aggression: we own this town, this car belongs to an MLA, we will see how you return to this street!!

This was the turning point of the saga, I guess. For we refused to lie down quietly and be victims.

One of our girls, a vintage and proud Bangalorean who is running one of the town's most successful organic farming initiatives, took upon herself to write the complaint, when I was not allowed to write the same. Another Bangalore girl, a state director of a global NGO firm, wrote the other molestation complaint separately on behalf of all the girls. Some of us called our friends in the media and corporate world. Everyone stepped up. And even when the odds were down and we were out, we did not give up, and as a singular body of violated citizens we spoke in one voice of courage and indomitable spirit. That voice had no limitation of language, not Kannada, nor English, or Hindi. It was the voice of human spirit that cannot be broken.

And in the face of that spirit, for the first time, we saw the ugly visage of vandalism, hiding behind the thin and inadequate veil of political corrupt power, narrow-vision regionalism and self-serving morality, start to wilt.

We spent 6 hours next day in the police station. The sub-inspector of police who filed our FIR, Ajay R M, seemed a breath of fresh air inasmuch that he did not appear a-priori biased like others, even though the hand of corruption and politico-criminal power backing these goons was still manifest in many ways: a starched, white-linen power-broker walked in handing over his card to the sub-inspector in support of the goons; the goons got an audience with the Inspector because of this intervention, while we had to interact one level lower down in the hierarchy; the plains cloth policeman of last night, even though he had arrived far too late in the crime scene, gave a warped statement, passing it off as a "neutral" point of view, repeatedly stressing that we came out of a pub and hence were drinking, positioning this as a 'drunken brawl', while completely forgetting to mention the unprovoked attack against the women and the one-sided vandalism and violence that ensued. I guess one cannot blame the low ranked police officer – the criminal connections of these goons must be pervasive enough for him to be careful.

Thanks however to the impartial handling of the situation by Ajay, soon the goons were all identified. The lead actor was one Ravi Mallaya (38), a real estate honcho and owner of a small property off Brigade Road which he has converted into a "gaming" (you know what that means, don't you?) adda. The others identified are Mohan Basava (22) of Chamarajapet 12th Cross, R. Vijay Kumar Ramalingaraju (25) and Shivu Rajashekar (20). All are residents of 12th & 13th Cross in Vyalikaval. Their bravado and machismo were by that time evaporated. It was good to see their faces then.

Of course nothing much happened to them, nor did we expect it. They were supposed to be in lock up for at least the weekend till they were produced in court, but we understand that they were quickly released on (anticipatory?) bail. The car, purportedly belonging to an MLA, also does not figure in the FIR, apparently for reasons of "irrelevance to the case".The media also have given us fantastic coverage and support so far, strengthening the cause.

The goons meanwhile, as an after thought, also filed the customary reverse complaint on the morning after we filed our own complaint: the women have apparently scratched the car! (Why did they not file the complaint the same night, considering they came to the Police Station in the same car? Why was the car allowed to be taken off police custody? Why is the car still irrelevant to the case and not in the FIR? Questions.. questions..).

Is this the end of this saga? Probably not. Are these women, more precious to us as friends and wives than most things in our lives, safe to walk or drive down Brigade Road from now on or are the goonda elements, slighted by this arrest and disgrace, are lying in ambush, waiting, biding their time to cause some of us more grievous harm? We don't know. Is there reason for us to remain apprehensive of future attacks and victimization? Perhaps.

But here is the point.

We stood up.

We believed in the power of individual citizens even in the face of hooliganism, intolerance, corruption and power mongering. Even though many of us have the option of leveraging political or government connections, we deliberately chose to fight this battle as individuals. Sure, these connections have been activated and they have been kept informed, should the worst case scenario unfold tomorrow. But we have chosen to not leverage them. And in every small win we register as a group of individual outraged citizens of Bangalore and India, however insignificant these milestones may be in the larger scheme of things, there is one small notch adding up in favor of what is right, one small notch against what is wrong. And we believe that every such small notch counts, each such mark is absolutely invaluable.

It is the people who make this city, this country, this world. It is you and I, as much as the terrorists inside and outside. And in our small insignificant little ways, it is my responsibility and yours to not shirk from investing effort – not just lip service or any token attempt, but real effort – in backing up what we ourselves believe in. It is so easy to logically argue that everything is corrupt, nothing is worth it, there are so many risks involved. We must not fall trap to this escapist trend. We must not fail to try.

Next time you feel outraged, violated, abused, don't let it go by and add up to your list of litanies and complaints. Stand up and take it to the limit - at least your own limit. Not in the same way as they wrong you, but in the way that every citizen, at least in theory, is entitled to complain and protest. Do not let the hooligans power rant scare you or prompt you into submission. Do not allow the corrupt cop make you give up trying. Carry the flame forward. Try harder.

If are up to it, start right now.

Forward this note to everyone you want to be made aware of this. Post it in your own blogs. Talk about it amongst your circles. And if anyone of you should like to step forward with a word of empathy or advise, talk to me. Comment.

It is not Bangalore that is going to the dogs. It is us. We have far too long become accustomed to let everything go. And the more we let things go without any protest or fight, the dormant criminal and dark elements of the society get that much more encouraged. Every time we turn the other way, the hooligan next street gets incentivized to push the boundary a little further, provoke a little more, try something a little more atrocious. It is time for us to refuse to let this go on. We are responsible for making ourselves proud. Lets believe in ourselves. We can do this.

My name is Saugata Chatterjee. And I am standing up.I refuse to let Bangalore go to the hooligan slumdogs, even if some of them are pets of corrupt power millionaires.

Who Really Deserves the Wrath

2009-02-16T02:09:00.000-08:00

I have been debating this post for almost a week now, mostly because I wanted to be sure of my own stand and thoughts. It is something that has caught on like wild fire, the Pink Chaddi Campaign (PCC). With some of my favourite bloggers supporting it passionately, my doubts seemed more doubtful even to myself. But before going further, I am happy to see that the campaign has managed to garner so much support and has been such a success. Its great that people have been really outraged and done something about it this time.

At a more personal level, I was not very convinced with the entire thing, and as always with me, knew that it was not something I wanted to be a part of instinctively. And yet seeing all the people supporting with such vigour and passion I started getting confused. A fellow blogger sent me an invite to join the group on facebook, and in the moment I accepted it. But just did not like calling myself loose. Because that is not what I think of myself. And only after clearing all the thoughts in my mind, did I leave the 'Consortium of pubgoing, loose and forward women'. Why should I call myself names because some goon thinks of me that way. It is like agreeing with him and fighting him, after accepting his verdict. Is it not?

I read more blogs, and found that some other women shared my thoughts too. A few said it is replying to 'nonsense with nonsense'. Really? I wonder! The women and men who joined the campaign, don't seem to think it is something nonsensical, they are rather passionate about it. More importantly, what happened was not nonsense in the first place.It was a criminal offence. Physically abusing and molesting women is a grave crime, NOT nonsense. It is not to be taken lightly. It is pathetic that these men are now roaming free, ready to prey on some other women. That is not nonsense, trust me. The panties they have received has only worked to enrage their narrow minds further and they are wrecking worse mayhem. These people do not understand the act of sending panties to them, honestly I don't get the logic either, so I am going by the 'nonsense for nonsense' theory here.

Many have said it is a non violent way to reply to their disgusting act. I don't understand that people. There is nothing violent about self defence. If someone comes to attack me, rape me, I will fight with all the strength in my body, I will not be non violent. The only non-violent way to deal with these people in my opinion, is to make them actually realise their mistake, and I doubt pink panties will do the trick, it will only further fuel their outbursts.

I admired the protest that was carried out in Delhi on Valentine's Day. I read about it on Indyeah's blog. Superbly done, and exactly the kind of action I would go for, and wholeheartedly support. It has to be made clear that we do not condone an attack on the modesty of women anywhere in our country, that all Indian women(and sensible men) stand together against such acts.

If anyone deserved those panties, it is the Karnataka government and administration. There are always rogue elements in every society, the authorities are responsible to keep them in check and control their activities. It is the government and the police that have failed the women who were attacked in particular and the society in general. They need to be shamed for their inaction and lack of responsibility. It is the government who is at fault here more than anyone else, because it is they who collect votes and taxes from us. It is they who have let these creatures out on bail , allowing them to prey on some more women, and making it clear to others that such acts will not attract any serious punishment. Shameful really really shameful.

The final thing is, what has the PCC achieved? Does the momentum continue past the 14th of Feb. If yes, what does it wish to achieve and most importantly how? Muthalik and gang are crazy goons. they need to be locked up and awarded the severest punishment ensuring such acts do not repeat themselves. So my angst is directed completely at the napunsak* government and police force of Karnataka. They are the ones truly guilty, doing nothing. Goons are goons and will remain that way, it is the government which is responsible to take care of them. Yeddyurappa you are a failure, a sad joke on the state.

* napunsak is Hindi for impotent, but the language makes the word that much more hard hitting.

What Are We?.... A Joke?

2009-02-15T12:20:00.000-08:00

We are nearing the completion of three months since the terrorist attack on Bombay, and what do we have in hand? A BIG FAT nothing. The country is just sitting there making a big joke out of itself. It is not just sad, it is humiliating really. We have a live terrorist in hand, who is alive and unpunished, and believe you me, I will not be surprised if he is eventually handed over to Pakistan, and ends up living till a ripe old age. Yes, that is how much faith I have in our government.

India is no longer an independent republic, which can protect itself. We need to offer the results of investigations to every other country in the world, and await their approval to defend our soil and people. Knowing who is behind the gruesome act is not enough. We sit and talk. What faith do I ever have on my government which sits and does absolutely nothing after such a huge act against its people, on its soil. It is just shameful.

Will this again be a repeat of the '93 Bombay blasts, where the victims and their families had to wait for fourteen long years for any sign of justice? India and Pakistan seem to be in a shouting match, which would be hilarious, if it were not so deplorable. The security of our country has been breached, openly, publicly and humiliatingly, and we do nothing. All the cries of let us not forget this are well forgotten, and we move on as always, because we don't have a choice. The government as usual sits with its hands in its lap, and issues meaningless statements from time to time. Pakistan sits smug knowing no one or nothing is going to hurt them. So will you be surprised if the very same attack is carried out again, even tomorrow?

The fact that Pakistan has the audacity to demand that the captured terrorist be handed over to them itself speaks volumes. This man walked into our country, openly killed people on our soil, and then another country who refused to so much as even accept he is a citizen of their nation, demands him being handed over.(For people who will disagree, yes they have not yet asked, but have said they may, and I will hardly blink my eyes if they do!) This has to be a nightmare, a big fat joke. What is happening with the investigation? Is it not yet complete? If yes, then why are we still waiting, why is there no action? Why are the guilty not being persecuted, why is it not being made clear to the world that India will not tolerate such violation of its safety and security ever again? Or is India waiting for someone else to fight its battle?

As long as we are ready to remain sitting ducks, who never retaliate, and never learn, there is not much better we can hope for. As citizens of the country, we can never be sure that we are safe. Sad, shameful and disgusting!

The Woman is Always But A Woman

2009-02-12T14:40:00.000-08:00

It has been a while, since my last post, and that is because I was very very busy the last week. Busy because I had guests at home, and guests who have left me completely disenchanted and disillusioned. I have known them a while, but this was the first time that we stayed together.I think that is what brought out many ugly truths, about the reality of the urban Indian woman to me. I could not quite accept what I saw, but I cannot dismiss the truth and reality of it all either.

I have always believed that degrees and qualifications, do not necessarily ensure an open accepting mind, and my belief was strongly re-enforced by what I observed during their stay here. She is a doctor, who cooks and cleans and cares for her husband and son. She works and earns too. Quite like me, except for the working bit I had thought, but that is exactly where the similarities end. She does not have control over her bank accounts, or even her ATM card. I could not believe it.Really could not, how can one earn money and have no control over he earning, that is just unreal to me. What is economic independence, if your finances are not under your control. After living in the world of blogs the past few months, where women proudly hold on to their maiden surname post marriage, this was a real shock to me. She is a doctor for heaven's sake, not the maid, whose drunk husband takes away her earnings. How are things different in both cases I wonder. The difference is that she willingly lets it be this way, while the maid would probably fight to save her earning. She actually had to ask her husband before purchasing things and request him to pay for them. To be honest we have only one earning member in our family at present, and we do consult each other before non-essential purchases, but it is not about seeking permission ever. I could not believe what I saw. Such things in modern, urban living?

There was more to follow. The man drinks and regularly too. He loves to drink, and so the DH and he make good drinking buddies. I guess friends are meant for that, hanging around, over some drinks. Which was all well, till the night I wanted a drink too. After an entire day of running around, and managing two little brats, I wanted to unwind. I suggested that glasses be poured out for me and the lady too, since it was Vodka that night, a drink that I can handle. The woman of course in true bharatiya nari style has never even sipped a drink, so I suggested she gives it a try. The man was shocked at my brazen boldness I think. He could not say a clear no in our presence, but made it quite clear indirectly that he did not want his wife drinking. She of course obediently said no, inspite of the initial show of enthusiasm. I actually ended up letting her steal a sip off my glass, hiding from her husband. Can you imagine a grown woman, a mother having to hide and do things. There were obviously many questions about my drinking, but the first took the cake, because of the shocked surprise in which the DH was asked, "She drinks?". I think this irritated the DH more than it did me. They were seriously shocked that I drank. I actually got all defensive and finally said, I hardly ever drink. I regret that now. How can anyone drink and think it is ok for him to do so, but not his wife. Such hypocritical double standards. Disgusting.

What bothers me most is that the woman quietly accepts all of this, and does not even think there is anything wrong with the way things are. There can be no change, till she demands it and moreimportantly wants it.I have come to realise that academic education alone will not help liberate women, there has to be an opening up of the minds too. Its the self understanding and acceptance that is needed. A million degrees would not ensure that the person actually realises what women's liberation means. I really had higher hopes from the urban Indian woman, I had thought she has travelled to much greater heights than this. This is just not acceptable. We cannot accept being trampled.

The Right to NOT Vote

2009-02-03T05:36:00.000-08:00

D had recently done a post telling us how she lacks choice in her constituency, not finding any candidate that she would like to vote. It is like choosing between the Devil and the deep blue sea. This is a mail I had received a while back, and I dug it out of my inbox, because I want to share it with every Indian reading this. Please read on.

Did you know that there is a system in our constitution, as per the 1961 act, in section "49-O" that a person can go to the polling booth, confirm his identity, get his finger marked and convey the presiding election officer that he doesn't want to vote anyone !!!!

Yes, such a feature is available, but obviously these seemingly notorious leaders have never disclosed it.
This is called "49-O". Why should you go and say "I VOTE NOBODY"...
because, in a ward, if a candidate wins, say by 123 votes, and that particular ward has received "49-O" votes more than 123, then that polling will be cancelled and will have to be re-polled.

Not only that, but the candidature of the contestants will be removed and they cannot contest the re-polling, since people had already expressed their decision on them.

This would bring fear into parties and hence look for genuine candidates for their parties for election.

This would change the way, of our whole political system... it is seemingly surprising why, and election commission has not revealed such a feature to the public.... please spread this news to as many as you know... Seems to be a wonderful weapon against corrupt parties in India ... show your power, expressing your desire not to vote anybody, is even more powerful than voting... so don't miss your chance.

So either vote, or vote not to vote (vote 49-O)

I have cross-referenced it on the internet and here is what I have found.

"49-O. Elector deciding not to vote.-If an elector, after his electoral roll number has been duly entered in the register of voters in Form-17A and has put his signature or thumb impression thereon as required under sub-rule (1) of rule 49L, decided not to record his vote, a remark to this effect shall be made against the said entry in Form 17A by the presiding officer and the signature or thumb impression of the elector shall be obtained against such remark."(link)

This is what Wikipedia has to offer. An article appeared in DNA about this a while back. Reading these two, it seems a re-poll will not happen, but this is a legal option available to us, and when we need to, we must make use of it.

Fiction - Varsha Rath

2009-02-01T15:32:00.000-08:00

Disclaimer - This is a work of fiction, any resemblance to any person dead or alive is purely co-incidental and unintentional.

A time not long back, lived a woman named Varsha Rath, a smart and cocky journalist. She was passionate about her profession, and would risk anything to get what she wanted. This ofcourse meant that any kind of detractors were mercilessly done away with. With a burning passion to make herself popular, she went on to cover wars and terror attacks, sensationalising, and emotionalising them to the core, no matter what the cost. The only thing that mattered was that she sell well.

In the brand new liberated world of blogs, many people expressed their dislike of her work, and quite rightly so, since everyone has a right to their opinion. Ms. Rath of course took great offence to all this and launched a tirade against the world of blogs. With her clout in her news channel, she organised talk shows, expressing her clear dislike of blogs, steering all credibility away from bloggers. Her pick of bloggers were mostly people who wrote about sex in someway or the other in their blogs, whether a gay man expressing his emotions, or an ultra chic babe writing about her sex life(along with other things) or a lady who writes factually about sex amongst other things. So you see, after seeing a show like that, people who are not a part of the blog world, would believe that it is basically all about sleaze. As I said before Varsha is a smart chic, she got most of the bloggers on her show on the defensive, one way or the other, asking questions like, "Oh! Do your parents read this?" or "Don't you feel any discomfort sharing everything about your life publicly?". The few bloggers she mistakenly invited who did not mention sex in any form on their blog, were casually ignored, while the ones who did write about sex were focused on. The attempt to discredit bloggers from any kind of credibility was rather cheap, but then she was highly biased.

A couple of years down the line, Varsha covered a terror attack on one of the prime cities in her country. As always along with appreciation, also came well informed criticism. By now, power, popularity and fame had really gone into her head. She could not handle it. Varsha was outrightly annoyed with her critics. So much so, that using her clout as a journalist working for a well established news channel, she filed legal suites against bloggers who had written against her, forcing them to withdraw posts, that they had written based on their own observations, believing they had the right to speak their mind.

And the whole blog-world was shocked by this, because all bloggers believed blogs were a space for free expression. The poor blogger who was cornered, had to submit an apology, because a person who blogs to express his opinions in his own space and time, could not afford either the time or effort required to fight a long drawn legal battle. But the whole incident did bring out the true face of Varsha Rath, who had been steadily climbing the ladder of success, which seemed to have gone to her head, rendering her incapable to accept any kind of criticism in the right spirit. She believed herself beyond reproach or any kind of censure, and with the power she had gained, went out hard and strong to crush anyone who dared to do that.

What she did not realise is that legal notices can affect the style of expression, but never the individual thoughts or emotions of people. So everytime she tries to crush the spirit of free expression, more and more ways would be devised to continue to do just that, whether she can deal with it or not. So cheers, to free thought, and free expression.

Beware - Barkha Dutt Padh Legi

2009-01-29T03:47:00.001-08:00

(roughly translated - Barkha Dutt will read it.)

So the blog world is not really the space for free expression like I thought it is. I am not really allowed to express my opinion freely, especially if it is against Barkha Dutt. Evidently freedom of expression only applies to the press, no matter how irresponsible their behaviour.

Please read this post by Lekhni and do follow the links in it. She has written it so well, that I think there is hardly anything more for me to add.

Chetanya Kunte, a blogger, who criticised the irresponsible coverage of the 26th Nov terror attack on Bombay, was forced to take his post off his blog, after legal intervention on behalf of NDTV.

Here is a copy of the post.
Scroll down to find it right at the end.

I think all bloggers should be aware that this is happening. No matter what each of us believe in, I think each one of us believe in the right to express freely in our space. This is simply outrageous.

Barkha Dutt's dislike of bloggers is well known, and this just gets worse.

Please read a post by Sandeep and another one by another outraged blogger here.

Please forgive the bad formatting, and flow in this post. I am too ill to actually post, but could not really ignore this.

Edited to Add - You can do your bit, by just adding your details to the mail created by Aditya. Please help.

Explaining My Thinking

2009-01-28T04:48:00.000-08:00

In one of my previous posts condemning Sanjay Dutt for attempting to contest elections, a commentator has said ' I seriously think Sanjay Dutt has paid enough for his misdemeanor, How long do you want to hang him on his cross?'. I replied to the comment, but I felt it needed further explanation, for anyone else who may feel the same way, but might not have commented on it.

Sanjay Dutt, for one has not been acquitted of his crime, but has been found guilty under the Arms Act, and is out on bail. To be clear, he is a convicted criminal, and that does not make him innocent. I think and hope everyone agrees with this, and so I move on further. I am not a part of any political party, nor do I have any personal motivation for malice against Mr. Dutt. I am neither here to judge his acts whether in personal life or public, and pay little attention to whatever nonsense he speaks. I just think he is lucky to belong to a rich and influential family, to have been let off on bail, and to be allowed to earn and live lavishly by working in films. And I would just leave it at that, and keep reading or hearing about his marriages/girlfriends/break-ups/phone-calls/daughter/sister as a regular piece of gossip. The issue rises, because he wants to represent a huge number of Indian citizens in the parliament, and that means he is given the responsibility, authority as well as power to affect a lot of lives in the country. And that is what I find unacceptable. It is sad enough that in our country, we have very little as criteria for someone to be eligible for contesting elections, but to allow a convicted criminal is just heinous, and that too with someone who has proven links with the supporters, financiers and helpers of terror attacks in the country. I feel that is a violation of the sanctity of the Indian Parliament.

Yes, there are many convicted criminals who are a part of the Indian political scenario already, and that is a highly shameful situation in itself, no doubt. But we cannot say it is okay to do something wrong because someone else has already done it. I have made a start, an attempt to stop such wrong practices, this is my contribution, in my own little way. And I hope people understand why.

And I have not taken any offence to any comment on the previous post, a healthy debate is always welcome.

I see that quite a few fellow bloggers have picked up this logo, and wish to say thanks for supporting the cause. Just to be clear, I have designed and created the logo myself, with some inputs from Solilo and Smitha. So people if you are using it, it would be nice if you left me an intimation, telling me you are picking it up, or at least mention it on your blog. I did not water print my name on it, because I did not want to take away from the cause.

I have requested you before, and I am requesting you again, if any one has any ideas on taking this forward, please do let me know, please share your inputs. As of now, I am planning to send the previous post "Message to Sanjay Dutt" to a couple of newspapers, and I also wish to add the links to blogs of others who support the cause. If you really want to support this, please do drop in a line in the comment space for this post. I will be taking the liberty of including all the blogs which have used the logo or the slogan in my mail, so if you want to be exempt, please let me know.

And We Celebrate Republic Day.

2009-01-27T12:41:00.000-08:00

I wonder if our country is becoming a joke, really. Religion of course has no meaning, in its true sense in this country anymore, and outrageous, inhumane acts seem to have become the norm.
I wonder if I even wish to care anymore, because most times the whole cause seems just so hopeless and helpless. I did not post yesterday, because I did not want to spread my cynicism around on Republic Day, and I had nothing nice to think or say either. My header is a simple way of saying, that India is looking like a sham now. Yes, you can abuse me, and throw sticks at me, but that is exactly what I feel at this point of time.

Just over two months ago, the financial capital of the country was held hostage by a few petty terrorists, people screamed and cried about it.There were protest marches held, candle light vigils, loads of media coverage, which turned the terrorist(Kassab) into a celebrity of sorts, posts in the blog world, and in a couple of months it is all over. When was the last time we wrote or thought about it. What steps has the government taken to ensure that we do not face a situation like that ever again? What happened to the 'Do Not Forget' bits? We are all back to normal, Bombay functions just as it did, and we live in the false notion of all is well. Does not feel good, trust me. How do we do this to ourselves, why??

India would do well to do away with religion completely, become an atheist nation, if it wants to really survive. Nothing but gruesome, and dastardly acts are carried out in the name of religion in this country. When was the last time we did something good in the name of religion. The names of the Gods' are tainted by the abominable acts carried out in their names. Bajrang Dal, Shiv Sena and now Shri Ram Sena. There is that feeling of revulsion attached to these names now. How dare these men(??) insult my Gods? I really wish that in a very cinematic form, the Gods would really appear and punish these evil evil men. My blood boils in abhorrence and outrage when I read of incidents like these. We are a free country they say, and we allow such things to happen? It would be right to say the country is in a state of anarchy and complete lawlessness, and nothing less. We let goon gangs like these remain and flourish, without even contemplating banning them. How sad are we? Women are abused and molested in the name of God and morality? And of course all the outrage will die out soon enough, not only because we have become desensitised, but also because there will be something worse to infuriate us for the moment.

We know no one will be severely punished, we know our impotent government and legal system, are making a show of arrests, and the accused would be set free as soon as the furore dies down. No one would dare to punish them like they should be, to set an example that would induce fear in the hearts of those who even contemplate such terrible acts of inhuman proportions. There would be money changing hands, pressure from the men in positions of power, and all would be done with and forgotten. That is the glorious country we live in, and the truth we have all taken for granted. Murderers roam free, because they have political clout supporting them. Goons and mobs dominate the lives of citizens, because the police is incompetent and absolutely worthless.

Shame on me for standing and bearing this, for not doing anything and living this gruesome truth.

India has become a country of contradictions.

A democracy, where monarchy is followed.

A free country where the citizens are not free to do what they want to.

A secular country, where religion causes strife.

A country whose constitution gives equal rights to its citizens, but where each citizen is discriminated against at some level or the other, for what they are.

A country which has formidable defence forces, but is constantly plagued by terrorist attacks.

A country which claims to have laws for everyone, but they are implemented only on the weak and poor.

A country which claims to be an economy to be reckoned with, but where half the country is yet to have regular supply of electricity and drinking water.

We live in denial, we live in the glossy world woven by film makers, and in the jazzy new malls, and conveniently push under the carpet the things that really matter, like our real freedom, respect as a citizen and foremost our safety and security. The country lives in a state of anarchy people, and we do not even accept the truth. We should hang our heads in shame.

Message to Sanjay Dutt

2009-01-25T03:30:00.000-08:00

Since Mr. Sanjay Dutt has sent an open message to all the women saying "That’s a message not just to my sisters, but to all girls who hang on to their parents’ surname. That’s become fashionable these days. But I strongly feel that doing so disrespects the person they have married. ",(read the entire interview here ) I think I have a right to send a message across to him too. So here goes -

Mr Dutt,

I received your message a few days back, but was busy with life, so could not respond immediately, because you do not list in the priorities of my life. Though I think you have the misconception that you do, and hence have sent the message. But the manners imbibed in me, make it a must for me to reply.

Let me at the onset let you know, that I think of you as nothing better than any other convicted criminal, and the kind of scum I would never wish to interact with. I think your greed has taken over your head, and instead of being thankful to be free and permitted to continue earning through films, you now want to contest elections. So let us just say I think of you as an extremely greedy criminal.

You sent a message to women, who continue to use their parents' surname post marriage, telling them that you think that is disrespectful of the husband. Firstly a dictum on life post marriage coming from a man who has been married a number of times, sometimes legally, sometimes not, is rather funny. First try and understand what marriage is, and also respect the institution, then maybe, just maybe we can talk. You are a two bit polygamist, and that is all, please and just please do not spread the filth of your thoughts around. Any woman worth her salt will not pay an iota of attention to your sexist message. The only thing you have done, by sending the message is that you have exposed your brainless, bigoted personality some more. I will not bother to say more than this, that will just insult my intelligence.

I have a very clear, and personalised message for you. BACK OFF. Yes, just simply back off.I am not expecting you to have any shame, because your behaviour has clearly shown you have none. So I am just telling you straight up to back off. Don't make fun of my country and its democracy. You are a felon, and convicted criminal, and that is more than enough to discredit you from ever contesting an election in my country. So save us and yourself the trouble, and don't even think about yourself, or that nautch girl wife of yours ever trying to contest an Indian election. What is her nationality anyway, does she have a legitimate set of parents, besides her previous husband/s of course.

I don't believe you can do any good for anybody, forget about an entire constituency of people, and why choose Lucknow, you have no roots, no connection to that city. You can go and live with you elder-brother-like Amar Singh and do whatever you want to, but spare us the nonsense. I hate personal attacks, but I also believe in the policy of tit-for-tat. A man who does not get along with his own blood, is trying to hire a brother is he? What is the deal between the two of you anyway?

Keep your money, name,surname, arrogance, greed, and pathetic thoughts to yourself, and to the even more pathetic people surrounding you, we don't wish to bear with that nonsense.

Here is hoping you would have the decency to step back from the political arena along with the nautch girl and not bother us in the future.

Goofy Mumma.

The campaign is spreading out, and the logo has been picked up by Roop, Musings and Pixie. Please feel free to use the logo on your blogs, mails or any other way you think you can spread the awareness.

He Can GetYou Killed. Stop Him.

2009-01-23T11:26:00.000-08:00

A lot has been said all over the blog-o-sphere about the regressive, non-feminist(??) and chauvinistic statements being made by the Dutt couple. You just have to look around to see the outrage of the sane Indian. And it is quite obvious they are lying through their teeth. Ask Sanjay Gupta if you want. Quoting from the link 'Maanya has also been a positive influence in Sanjay�s life; she manages his home, finances and even his life. Maanya has in fact distanced Sanjay from many of his friends who earlier used to take advantage of his kindness.'

Here are some well-written posts I read by D, Chandni, IHM, Bones and I am desisting from writing about it because I can barely write anymore than that and definitely no better.

What I do want to talk about are the grave risks involved in ever permitting this man or his wife to join the Indian political foray. He is a criminal, a pal of the terrorists, and poses immense security threat to the country, even in his current non political avatar. He is lucky to be just free to roam the streets and act in movies.

This is the man who is friends with notorious underworld goons Dawood Ibrahim and Chhota Shakeel. He was aware of the 1993 Bombay blasts before they happened, and his friendship facilitated him in obtaining an AK-47 illegally. He even tried to destroy the weapon, to save himself. He was charged under TADA, till the act itself was removed. Many believe that was on the persuasion and efforts of Sanjay Dutt's family(father and sisters) to safeguard him. We felt pity for him then, and that was probably our grave mistake. We knew that he would not really be convicted. Nita had written this during the final hearing of the 93 blast case.

There is no doubt that this man is friends with the underworld nexus, and it is a well known fact that Dawood aids every terror attack on India. So if we let this man or his wife(because if we believe her claims of acting only on Sanjay Dutt's orders, she will be just a puppet in his hands), be even legible to contest elections, we are seriously jeopardising the safety on Indian citizens. Manyata on her own has no credibility either, with a murky past, and unknown whereabouts before marriage, she does not inspire much faith. She was married before, and one wonders if she really followed what her ex-husband told her to do, like she follows Sajay Dutt. It is essential for us to understand that this man is dangerous, he is a threat to the country, even in his current state, giving him political power will be equivalent to committing suicide by the Indian citizens. He claims that he can and has been doing a lot for the society.

To quote "Amar Singh is like my elder brother, and he was the first one to ask me. I wasn't even sure if I could become an MP. But he convinced me, knowing my background the kind of work I have been doing for society. I was really honoured. So I decided to give it a shot."

I don't believe one has to be a part of politics to do good to the society. Look at the many NGOs around Mr. Dutt and you will know.

It is now up to us, the citizens of India to protect our interests and prevent our nation's security to be compromised severely. This man has to be stopped. Forever banned from entering Indian politics.

A hilarious take on this has been posted by Ramesh, read that here.

Cacophoenix is just as enraged as all of us, she points out facts that sadly show how we let our own interests get trampled, and help the corrupt, and criminals flourish. She tells us how every attempt to improve the situation has been thwarted and we make oursleves worse. Do read what she wants us all to know, and she says it all in this post.

The Mad Momma, well she says it just perfectly as always, and puts words to my emotions.Read her post.

The IHM has had her fill too, and really puts it all there, for all of us, have a go at her new post.

It is heartening to see, so many bloggers feeling strongly about this, and writing with such passion. Please everyone else who wishes to write, do it, and spread the word. And please do take the logo and use it for your posts and blogs.

PS - May not post for the next couple of days, but everyone, please stay linked and spread the word.

We Can Make Him Stop.

2009-01-21T01:33:00.000-08:00

Not long ago, there was a time, when a person pursuing a political career, would make one wrong move and that would be the end of his political career. But the scenario is quite different now. It would seem like, a criminal background is a must for entry into Indian politics.

Sanjay Dutt perfectly describes the word scum in his persona. To even contemplate letting him into the political arena is simply spelling doom for the country. It is heartening indeed, to see so many bloggers feeling so strongly about this, and writing with not just passion and great style of writing, but with intensity and strong facts in place. I read some great posts by fellow bloggers on this today.

Solilo gives you true hard facts that are conveniently glossed over, and never really played on by the media like it should. Quoting her "Our Prime Minister is still a Rajya Sabha member. He didn’t contest Lok Sabha elections. Shivraj Patil who was the Home Minister till 26/11 happened, actually lost election yet appointed at such a prominent position by the party. How is a defeated politician appointed as Home Minister of India? Well! He showed his incompetence during recent 26/11 crisis." Read it all to know more.

IHM as always gives it to the readers the way it is, full of fire and passion. Here is an exerpt from her post "Sanjay Dutt (Munna Bhai) believes in Gandhi's values. He acted as a Gandhian in a movie.
Do we need a bigger proof?
Fine. Here goes,

i He follows Gandhian principles of simple living and high thinking. Gandhi lived in an ashram. Dutta's ashram is a Rs 3 Crore Luxury Volvo Caravan.

ii Gandhi believed in Non Violence, Sanjay Dutt believes in AK 47s.

iii Gandhi was against alcoholism. Sanjay Dutt found an alternative in drugs.

iv Cyrus Broacha goes on to say Sanjay Dutt's record in jail and more than one wives also makes him particularly suitable for fighting elections in UP.

v Amar Singh agrees.

vi Gandhi thought women and men (along with all other citizens ) are equal.".

Prerna tells us how evil the hand of Amar Singh is in a situation like this, with a great sense of humour.

Smitha is looking for an Obama in Indian politics, and ruing finding only criminals instead.

The MadMomma too did a post on this a few days ago, and expressed her shock and disgust at the situation.

The logo here, is for use of any blogger who wishes to support the cause, and please please if you do feel for it, spread the word, and share your ideas on taking this forward.

Moonie left a comment on an earlier post on the same subject saying "hhhmmmm I hope you see the bigger 'political' reason behind all this? Priya Dutt joined politics claiming to be the inheritor of Shri Sunil Dutt's legacy of social work; Now if she is the inheritor then where does Sanjoy Dutt stand? I guess this is just a political stunt for consumption of gullible UP people from where Sanjay Dutt plans to fight elections. The concept that the boy takes forward his father's legacy and name is quite prevalent in UP area; thus by making statements like 'I am eldest in family' and 'girls married should take up her husband's name' etc demonstrate his stake on Shri Sunil Dutt's name and goodwill which he holds with people of India due to REAL social work he has known to have done.
Sadly today's Dutt generation wants to take a short cut claim to fame.
Indeed Sanjay Dutt's utterances are utterly disgusting and show smallness of his mind."

And I think that is quite true is it not? The statement about women adapting to their husband's surname might have been a well orchestrated political stance, as well as a hit at his sisters. At such times there is such a lack of credibility, we can never be sure. What is surprising me though, is that the rival parties have not started the mud slinging yet, and trust me there is loads of mud and crap available on this man.

He who could not be a good father, wants to lead a constituency? To what? Ruin?
He who has had three wives, and many affairs, he who does not know what loyalty means, wants to represent a constituency?
The friend of a terrorists as political honchos, that is like inviting the terrorists with all their ammunition with welcoming, open arms is it not?

There is no way he can be allowed to contest any election in his lifetime, when it has been proven that he illegally possessed and destroyed arms. Once in power, who can stop him from doing worse? We have to stop this before it happens, we have to clean the dirt, we have to get, in the least people with clean records in our parliament, to even have a hope of improvement. It has become a case of choosing the fire or the frying pan now. A friend, who lives in Lucknow, does not want to vote for Sanjay Dutt, but the only other option is the BSP(Mayawati), and she feels that is even worse. I can so understand her predicament, because indeed what are our choices. We have to make it stop, we have to raise our voices. I really want to make an online petition, anyone reading this, if you have any thoughts on that, please please do help.

Ofcourse Mr. Amar Singh will stop at nothing,(He cannot go lower than where he is) and claims that if Sanjay Dutt, whose case is subjudice, is not allowed to contest, his wife(3rd) will. Does it get any worse? If Sanjay Dutt is planning to contest based on his movie portrayals, should not his wife be judged by the same. This is her most famous act, have a look.

Imagine this woman standing and representing a part of our country, a woman whose origins are debatable, and her past murky. There has to be some sense in the gullible, uneducated too. It is their life, their constituency after all.

In such dark times, there are two political parties, which hold promise, Lok Paritran and Lok Satta. They seem to be delivering some true values and morals to our political system. Probably a start to some hope for us.

Smitha, sent me this link, from one of the comments on her post, feels like a ray of hope really, but also brings in a great sense of shame. Ten thousand people with unbailable warrants issued for them are roaming free in Bihar. I am speechless.

Its Time For Action

2009-01-20T10:00:00.000-08:00

A few fellow bloggers have commented favourably to my request of supporting this cause. The way I see this working, is if we can create awareness of the facts amongst as many people as possible. Sanjay Dutt is not acceptable as a representative of any Indian to the parliament, let alone an entire constituency. He is a criminal, a drug addict and worse. We are being attacked and the common man like you and me are being killed mercilessly, we have to protect ourselves, and this man(??) is a friend of our enemy, a rather close one, the kind you share cheap jokes with. Read the transcript of his call to Chhota Shakeel to understand the nature of their
relationship.

Chandni has written about her views on this matter in her today's post, and Mamma Mia has shared her opinion in hers.I am requesting each and everyone of you to please give this some thought, share any idea of what you have to take this thing forward. We have to relentlessly work for this, there is no giving up, no stopping. We have a very corrupt system out there right now, and giving up hope will not work, because we have never really put up a fight. Let me just say, I will put in my best, and if you do believe Sanjay Dutt or his wife do not deserve to contest an Indian election, please put in your bit. Chandni, IHM, Solilo and Mamma Mia have also expressed their discontent at the situation, and have agreed to support this cause. Smitha too does not seem very happy with this man at the moment.

We need suggestions, we need any help we can get. The aim here is to get him permanently disqualified from contesting elections. I do not think highly of other politicians or political parties either, but this is simply unacceptable. A simple thing like talking to people, and making them aware of the danger of the situation can go a long way in helping this cause. This is not just about not voting for Sanjay Dutt, but this is about making it illegal for him to contest in his lifetime, and to send this out as a clear signal to all others like him, who have political aspirations. We say... NO, in my country we do not allow the enemies of the citizens to even contemplate being a parliamentarian.

Some concrete suggestions that I recieved were,
Solilo had this to say
"What we can do is probably to start a petition and also make a logo/awareness button and ask bloggers to pass it around with a series of posts on Sanjay Dutt. We can also mail it to media as media these days are hungry for any kind of sensational news. I was watching news today and got a shock seeing the support for Dutt in Lucknow. How these poor people get cheated all the time and still never learn. :("

Great idea say I. So here is a logo I have made, anyone who can do better, please feel free to, this is the best I could do with my sparse knowledge of photo editing. Use this logo when you post on this topic on your blogs, and please urge fellow bloggers to join in.

Media publicity would be great, but only if it is really consistent and truly with us, otherwise it will just be a one day piece if news, of no good use, really. Anybody, knows any media person who can help?

Mamma Mia suggests writing a letter that we can circulate to all that we know. I want to add my bit to this, let us try and create an online petition. Anyone with any expertise in this field please help. And then we can all spread awareness about this. Also if each of us could personally compose a mail and send I across to friends, I am sure it will be more impactful than a regular forward. I am however working out a letter/mail, and will put it up here as soon as it is done, feel free to spread it around.

Also if we can find out about legal ways to get his application nullified permanently. Is anyone aware of any online resource, where we can find something, or if any legally qualified person wants to help, I would be more than thankful.

Please everybody, protect and safeguard yourselves, by stopping a person with a terrorist record from contesting elections.
Jai Hind!

No Way On Earth!

2009-01-20T02:15:00.000-08:00

I have a nice new name for Sanjay Dutt, dopehead. And that is exactly all of what he is. I was disgusted by his desire to contest the elections, and his recent words have just left me more disgruntled with him than ever before. To quote some of his pearls of wisdom, here is an extract from his interview.

Girls who become part of a new family after marriage must assume their new surname and all the responsibilities that come with it.

Is that a message to Priya ?
That’s a message not just to my sisters, but to all girls who hang on to their parents’ surname. It’s become fashionable these days. But I strongly feel that doing so disrespects the person they’ve married.

Those are strong words.
This may sound harsh, but if Manyata had said that she wanted to retain her father’s surname, I would’ve felt offended.

So here are the thoughts of our up and coming politician on what married women should do. Of course they should show respect to their husband and his family and take his name, they are not a person on their own, and definitely are ill-mannered if they don't change their surname post marriage. At least this ex-TADA convict thinks so, and for some reason we should all listen. Would not have mattered really, but the fact that he is coming up to contest an election, makes all this very relevant. Some women, like Renuka Chowdhury and Girija Vyas reacted to it saying it is unconstitutional to say so. But it does not just seem enough.

If this is the mentality of a so called, upper class man, who wants to contest elections, and even if unknowingly, he has bared his true mentality here, it is nothing, if not nauseating. I am not really surprised that it comes from a drug addict and a criminal, but it is unacceptable to have him contest elections.

This man is friendly with the underworld. There has been enough proof to that effect. We know that he is a crook, a drug addict. There are just no two ways about it. He is pals with the people who orchestrate terrorist attacks on India, is it not plainly dangerous to let him or his wife enter the political arena? This person possessed an AK47, which he has illegally procured and he claims that he wants to help people. How can we even imagine fighting terrorism as a nation, if we allow well-publicised buddies of the miscreants contest for parliamentary seats. (And I don't give a damn about how many brothers the filthy Amar Singh has, their personalities or their life's issues. And if Amar Singh does not shut up his mouth soon, I might just shove a handful of sand in there.)

So here, today I am starting a STOP SANJAY DUTT effort, hoping that fellow Indian bloggers will join in and prevent this disaster awaiting to happen. Please spread the awareness, don't take it lightly and speak about it or blog about it. Please, please do support this, to keep India safe.

PS - Read this post for some more.

The Daughter In Law Dilemma

2009-01-17T13:54:00.000-08:00

Have been reading some amazing posts by the IHM on the predicament of being an Indian daughter-in-law(on her sidebar, Favourite Posts listing), and they are really the kind of things, that you read and nod your head along while reading it. It was even more amazing, because most Indian women, no matter how liberated, educated or uplifted would be able to identify with those posts if she is married. I guess the problem lies in the fact that Indian men at the end of the day remain to be the small little mama's boys in their heart and soul. The sad bit is, that the girls who have been loved and adored enough by her parents, cannot remain the same post marriage though. That she shifts to a new family, as she takes a new name is a taken.

Why I wonder? Years of tradition is it? No I don't really think so. I think it has a lot to do with the Indian man's need to dominate, that I think is what has set the tradition. A joint family in such conditions is a curse worse than I would like to imagine. Forget the privacy, and space requirement, it can become a fight for survival. The instinctive territorial needs of the in-laws come to the fore and the newly married woman hardly knows what to do. I really admire the women who know how to hold their own in such conditions.

What bothers me is the expectation or rather what is taken for granted is that she would love and be loyal to her in-laws, no matter what. She is expected to bemoan their losses, be gleeful at their joys, care for them like her own, feel for them and more. It is not even natural to feel that way for anyone you have known just for a few years, and that too may not be on very positive terms. The same of course does not apply to the men, they are not expected to do anything for their in-laws, and dare the girl's family expect that. And this exists in the most educated and sophisticated levels in our society, just like does the preference for a male child. Am I even surprised now?

Then of course is the classic case of blaming the daughter-in-law for everything the son does that his parents don't like, or pressurising for babies, and mind you it all happens in the absence of the son, for there cannot exist more loving in-laws in the world, when the son is around. It is the unsaid expectations, it is the lack of respect, the non-formal rules that guide a daughter-in-laws relationship with her in-laws in our country. And no matter where and when, she can always expect a sweet worded taunt, or a smiling reprimand, or even veiled critiques. Of course she is never good enough for the darling son, even if she works harder, earns more, is better looking or whatever. The son is never well taken care of, no matter if she is losing her health over all the taking care required, its always the son who needs to be attended to. And after such an attitude, how can the in-laws ever expect the daughter-in-law to feel for them in any way at all?

Oh! and did I mention that your home, is always their son's house, no matter if you both share a loan, and even the property rights? Its funny really. I had a friend who had married a man with two brothers. One was divorced, and the other lived out of station. After a few months of marriage, there was major discord in the household, with disagreements between the mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law. My friend and her husband shifted to another apartment the family owned in the vicinity. When she shifted to her mother's home after her delivery, her mother-in-law promptly sold off the apartment she lived in with her husband, just to spite her. The fact that she took care of all the arrangements of her father-in-law's funeral after that was admirable according to me, because I for one would not have been able to be that magnanimous.

While a woman can work, and be at the top of her career, she may have kids and rear them real well, but at the end of the day, she still would remain the Indian daughter-in-law, forever vulnerable, and never quite up to the mark.

Women, We are Our Own Enemy

2009-01-13T12:32:00.000-08:00

Every woman wants to become a man, and I don't understand why? We devalue our selves enough to not want to be what we are. Why is it that we always want to show that we are equal to men, we can do everything they can? Why are we so unhappy with ourselves, that we not only make ourselves miserable, but perpetuate the feeling of unworthiness to all the women around. And I am not even talking about the uneducated here.

Most urban women today, including myself have grown up in an environment, which values their worth only in terms of their ability to earn or succeed in work place. How rare has it become to hear a woman being praised for anything but her successful career. Does being a woman, who does not earn, stifle their right to being good or great. Is a woman praiseworthy, only if she succeeds in a field primarily dominated by men.

Why do we have to be equal to men, when we are complimentary to each other, we maintain the balance because we are our respective selves, and together form a whole. We have ourselves, as women degraded and belittled our natural instincts and abilities so much, that a woman who does not wish to earn, and look after her home and family instead,is now looked upon as someone inferior to the rest. And I have women to blame for this, as much as the men. There are many women out there, who think its unworthy to just be at home, and take care of a family. These women look down upon those who do, and hence it no longer remains to be a matter of choice, but of a need to be acknowledged that drives women to do things, which they might not even want to in the first place. I think of that as regressive.

It is not easy being a mother, if you truly are one. It is not easy to give the right start in life to a human being, a person. It is not easy to cook, clean, care for a home, and also take care of children. Women who think that it does not really matter, need a reality check. What would the world be without a mother, a nurturer, a caregiver. When we as women devalue our own roles, and want only to do what men do, we create a problem. And the worst part is, that the worst hit are the women who cannot enable themselves to do what men do. A woman in a village cannot think of a professional degree and earning abilities as a normal route in life, and hence she has no worth, and hence a girl child is killed at birth, because she is not deemed worthy of anything. I think each one of us is indirectly responsible for that.

A couple who are friends had visited recently. There is another couple, who are mutual friends, and have a son four months elder to mine. While talking, the lady and I went onto talk about the other lady, who resumed work within six months of having a baby, and has a maid at home looking after the child, while she is at her clinic. I just said, "I would never feel safe leaving my child with an unknown person, at least till he learns to express himself." The immediate response to this was,"Oh! But she is a doctor, so she has to work." There were two things about this statement that I did not like, primarily, just because I am not working does not make me less worthy, does not imply that I am incapable of working and earning, nor does it in anyway take away from the efforts I put in at doing what I am doing. Secondly, having a degree, does not necessitate the need to earn, that cannot be the priority, just because of my education. I then told her very sweetly, that I am an engineer too, as qualified as my husband, but to me its a matter of priority, and in my mind, being home taking care of my child does not make me any less of a person.

But this also showed me what we as women think of other women, we value their worth by their earning capacities. How sad is a world where financial output weighs more than motherhood or even womanhood.

Today we live in times where women, or for that matter anyone has the right to choose, to be what they want to be. And we should utilise the options we have to the best of our abilities. Not every woman enjoys cooking or taking care of the house, and today they have the option to do something differently. I admire the women who handle both home and work, and come out with flying colours, more power to them, I say. But it is really sad if this leads to demeaning of the women who still love to stay at home, and be a home maker. Every woman, just like every human being has her own inclinations. Not choosing to go out and having a career does not make a woman any less than the one who does. As days pass, I just cannot stop myself from being amazed at my mother, who for all the years I lived with my parents, was a home-maker. I cannot stop feeling the sense of awe at her amazing house keeping skills. The house was forever spic and span, meals were forever ready in time, hot and mouth watering, she was forever hovering over my homework and studies. Honestly I am not half the home maker that she is. And I marvel at her today because I realise today, how tough it is to care for others, more than yourself, and to give them priority. How easy it is to slip up, take a day off and stay in bed, and how difficult it is to get up each day and keep an entire household and all its members up and about and running, and care for them. Its insane, when people look down upon a home-maker. They have no idea what it is like, and how much tougher it is than a regular desk job. This is a job that runs completely on self motivation.

I admire the working woman, as much as I do a good home-maker. What I don't appreciate though is the woman who is good at neither or nothing, and worse still, the one who demeans other women, without having the strength needed to do what they do. I don't believe in doing things half way, I don't believe in giving birth to a child, and dumping them on someone else and run off to enjoy myself, at work or parties or any place else. If I cannot take care of my baby, I would much rather not give birth. And it takes much more than formal education and degrees to make a good mother. It is a 24X7 job, and it is much tougher than the corporate jobs. A woman who does what she wants to, and does it well is appreciable, whether it is something that helps her earn or not and that is what I as a woman respect in any other woman.

I am shocked, to say the least, when I hear women complaining of being the ones who get pregnant, and need to nurse a baby. Isn't giving birth to another human being the most amazing thing a person can do, and women complaint about it? I have a simple thing to say, if you hate the idea so much, why do you get pregnant, did someone hold a gun to your head and impregnate you? It is quite understandable, when it is seen as a personal choice, and I definitely never think a woman is not worth her salt because she did not give birth to a child, and I think it should work vice versa. But to be a mother and bemoan it, is just so unthinkable to me, don't get into it, if you cannot do it, I say, but don't you dare look down upon someone who can be a mother and more,and carry it off with elan.

As long as women themselves don't stop looking down upon their peers, I don't see much hope of true respect coming the way of women. We need to respect ourselves for what we are. We are not men, we are women and proud to be so. We are worthy, we don't need to ape anyone to gain self respect, because we are women who celebrate being a woman. Only when we start loving ourselves as women, and respect other women, and understand our own distinction in our gender, will we really be able to take forward the torch of feminism, and make everyone realise the importance of a woman being a woman. Till then we cannot blame anyone but ourselves for the treatment meted out to women in our own country, because no one will love us, till we learn to love our self, for being us.

PS - This thread of thoughts started with my previous post, then followed onto my post on the other blog, and I came back here to conclude it. In case you find this post alone, unclear, you can follow the thread.

A World Where Mothers Kill Their Babies.

2009-01-12T00:12:00.000-08:00

I read two rather rattling posts today. The one on Unchaahi, is rather emotional and sentimental, it talks of the unpleasant sense of disbelief. While the other one on XX Factor, will shake your very soul with the facts it states. Both of these speak about the discriminating treatment meted out to the female sex in our country and more specifically female infanticide. Do read both the posts, they will shove the reality right into your face.

Infanticide, and a mother killing her own child, really? As a human being primarily and also a mother, I can say that a new born is the most beautiful thing to behold in life. Just holding the small cuddly bundle in one's arms, is enough to melt the stoniest of hearts. When you see an infant, all you feel is a strong gush of love, an intense want to protect and keep safe. A very natural instinct it is I think, something that is hard coded into the human chip. And then to think of a woman killing her own child, its unfathomable, at least for me.

Its a scary world, where parents kill their own babies, innocent, new-born infants at that. I am scared, my heart is chilled with fear, at the thought of what kind of world have I brought my child into. These people are worse than the terrorists who attacked Bombay. The terrorists killed people, under some kind of misguided zeal, but these people they kill their own infant baby for no credible reason. I cannot even express in words the horrendous images forming in my mind as I type this. A new born, helpless and innocent being tortured to death by her own parents, I wish I could just go and hold her in my arms, comfort her and give her my love. Please if anyone is going to kill their little baby, give her to me instead, please please please. I feel guilty of knowing this and not doing anything about it, I feel like a coward.

This is clear cut murder, a genocide, worse than WW-II. And now there is not just that one figure of Adolf Hitler leading the front, it is being led by a huge tyrant army of faceless, nameless, anonymous, ruthless killers. They are the kinds who die, only to be replaced by more of the same, like the demon who sprouted a new head, each time one was slayed. We cannot let this happen, we cannot let small innocent babies die, just because they are female, its inhuman, its demonic.

Are we turning into emotionless, cold, unfeeling , completely inhuman monsters? How else can one explain a mother taking the life of her own child, when a mother is the one who nurtures and protects her babies, till they can hold their own. The ones who give life to the little baby, the ones who create her, ruthlessly suck the life out of her, just because of her gender? The creator becoming the annihilator, it feels like a horror movie, only that this is not, its real. I just cannot grasp it or accept it.

This post might not have a proper flow of thought, but that is because I am supremely disturbed by what I have read, and am just unable to absorb it, and move on. To say I am devastated, would be an understatement.

Criminals for Ministers, As Always!

2009-01-11T10:22:00.000-08:00

What is it with us, and criminals for politicians? I used to think that a stint in jail would disrepute one enough, to ever be able to earn anyone's trust, to so much as even get a decent job. But the rules seem to work in reverse when it comes to the Indian politics.

Sanjay Dutt, should thank his stars, his father and sister for being free today. He should be grateful to be still working in movies. But then a jailbird cannot be happy to be just free, as is the custom in our country now, every term serving criminal steps into politics, and so does he. This man possessed an AK-56 for heaven's sake. He was aware of the 1993 blasts before they happened, but did not inform the police, so that it could be prevented. We are letting someone like that contest for responsibilities, involving the lives of many? Does this man have no shame, no remorse, no conscience?

I believe that every person should be given a second chance. I hope that Sanjay Dutt has put his bad ways behind him and is starting up afresh. He is back into films big time, has even got his own production house now, and that according to me is more than just a second chance. But obviously he does not think that's enough, and wants to now enter politics, in spite of being convicted under TADA at one point of time. Greed and immorality is what I see in this. Total and complete. Come on, you have to have some amount of sense of shame at your deeds Mr. Dutt.

Fortunately for us, the law does not enable him to contest the Lok Sabha elections, based on his current legal position. And we can only thank our lawmakers for that, because in a country where the vote banks can easily be persuaded, and would be rather moved to see a film star requesting for their votes, the law is the only way to stop them. But that is definitely not enough, because we have the great Mr. Amar Singh claiming they would get Mrs. Sanjay Dutt to contest the elections, if not teh man himself. This is a democracy, not a monarchy, where power shifts the hands in a family for heaven's sake. See this video, and hear him claim that Sanjay Dutt should be allowed to contest the elections just because Siddhu has been. And anyways, what credentials do either Sanjay Dutt or his wife posses to be Lok Sabha representatives of a constituency. Moreover, how can they contest from just about anywhere??

Is it not purely pathetic to sit and hear this nonsense, a person claiming someone's (who has a criminal record) right to contest in elections, based on some other person(again with a criminal record) who has done it.Isn't it sad that we the citizens cannot really do anything about it, but just sit and watch. A country where one person with a criminal record makes it into a position of power, and then he is held as a shining example for others to follow, in our faces, openly and blatantly. It is time for some major legal upgrading I think. If legal offenders are the ones sitting positions of power, how far and till where can we expect to take our country? Are we really surprised by our security vulnerabilities the?

Good Use of Tax payer's money makes News.

2009-01-09T02:33:00.000-08:00

'It takes Rs1.7 crore to produce a single MBBS doctor at AIIMS.', claimed a piece of news in the papers today. My reaction is .... so? Whats no news worthy about that? We spend money to make some doctors, and from the best medical institute in the country. Isn't that worth it? That's what the tax payers money is supposed to do isn't it, make the country a better place to live in. Having qualified doctors definitely contributes to that, the way I see it. Especially if it is a country, where no one safeguards against physical safety of its citizens, I am sure each tax payer will be more than happy to pay his bit to make some doctors.

This is what the money is supposed to do right? The money that is poured into government coffers as taxes by the honest citizens. And I am sure we all prefer it being used thus, than to go into the pockets of the politicians and the corrupt bureaucrats.

I Don't Get This

2009-01-07T10:37:00.000-08:00

I don't quite get this. The city of Bombay was held hostage for almost three days by a gang of terrorists. The police managed to capture one of them alive. The entire episode was covered by press from all over the world.So I don't think even eye witnesses are an issue. The captured terrorist has confessed to the crimes, spilled the beans, given out names, details everything. So what is the doubt?

Why is India going around distributing dossiers with details of all the evidence it has gathered? What does the country want? Sympathy? Support?? How spineless have we become as a nation? Why does the country have no morals, no strength, no power in itself? We are not slaves, we don't need to give explanations to anyone, especially not when we are the victims, not the perpetrators. Can India no longer protect its turf, or fight its enemies on its own, does it need approval from other countries? Aren't we an independent nation? We have been hurt and we go around sharing our evidence against our enemies? Why? What for? I just don't get this.

A True Hero

2009-01-06T14:13:00.000-08:00

It is indeed a great human quality to be pro-active, and more so when we live in a highly reactive society. When I read about Tukaram Omble, he seemed absolutely to be a character, who had walked out of the idealistic Hindi movies of the seventies. Idealistic, alert, helpful, dutiful, pro active, not a fame seeker, a doer.

I loved, what I read about him, his taking a personal initiative and helping the people stung by jelly fish in Girgaum Chowpatty. This is a man who took action, took initiative and did things. Its easy to just sit and judge, to say xyz thing needs to be done, but it is not an easy job to actually do the work. How many of us can actually forgo personal glory and just work selflessly? Each one of us who does something nice, enjoys the few words of appreciation, or a little pat on the back. I know I do, and so it is greatly appreciable for me to see a man who did not need that. A man who actually took the bullets to his body, to save his colleagues, and help the country. That is a true leader.

He may have been just an assistant sub inspector, but Tukaram Omble was a leader, a pro-active man who inspires. He does more than his duty, and does it as a part of life. He is not a onetime act brave hero, but a true gentleman, who lived each day doing things that are notable and praiseworthy. That he did not seek recognition, just cements his true emotions and honest deeds. That he did not get recognition, is shameful for the country, for the police force he dedicated his life to, and for the citizens to not have noticed a real gem amongst us. We spoke about the dirty politicians, and their stinking acts, and missed out on this real hero, who deserved a lot more than just our praises.

You can read some more about him here and here, but they both mainly talk about the incidents on the night of 26/11, the day he breathed his last or even look up the facebook page on him, and regret that a man like him was never appreciated or applauded during his life. And let us also realise that there are many others like him out there right now, who are doing their work and some more, with no personal gratification involved. I sometimes wonder if we deserve an amazing person like Omble amongst us. Maybe one of the things eating our country, is also that we are unable to find the real gems that are there amongst us.

I salute Tukaram Omble in my own humble way, and hope to remain inspired by his bravery, and selfless, righteous living. Jai Hind!

Of People who Live With and For Nature.

2009-01-05T08:07:00.000-08:00

A new year, and my first post, so I thought I will keep it positive. I wish I could say that I will keep it that way throughout the year, but I don't think it will be possible. I am not being pessimistic, but just realistic. But as a start to a new year, let me write about something nice, and hope that it continues a long run.

When I was in class three, I studied the story of a clan, which protected their environment with real passion. The story was about an incident where these brave men and women wrapped themselves around the trees surrounding their villages to prevent their felling. They laid down their lives to protect trees, just imagine the strength of their faith and convictions. It was a story that amazed me. Amazed me not only,because this was the first time I was introduced to the concept of environmental protection and nurturing, but because it was unfathomable for me at that time, maybe even now, to imagine people laying down their lives to save their trees.

In the heart of Rajasthan survives a clan called the Bishnois. Bishnoism is a sect of Hinduism, which dates back to 1485AD. The more you read about them, the more pragmatic they seem. This is the kind of religion, which is admirable, because it preaches, love, care and nurturing not just for fellow human beings, but of all living beings. The live in harmony with their surroundings, they nurture life and nature, and thus survive in the harsh desert conditions.

I read a post by the Indian Home Maker, which brought back to me, all the memories I associated with the tale I had studied about them in school. And I knew I had to talk about them, and share with everyone what I knew, and do my little bit to spread the word about these amazing believers. In a world where religion is used blatantly to preach everything cruel and unholy, there exists this sect, which follows a religion that preaches, harmony, love and sacrifice. How many of us would stand up to die to save a fellow human being, let alone a tree?

And out comes the like of a Salman Khan, who makes a mockery of the beliefs and convictions of these wonderful people and hunts for fun in their area. Tons is written about how he suffered in the jail(for a mere two days), how he is not guilty, and he finally comes out of the jail smiling and shining, with more press coverage than ever before. No one looks at how this hurts the sentiments of this clan which believes in preserving its environment and works hard to do it. Wake up people, if you cannot do it yourself, at least have respect for the people who do.

Its a shining beacon of hope in the world which is being ravaged into bits and pieces by the advancing technology, destroying the environment, to have people like these. They may not be educated, may not be rich, may not be possessing the luxuries of life, but they believe in loving and nurturing. They stand up for their correct and positive faith, they inspire us to do better, do more and really truly care for our environment, the nature that nurtures it. I just wish there can be just a little bit of a Bishnoi in each one of us, so that we can hand over to our children a world that is clean, green and less polluted, a world that has still has wildlife and huge trees.

Addendum - This post has been quoted by EVANA on their website.

IT Jobs and Instability

2008-12-29T00:20:00.000-08:00

The IT sector in India seems to have the least job security of all. Any kind of financial upheavals mean huge job cuts in the IT firms, with many people losing their livelihood. It happens every time, all the time, and somehow this sector does not seem to learn any lessons.having been a part of the inner circle, I can confidently say that the IT companies employ much more people than what it really needs.

Though not on the highly paid employee list, I managed to sustain three whole years in a multinational IT firm. I say managed to sustain, because I am just not fit for a corporate job. Coming back to the point though, in those three years, I realised that the firm actually had people who were on bench (meaning - not working on a project, but employed and being paid by the company) for over six months. Many of these people wait, while some quit due to sheer boredom. Though never on bench, I have spent huge stretches of time without any work to do. The longest period that I recall was a forty day period, when I had absolutely no work to do, no trainings to attend, and not even a document to prepare or check. This meant eight whole hours of sitting in my seat each day, with absolutely zero productivity. And I was definitely not the only one. And inspite of that, they were rather reluctant to let go of me, when I quit.

Image obtained from cartoonstock.com

Working from home, is not a concept that India is till date very familiar with. Very few IT companies provide that option, and even if it does, it is meant for a very limited, high profile staff. So we end up having to sit out our eight hours in office even on days when there is absolutely no work, and there are many such days. In a company which employs over five thousand people, if it has even twenty percent of its work force sitting idle, its a complete drain on the companies resources. And this I believe results from lack of good management. Thousands of people are employed, when the company submits its tender for a project, if it loses out, the people still stay, but with no work to occupy them. When it comes to down sizing, the company finds too many people on its payroll, and very little to occupy them with.

I wonder why this state continues after so many jolts the sector has faced. Why the needless employment and then job cuts when lean times hit the market. There are many people who join the IT work force in India for the lure of high pay, foreign assignments, catapulting into the big league, but the sector itself is so badly organised, with no job security and no proper management, that it is like entering a time bomb. To save on taxes with high salaries, people invest, often in property, taking loans, and when they lose their job, its a mess worse than can be imagined.

Till the time the IT management pull up their socks, and actually plan things rather than the take-things-as-they-come attitude they currently display, this sector will remain as vulnerable as ever. Quality and quantity of the work force both need stringent checks in this sector. There needs to be work for every employee, and sufficient work, only then will it be a mutually beneficial relationship. In a sector, where employees and employers change their loyalties each minute, where the worker feels no connection or loyalty for its employer and hops off at every pay increment offered, and where the companies employ way too many people than it really needs, a break down is forever likely to happen. For all the instant money this sector has to offer, it still remains highly unstable and volatile. The slightest fluctuation in the financial markets, creates huge cracks in the IT sector.

While the money and on site assignments are very lucrative, the IT sector still has a long long way to go in terms of offering stability and security.

Jihadis, Really? Or just Barbaric Beasts?

2008-12-28T00:21:00.000-08:00

I saw a piece of news , it was a follow up of the terrible attack on Bombay. It says that the hostages held by the terrorists in the Taj were made to strip, and further humiliated before they were actually killed. The same is said to be true for the Rabbi and his wife who were killed in Nariman House. I remember watching a neighbour of this Jewish couple saying something about them being brutally tortured before death on one of the news channels after these attacks. it did not make sense then, because nowhere else were there mentions of any kind of physical torture. their genitalia had been mutilated, and God knows what else had happened. These being the kind couple who had offered them shelter.

The terrorists kill for what? Every rational being, me included, have been saying that these people do not belong to any religion, and they are nothing but terrorists. But I am starting to doubt that now. Does any religion actually preach torturing innocent people? Does a holy book bid its followers to kill the Innocent common man for no fault of his? Does the religion say that killing is an acceptable act? Does Jihad mean killing people for no possible reason? I don't really know. I have not read the Quran, I have not read it because religion does not interest me, I am not too big on religion, any religion. But if I am constantly being bombarded with news and information where I hear people proclaiming to be doing good for a certain religion be killing innocent masses of people, I will tilt towards believing it.

I am not into religion, it barely interests me, in any form. Spirituality yes, but religion, no not at all. To me religion is a path to reach God, a state of purity. I am guessing all religions aim at getting its followers there. But out come these people who claim to be carrying out demonic acts on the name of Islam time and again. So much, that i finally begin to wonder, whether it really is about Islam. But I cannot bring myself to believe that religion can preach killing, or torture of innocent human beings. Many religions preach opposing oppression, or evil, but killing the innocent is definitely not waging a war against the evil. It is evil itself.

I found this news displayed on a Pakistani site, and the comments are really disgusting. That they are blindly denying their responsibility, is one thing, but to accuse India of giving out wrong information, you have to be really moronic. It is just unbearably tragic to see the innocent people bearing the brunt of reactions of acts of some other people's misdeeds.

Rich and Influential Non Parents.

2008-12-26T23:29:00.000-08:00

With power, comes responsibility, a lesson the rich and influential in India would do well to understand. To them it seems to mean, with power comes free kicks and open right to lawlessness. No one is even surprised to hear of ministers' and bureaucrats' children embroiled in criminal activities. But I don't understand this. As a parent, I would want my child to be the best person he can be, provide him with the maximum guidance and support I can. Isn't it normal, that illiterate parents would want their children to be literate, the poor would want their children to be well off? Then how do the powerful men want their children to actually be bad?

To me parents are the ones who hold the hands of their children and teach them to walk the path of life the right way, with their head held high. But here the situation seems to be reversed.I can to a certain extent understand the pampering-the-child-because-the-parents-have-the-means theory, but to destroy your own child? One would have to be pretty heartless to manage that. I cannot think of anyone in the world who would think of drugs and alcohol(in excess ofcourse) to be good. No normal human being possibly could, but to not only allow, but encourage one's own flesh and blood to do it? Unbelievable. Rahul Mahajan being a case in point. A powerful father, lavishing his son with obscene amount of money, finally leading to a near death situation of the son, due to drug overdose? How can a parent lead a child to such misery? I just don't understand. Are these politicians so convoluted, so mindless, so selfish that they do not care about their own flesh and blood?

The first case of a politician's relative doing misdeeds, that I can recall is that of a French tourist, being molested(or was it raped??) by the grandson of the CM of Punjab. After that there was the Nitish Katara killing by the sons of DP Yadav(MP), Jessica Lall's murder by the Manu Sharma, son of MP Venod Sharma and many more. How do parents lead their children onto become killers, rapists... criminals?

When I was a child, I was studying in one of the rather high profile schools of New Delhi. The alumni and the current crop of students were children of many of the who's who of the national capital. Near the main entry gate of our school was a water cooler. The main gates were locked up tight at night because there was a residential hostel, as well as the Principal's residential quarters. On one of the nights, a group of boys who had passed out from school, dropped in at around three am, drunk and driving, mind you, and demanded that the school gates be unlocked, so that they could get a drink of water from the cooler. The guard was sensible enough to stand his ground and refuse to unlock the gates. He was then threatened, with the names of the perpetrators' father, uncle and all other influential relatives. the next morning the incident was narrated to us by the principal, the guard was applauded, and the act condemned. This is not a huge crime per se, but that was the first time I heard of the tu-janta-hai-main-kaun-hoon(do you know who am I)? syndrome. And it has stayed with me till today.

Things have worsened over time, and somehow the children of the influential and the rich have become a source of terror. These kids take everything for granted, knowing no one can really punish them, if they do something wrong, their parents' money and influence comes into play and they go Scot free. So the regular people like us, try to escape, if these punks try to create trouble for us, because we have taken it for granted, that they can create more trouble than we can deal with, and even standing upto them can have dangerous consequences.

What these parents liken to love and care, is actually a slow poison, that kills every good thing the child has, and takes them on the path of drugs, crime, unhappiness and eventual destruction. It is possibly a case where money and power actually overshadow the parent-child relationship, and kills the parental instinct. Or is it that these people have become so immune to their conscience that their parenting treads the same path? Whatever the reason, it is sad to see parents leading their own children to their downfall.

The Truth about Terror.

2008-12-22T22:39:00.000-08:00

This article has been posted by a fellow blogger,Mad Momma on her blog and is also published in openspace. The author Anand Patwardhan is a documentary film maker. This article has not been published either by Times of India or Hindustan Times. But the truth resonates in it. Please spread it around as much as you can.

TERROR ATTACK ON MUMBAI

Terror: The Aftermath

The attack on Mumbai is over. After the numbing sorrow comes the blame
game and the solutions. Loud voices amplified by saturation TV: Why
don't we amend our Constitution to create new anti-terror laws? Why
don't we arm our police with AK 47s? Why don't we do what Israel did
after Munich or the USA did after 9/11 and hot pursue the enemy?
Solutions that will lead us further into the abyss. For terror is a
self-fulfilling prophecy. It thrives on reaction, polarization,
militarization and the thirst for revenge.

The External Terror

Those who invoke America need only to analyze if its actions after
9/11 increased or decreased global terror. It invaded oil-rich Iraq
fully knowing that Iraq had nothing to do with 9/11, killing over
200,000 Iraqis citizens but allowing a cornered Bin Laden to escape
from Afghanistan. It recruited global support for Islamic militancy,
which began to be seen as a just resistance against American mass
murder. Which begs the question of who created Bin Laden in the first
place, armed the madarsas of Pakistan and rejuvenated the concept of
Islamic jehad? Israel played its own role in stoking the fires of
jehad. The very creation of Israel in 1948 robbed Palestinians of
their land, an act that Mahatma Gandhi to his credit deplored at the
time as an unjust way to redress the wrongs done to Jews during the
Holocaust. What followed has been a slow and continuing attack on the
Palestinian nation. At first Palestinian resistance was led by secular
forces represented by Yasser Arafat but as these were successfully
undermined, Islamic forces took over the mantle. The first, largely
non-violent Intifada was crushed, a second more violent one replaced
it and when all else failed, human bombs appeared.

Thirty years ago when I first went abroad there were two countries my
Indian passport forbade me to visit. One was racist South Africa. The
other was Israel. We were non-aligned and stood for disarmament and
world peace. Today Israel and America are our biggest military allies.
Is it surprising that we are on the jehadi hit list? Israel, America
and other prosperous countries can to an extent protect themselves
against the determined jehadi, but can India put an impenetrable
shield over itself? Remember that when attackers are on a suicide
mission, the strongest shields have crumbled. New York was laid low
not with nuclear weapons but with a pair of box cutters. India is for
many reasons a quintessentially soft target. Our huge population, vast
landmass and coastline are impossible to protect. The rich may build
new barricades. The Taj and the Oberoi can be made safer. So can our
airports and planes. Can our railway stations and trains, bus stops,
busses, markets and lanes do the same?

The Terror Within

The threat of terror in India does not come exclusively from the
outside. Apart from being hugely populated by the poor India is also a
country divided, not just between rich and poor, but by religion,
caste and language. This internal divide is as potent a breeding
ground for terror as jehadi camps abroad. Nor is jehad the copyright
of one religion alone. It can be argued that international causes
apart, India has jehadis that are fully home grown. Perhaps the
earliest famous one was Nathuram Godse who acting at the behest of his
mentor Vinayak Savarkar (still referred to as "Veer" or "brave"
although he refused to own up to his role in the conspiracy), murdered
Mahatma Gandhi for the crime of championing Muslims.

Jump forward to 6th December, 1992, the day Hindu fanatics demolished
the Babri Mosque setting into motion a chain of events that still
wreaks havoc today. From the Bombay riots of 1992 to the bomb blasts
of 1993, the Gujarat pogroms of 2002 and hundreds of smaller deadly
events, the last 16 years have been the bloodiest since Partition.
Action has been followed by reaction in an endless cycle of escalating
retribution. At the core on the Hindu side of terror are organizations
that openly admire Adolph Hitler, nursing the hate of historic wrongs
inflicted by Muslims. Ironically these votaries of Hitler remain
friends and admirers of Israel.

On the Muslim side of terror are scores of disaffected youth, many of
whom have seen their families tortured and killed in more recent
pogroms. Christians too have fallen victim to recent Hindutva terror
but as yet not formed the mechanisms for revenge. Dalits despite
centuries of caste oppression, have not yet retaliated in violence
although a small fraction is being drawn into an armed struggle waged
by Naxalites.

It is clear that no amount of spending on defense, no amount of
patrolling the high seas, no amount of increasing the military and
police and equipping them with the latest weaponry can end the cycle
of violence or place India under a bubble of safety. Just as nuclear
India did not lead to more safety, but only to a nuclear Pakistan, no
amount of homeland security can save us. And inviting Israel's Mossad
and America's CIA/FBI to the security table is like giving the
anti-virus contract to those who spread the virus in the first place.
It can only make us more of a target for the next determined jehadi
attack.

Policing, Justice and the Media

As for draconian anti-terror laws, they too only breed terror as for
the most part they are implemented by a State machinery that has
imbibed majoritarian values. So in Modi's Gujarat after the ethnic
cleansing of Muslims in 2002, despite scores of confessions to rape
and murder captured on hidden camera, virtually no Hindu extremists
were punished while thousands of Muslims rotted in jail under
draconian laws. The same happened in Bombay despite the Shiv Sena
being found guilty by the Justice Shrikrishna Commission. Under
pressure a few cases were finally brought to trial but all escaped
with the lightest of knuckle raps. In stark contrast many Muslims
accused in the 1993 bomb blasts were given death sentences.

The bulk of our media, policing and judicial systems swallows the
canard that Muslims are by nature violent. Removing democratic
safeguards guaranteed by the Constitution can only make this worse.
Every act of wrongful imprisonment and torture that then follows is
likely to turn innocents into material for future terrorists to draw
upon. Already the double standards are visible. While the Students
Islamic Movement of India is banned, Hindutva outfits like the RSS,
the VHP, the Bajrang Dal, and the Shiv Sena remain legal entities. The
leader of the MNS, Raj Thackeray recently openly spread such hatred
that several north Indians were killed by lynch mobs. Amongst these
were the Dube brothers, doctors from Kalyan who treated the poor for a
grand fee of Rs.10 per patient. Raj Thackeray like his uncle Bal
before him, remains free after issuing public threats that Bombay
would burn if anyone had the guts to arrest him. Modi remains free
despite the pogroms of Gujarat. Congress party murderers of Sikhs in
1984 remain free. Justice in India is clearly not there for all.
Increasing the powers of the police cannot solve this problem. Only
honest and unbiased implementation of laws that exist, can.

It is a tragedy of the highest proportions that one such honest
policeman, Anti-Terrorist Squad chief Hemant Karkare, who had begun to
unravel the thread of Hindutva terror was himself gunned down, perhaps
by Muslim terror. It is reported that Col. Purohit and fellow Hindutva
conspirators now in judicial custody, celebrated the news of Karkare's
death. Until Karkare took charge, the Malegaon bomb blasts in which
Muslims were killed and the Samjhauta Express blasts in which
Pakistani visitors to India were killed were being blamed on Muslims.
Karkare exposed a hitherto unknown Hindutva outfit as masterminding a
series of killer blasts across the country. For his pains Karkare came
under vicious attack not just from militant Hindutva but from the
mainstream BJP. He was under tremendous pressure to prove his
patriotism. Was it this that led this senior officer to don helmet and
ill-fitting bullet proof vest and rush into battle with a pistol? Or
was it just his natural instinct, the same courage that had led him
against all odds, to expose Hindutva terror?

Whatever it was, it only underlines the fact that jehadis of all kinds
are actually allies of each other. So Bin Laden served George Bush and
vice-versa. So Islamic and Hindutva jehadis have served each other for
years. Do they care who dies? Of the 200 people killed in the last few
days by Islamic jehadis, a high number were Muslims. Many were waiting
to board trains to celebrate Eid in their hometowns in UP and Bihar,
when their co-religionists gunned them down. Shockingly the media has
not commented on this, nor focused on the tragedy at the railway
station, choosing to concentrate on tragedies that befell the
well-to-do. And it is the media that is leading the charge to turn us
into a war-mongering police state where we may lead lives with an
illusion of safety, but with the certainty of joylessness.

I am not arguing that we do not need efficient security at public
places and at vulnerable sites. But real security will only come when
it is accompanied by real justice, when the principles of democracy
are implemented in every part of the country, when the legitimate
grievances of people are not crushed, when the arms race is replaced
by a race for decency and humanity, when our children grow up in an
atmosphere where religious faith is put to the test of reason. Until
such time we will remain at the mercy of "patriots" and zealots.

Anand Patwardhan
November 2008

Speak in One Voice

2008-12-18T03:33:00.001-08:00

I have written about this before, and I am writing about it, yet again, because it never ceases to dishearten me. It is the absence of a common language for communication in India, an Indian language. Long ago, there was a slogan for India, which said Unity in Diversity. Now I think it is just Diversity with no Unity. There are so many beautiful languages in the country, but not one language is known by all its citizen. Why?

It is really sad, when I sit in a foreign country, and the only language I can use to communicate with some fellow Indians is English. I have nothing against English, nor against the people personally, but it is just the state of things that make me sad. People fight within their own states to use only the local language of the state, and as a result we have not one common language to interact in except for English, sometimes not even that.

How do we unite, if we cannot even share our thoughts, we don't posses so much as a common means of expression. I have pushed Hindi, and will continue to do so as the national language of the country. If people have issues, let them. It is not my mother tongue, but I know it, and know it well, and also Hindi, or its various dialects are spoken by a majority of Indians. So I think its high time that the few who don't know it, make some efforts to learn the language. Learning a language does not make anyone small, it is a way of connecting to your own country, becoming more proficient in understanding and exchanging ideas. In a time when we stand to face terror threats to our country, does such meaningless rigidity and biased bickering not oppose our own cause?

The other day one of my neighbours paid me a visit, and we were sitting around chatting, when I said a couple of Hindi words, and drew a complete blank from her. I did not quite get it, till I realised that it was the Hindi she did not get, I switched gears to English immediately, and that was it. It felt bad, because Hindi is not a language that runs in my family either, but I know it, it is not the mother tongue of my husband either. But we both know it, and can converse fluently in it. We know it because its a common language that binds most of India together, and if we know it, why don't the many others? Why can they not take such a little bit of effort to unite?

Why do we bicker and fight and hurt our own selves, when just a little bit of effort is all that we need to unite. Back in school, we had once had T.N.Seshan as the chief guest in our school morning assembly on the day before the 15th of August. The skies were overcast, and when he took the mike, he said, "If it starts to rain during my speech, do not leave and go. What can you do for the country, if you cannot even get wet?". The words remain with me more than a decade later, and I am sure it remains with all the five thousand students who stood there that morning, and cheered. These are the tiniest little things that we can do, the power of which is immense in binding us to each other. Understanding and being able to have basic communication in a language is one of the smallest things we can do. But we don't, instead we fight, we resent. We let the evil politicians, get the better of us. How can knowing a language be harmful in anyway?

Wake up my fellow country men, bond, and fight together, as one against the real enemy. Embrace a language as your own, as one of the entire nation. Show the people who try to divide us, in this small but significant step, that we are together, we stand together, UNITED.

Apathy Good-Bye

2008-12-14T23:19:00.000-08:00

Apathy, an emotion or probably the lack of one, which most people adapt to, as a form of self preservation of kinds. It is easier to live life, if we ignore the plight that is not ours, we can remain happy, as long as it is just about ourselves. And in a world which is so full of pain and agony, this is possibly an evolutionary requirement, apathy. But like everything in the world, too much of anything is not good. Complete apathy, is a scary and frightening situation.

It has been a long time now that we have shut ourselves up and gone on with our lives, as long as the things did not personally hurt us. Some of us are still lucky to be surviving unscathed from the fury and hate, but for how long and till when. The more we take, the more we are dished out. Things which start out small, become big, they grow and we then face the snow ball effect. The last time in living memory, that there has been any kind of uprising against injustice, is the Mandal Commission agitation. Students actually stood up and raised their voice, unfortunately, though a lot of precious lives were lost, and the quota did come into effect a few years down the line, after the situation had cooled down. This was an act of blatantly favouring the vote banks against the greater good. People raised their voices, and reacted, but the heat cooled off, and things continued as planned, and the increased quota was brought into effect. And no one did anything.

The state of affairs in the country is a result of years of apathy, apathy from people like you and me. We do not know our rights well, we don't mind paying a little bit of bribe if our work gets done, we live our lives in cushy comfort, trying to block out the world outside. How long and how far could the country go this way? Somewhere the breaking point would be reached and the entire system will melt down. We look up when big events like the Bombay attacks happen, and point fingers, not ever realising that it is actually the result of many years of our own wrong doings that have led to this situation.

When I say we don't know our rights, I really mean it. Do you know that if an accident victim is admitted to the hospital by someone, the police does not have the authority to ask for the person's details. Yes, we can take an injured person to the hospital and leave without giving any of our details, not even out name. A lot of the times people do not care to help because of the fear of retribution of some kind, but what if no one even found out who we were. There are loads of things like this, even I am not aware of it all, but we need to know, we must know our rights. It would be wonderful if schools, started to impart this kind of information as part of the curriculum, Our Rights, Duties and Laws, as the citizens of India. It is imperative knowledge, we all need to be aware of such things. Its only after a mail started doing the rounds, did I find out that after sunset and before sunrise, a woman cannot be arrested by male police officers in the absence of a female officer, and the male officers cannot have physical contact of any kind with the captive, which means they cannot even push, pull or drag. So if we say that the policemen are abusive or misuse their power, it is because we let them, due to our ignorance.(Things seemed to have changed now, with the courts ruling in favour of arresting women in the absence of female officers.) So we are as much to blame as are the ones who do the bad deeds. If you want to, you can read the Indian Constitution here, the link was left by someone in one of my earlier posts.

We pay bribe, yes we all do, and without fail, I can point a finger at each one of us who pays the extra bit to get the work done. Don't do it. I promise you I will not, starting today. Each one of us has to do this. It will not happen over night, but it will, and we have to be on the right side of things. Bribes are paid to the traffic havaldar, the peon in the government office, the clerk who holds our file. We have to stop. Our work might get delayed, we may have to suffer some inconvenience, but is it not worth the effort, for a better tomorrow, a bright India for our children? If there are no bribes, the unscrupulous would not gravitate towards government job, and we would have a better and efficient workforce there.

There are a million things against us now, and the only way it can be set right is by our own efforts. Its time to get proactive and not reactive. Reactiveness will only have a cascading effect on us. If we are alert, honest, active, we can make things fall in place, and most importantly we as people need to be united. We cannot , simply cannot break the unity and give in for a small personal benefit. Because when you do that, and continue to bribe, you travel along cratered roads too, face power-cuts, water shortages and remain unsafe always. Its not just about the small petty benefits , but also about a better standard of living, about walking down they roads and feeling happy looking around, not living in an expensive high rise and looking at slums all around. Accusing others of wrong doing is no use, it has to be an effort from us, we need to give the best to get the best.

Premio Dardos

2008-12-09T07:26:00.000-08:00

Shalom from the Red Moonrise read this blog and deemed it worthy of being bestowed with this an award called the Premio Dardos. Her blog says this award is bestowed with the purpose of "acknowledging the values that every blogger shows in his/her effort to transmit cultural, ethical, literary and personal values every day.". Thank you Shalom, for deeming this blog worthy of such acknowledgment and appreciation.

And there are the bloggers I read, who I think are truly deserving of this honour, and I wish to pass it onto them, as a small token of my admiration of their efforts.

Reflections - I love the sense of humour and honesty this blog has.

D - She feels deeply, and cares about things. She speaks up for what she thinks is wrong. Her writing is beautiful, just like her.

Chandni - A girl with loads of compassion and passion.

The Mad Momma - She cares, she is outraged by the wrongs around her, no matter how miniscule, because they do matter. She is extremely open and honest.

Calcutta Chromosome - Through his posts, he brings about a sense of awe, at his wit, his writing style and his unique viewpoint.

Mamma Mia - She writes with her heart, as a mother and as a person.

Gouri Dange - This lady knows her mind and has no issues with calling a spade a spade. She speaks what we all think.

Jira - I like her blog, because she finds meaning and beauty in the smallest things in life.

No rules as such to this award, feel free to bestow it on any blog you feel deserves it, and link them up. And a small request, please do display it on your blog.

Gratifyingly Delightful

2008-12-05T04:02:00.000-08:00

.....is it, to be appreciated by fellow bloggers.

Reflections, who looks at the smallest things in life from such a witty perspective and D, whose writing is sheer poetry have chronologically over the past few days bestowed me with the 'Butterfly Award'. Had it not been for the attack on Bombay, this post would have been done long back. I am ecstatic, because this is my very first award, and more so at being awarded by two of my most favourite bloggers. Both would have definitely been on my list of awardees, had they not been the ones who gave it to me.

The Rules of the award -

1. Put the logo on my blog.
2. Add a link to the person who awarded you.
3. Nominate 10 other blogs.
4. Add links to those blogs on your post

5. Leave a message for your nominees on their blogs.

I pass on this award to -

The Quirky Quill - Her blog posts are usually hilarious, and always witty.
Bohemian Rhapsody - She has the cutest incidents to report, and a great sense of conviction and passion about things that matter.
Random Thoughts - Its a blog with sense, care, compassion and passion.
Twisted DNA - Humour, wit and laughter, that is what this blog is all about.
Thirtysix and Counting - Chic, sassy and sarcastic humour, it keeps me glued.
Boos' Baby Talk - A mommy blogger, with an amazing sense of humour.
The Brat, The Bean and Bedlam - A blogger, who is a mother, and a lot more. She is the most arduous and regular blogger around.
Unchaahi - Simply because this blog speaks passionately for a cause.
Random Harvest - A blogger, who knows her mind and speaks it.
Color Me Turmeric - A sight for sore eyes, simply beautiful.

Addendum - Spontaneous Mini has also re-awarded me with the Butterfly award.

And Now We Fight.

2008-12-03T12:15:00.000-08:00

Now the attacks are over, the terrorists are dead or in captivity, and life, well mostly it is going on. But to leave it all behind and just move on blindly will be a grave mistake I think. There have been umpteen terrorist attacks in the country this year, and we are pretty much sitting and twiddling our thumbs, while this nonsense continues. We need to look at things we can do, things that are within our grasp as the lay common man.

It is really disheartening to see that the NSG commandos had to arrive in BEST buses at the Taj President to combat the terrorists. It was worse to see them take nearly three days to actually overpower the terrorists. If the official figures are to be believed and there were just four in the Taj, two at Nariman House and two at the Oberoi Trident, then indeed its shameful to the pride of my country to know that it took as long by such a huge number of commandos, policemen, Marcos, army men to overpower just these. I am sure they are well trained and equipped to handle such situations, so was there an issue between the various agencies there? I would not rule out the possibility. In no way do I think of our brave soldiers as any less valiant, but the strategists are what I am confused about. Was there a lack of proper planning, a proper attack plan? Maybe not because there were so many guests/ hostages at stake. But it is really discouraging for the average citizen to see such a slow and late response to the terrorist attacks, especially when the brave men were prepared to actually stand up and face the militants, the infrastructure, the planners, the logistics let them down, delaying them and causing heinous loss to precious lives. Indeed it is sad, and quite shocking when said in context of such a grave situation.

The politicians are off to being their filthy selves again, passing the blame onto everyone else, and never ever taking responsibility. Vilasrao Deshmukh ofcourse took the cake with the wonderful touring of the mangled Taj with his filmstar son, and the son's director friend. And no matter how much Ram Gopal Verma says, he was just there, we all know it is b******t. Would you or I have been allowed to look around, when the CM was around? The politicians are scum, we know it, as do they, but can they not have some respect for all the people who have died, the brave soldiers who laid down their lives to save their unworthy one? Its shockingly shameful, because these are the very people we elect to take care of us, protect us. And let me clearly add, they are not leaders, but just public servants. They eat our money, and show their true colours once in the office. R.R. Patil ofcourse had great quotes to offer, wonder how it would have been if his family had been among the victims in this attack. Its these people with such lackadaisical attitudes that kill the citizens of India,when they call such a massacre, just an incident. These people need to have their face blackened, and publicly whipped and stoned. The political parties, cannot show unity even in the face of such disaster, and they want us to elect them to be our government? The new ad by the Rajasthan CM is so pathetic, with her blaming the Congress for the terror attacks. Gaining political mileage out of such a sad situation, that's what these people do. They are politicians,nothing is sacred to them, and they will milk anything they can to get their own interests served. I don't really believe that the things would have been much different had it been any other party in power at the moment. I would not even be surprised, if we find out that some politician actually aided the terrorist, after all we have someone like Narendra Modi in power in this country. He is a terrorist too, and have no doubt about that. I had friends who were living in Gujarat at the time of the Godhra incident, and it was a well known fact that the police were ordered to not 'interfere', if Muslims were being attacked. Yes, he is a terrorist, and he is in position of power unfortunately. He plays dirty, communal politics, and wages the terror war too. I equate a Narendra Modi and his like to any other terrorist, and possibly worse, because a terrorist is openly hostile, while these dirty creatures, pretend to be good guys. At the end of the day I think politicians are as bad as the terrorists themselves.

When there are terrorists, there is no religion, no community. And we would be fools to label them as such. These are not normal human beings, their souls are too distorted and mutilated for them to be human beings. Its sad that there are films glorifying terrorists and other criminals, because no matter what no one can be excused for killing another human being, unless its for self defence. No it is not done, no matter what the reason. The two terrorists who were at Nariman house, had lived there on the pretense of being students, had taken advantage of the hospitality of the kind Rabbi and his wife, only to render their child an orphan a few months later. Namakharam!!People who are righteous(as the terrorists claim to be) do not pretend or lie. If it is revenge, or an act of passion, it is not planned nor is it acted out in cowardice. A man who is convinced of his acts, does not lie, like these two terrorists who spoke to a new channel when the attack was underway, and lied about everything, from their origin, to their numbers, and all else.(I really don't understand why the channel actually aired this nonsense, accompanied by with their pathetic style of journalism.)If they are so to say, brave men, let them fight a war with the armed and equipped defence forces. But no, they are cowards, who will attack unarmed, helpless, innocent people. The terrorists are demons, they are pure evil, they belong to no religion, no community, they are just forms of the devil. Please stop associating these people with any community, because they belong to none. They are killers, mass murderers and that is the only identity they have. And we need to fight them as such. When we give them communal identities, we further their cause, rather than kill it.

We cannot wait for the government or its agencies to get up and help us. We have to take the steps ourselves. When we Indians, think of the government, it is as a synonym for corruption and inefficiency. Right from the top brass to the clerks and peons in government offices. Corruption and inefficiency is what defines them. It has been this way for so long now, that we have forgotten to even realise that this is not acceptable, it is wrong. I can recount a million tales of blatant corruption here, but there is just no sense in that, because I am sure you will have a million more to recount. We all know what it is like, and how it is. We need to regain the awareness that corruption and the government cannot be synonymous, they cannot go hand-in-hand. We have to be stern and strict about that. We can no longer fear the policemen when we see them on the streets and shut up our mouths when we see them take things from the shops without paying.We have to speak up, and we all have to do that. When I was doing my Diwali shopping this year, and there were loads of hawkers on the streets selling their wares, a policeman(in plainclothes) just came by, yelled at the hawker we were buying from, picked up a couple of her things and walked away, as if that was her punishment. I ran behind him, and got the things back, I told him I wanted to buy those things. If I hadn't he would have just taken them home, because cherap diyas and rangoli colours are of hardly any use in the police station. There are two things I wish to point out here. One, I would have been a little indulgent at this act of misusing his power, if he actually would do his duties well, provide me with real protection from the bad guys, and not harass me. But the thing is if he had been doing all of those things, he would not really steal, would he? If it is really illegal for those hawkers to sit on the streets, remove them, don't steal from them. Second, it was the reaction of my mother-in-law later that shook me up. I had just instinctively handed over my child to her, and ran behind the policeman,when I returned, she was almost trembling. Her face was pale and scared. She made me promise I would never do such a thing again. She was scared because in our country, we cannot even have faith in the people who are supposed to protect us, to actually not harm us instead. Because here policemen rape and kill at will. We have to oppose this, we cannot say.... chalta hai(its ok).The Mad Momma has pledged to not take the easy way out in the future,and we all need to do it. No paying the bribe to the clerk, to get a telephone connection fast, no bribing the traffic havaldar if we are at fault, we have to stop, ourselves, to make them stop. And whenever possible, whenever we are asked for a bribe, remind them of things that make them inefficient, gently, and then ask them how can they have the face to ask for money. Gandhigiri, yes try that, but let us do it, let us not remain complacent and let things happen to us. We have to do it.

A fellow mommy blogger has come up with some concrete steps too. And I really like them, because we have to start from the beginning, wash off all the dirty stereotypes, and misconceptions from our hearts and minds, and start afresh, and what better place for that than the children. We need to instill in them a prejudice free mind, where there is no judgement, no labelling, where humanity is prime. We have to not let them tread on a path which says 'XYZ community is bad'. Let the labeling, if any be based individually, on a person based on his deeds, not those of others. The schools, the teachers have a great role to play here. They can instill the right morals, the right values, a love for mankind, a prejudice free outlook, a real understanding of what is right and what is wrong.

It is high time we took things in our own hand, start out on our own, we cannot depend on anyone else. We as people, as human beings, not only in India, but all over the world, need to unite and fight these goons. We have to stop bickering, we have to stop being brainwashed by politicians with vested interests, we have to be more tolerant, we have to remove our prejudices and fight the terrorists. That is how we will fight, by uniting, and staying strong. Not letting the politicians or the goons divide us. We have to stand together and tell them that they cannot divide us, that we are all bound together by humanity, a force far greater than all others. It is high time now, that we realise the need for a change, a change that starts right from us, and changes the whole world. We cannot wait for someone else to do it anymore, we have to be the change.

A Small Homage

2008-12-02T23:46:00.000-08:00

When the people on Indian soil were under threat, there were men who stood up to shield the people from the bullets of the militants. These were brave men, brave, strong men who went up there to fight those cowardly goons, ready to give up their lives to save ours. Some of them lost their precious lives, extremely precious, in a world where people are so self absorbed that it is a rarity to find men who would willingly step into the line of fire to protect others. I salute these bravehearts in my small, puny, almost insignificant way, pay my homage and respects to these wonderfully brave men. They did in flesh and blood what we pay to see heroes in movies do, actually fight the evil and take the bullets to save the innocent people.

Major Sandeep Unnikrishnan

Hemant Karkare

Vijay Salaskar

Ashok Kamte

Gajender Singh

I bow my head in your honour, and pray for the restful peace of your souls. You have even in your death stood up and fought for the weaker, protecting them and nurturing their lives.

Salute!

This homage also goes to the other security men who lost their lives, but did not get much of a mention. And to the fire fighters, who without any protection for themselves, went about their duties and saved many a lives from burning to death.

I am proud to be a part of the same nation which is the motherland of brave men like these, and all the other forces that fought hard to save as many innocent lives as they could.

After the Action of War

2008-11-30T03:10:00.000-08:00

.............. there are spoils to be divided.

Yes, this is war and let there be no illusions about that. Its a war between followers of a cult called terrorism, and everyone else. And then there are the middle men, who go by the call of politicians. These people don't care, for them self service comes ahead of all else. They do not heed for warnings when they come in, they do not care if a million innocent lives are lost in return. When a huge attack takes place, the only fear is their political power being lost, their reputation being tarnished. A hard hitting post on this blatant shamelessness has been written by Shruti Gupta.

This is now a great time for image building for these dirty politicians. Look at the opportunistic Narendra Modi for instance running in with money in hand, to distribute. If his intentions are non selfish, does he need to himself run to Bombay? Isn't this is a great opportunity for good publicity. Utilising people's grief for personal gain. Hail Mrs. Karkare for refusing his monetary aid, stinking of self gain.

Then ofcourse there is the typical saving face by the ones in power, trying to make themselves look better. The post of Home Minister was up for grabs, since Shivraj Patil had to take the axe. The Maharashtra CM is grabbing on tight to his seat, praying no one asks him to vacate. He should have behaved better in that case, rather than taking people from the Film Industry, namely Ram Gopal Varma & son, Ritesh Deshmukh on his tour of the affected sites. What kind of obscene show of an uncaring attitude is that? He is the CM, he has power, and so he takes with him his personal friends, who want a tour? What business does the CM's son, who has no affiliation with the government and a film-maker have at the attack sites, what use are they? This is really pathetic Mr, Deshmukh. Do you even care that people have died, gone forever, leaving behind bereaved loved ones, as long as you and your pathetic bunch are safe in your homes. Are you making a mockery of people's sorrow? Shame on you.

What do these people do, they are the ones we have voted to power, so that they can actually do good to the country. And they cannot even provide us with safety, protection, you make a mockery of the lives lost, the brave deeds of the security personnel, of the entire sorry state of being, for which you primarily are responsible, being unable to protect the people.

Proper infrastructure, and tools are not provided to the security agencies to act in time, to strike hard. The government representative, actually said that the delay in response is normal. Really? Would it be normal if it was your family under the terrorists' guns Mr.Kumawat? Would you still call it a normal process delay? I wonder if Mr. Modi has so much of money to spare, why does that money not get used to improve our defences? We are not strong enough to overpower ten terrorists in less than 59 hours really? Is that how weak our security agencies are?

I hold the politicians, equally responsible as the terror organisations, because we expect terrorists to do what they do, but these people are supposed to be our leaders, they are meant to protect us, take care of us, and they sit around twiddling their thumbs, while people like you and me die. The politicians are worse than the slimy worms which exist in gutters, so strongly do they reek of selfishness and insensitivity.

The Macabre Strike and the Varied Reactions.

2008-11-29T12:38:00.000-08:00

The entire three day brutalities, the terrible ordeal of Bombay, hangs heavy on my heart. I can snap out of it and go about life as usual, but feel terribly guilty about even the thought of it. I sit here miles away from the city I love the most, and feel a pain that's almost physical in magnitude. Various people I interact with have varying reactions, and that's what makes me realise, its not as big a shock to everyone, as it is to me.

A friend from the bloggersville seemed equally distraught,when I caught up with her on a messenger. Almost every blog I follow has posts on this issue, even those which are usually in the lighter,happier vein, always putting a smile on the faces of the readers. Shobha De has written a number of posts on this episode already. And most of the fellow bloggers seem deeply concerned about the whole issue. The husband, tries to feign normalcy, but he feels low, and claims there is depression in the entire house. He has banned turning on the news channels now, just to stay away and not get completely morose. A friend who is in the US, felt guilty of being away and not really being there to help, to bring about change, to be of positive consequence.Most of the people have messages on facebook condemning the acts, expressing their grief, their shock and horror at the episode. Though not everyone is from Bombay, the feeling of being violated is uniformly strong across all, showing that we are all Indians, all human, and that is what the attacks have been against, human lives and the Indian soil.

But then I also see people going about life as usual. There are a few in the city under siege itself, who are up and about doing their regular things, and even enjoying the weekend, with partying, drinks, shopping and some more. A relative who stays in south Bombay was bored to death at home, so stepped out for a walk on the deserted streets. The status messages on facebook take the cake however, and I am talking about people who are present on Indian soil. A few examples ....

watching a movie! Have fun, hope it gives you lots of laughs.
smacking her lips after a bite of dark chocolate taken with an impotent mix of O.Monk in Red Bull. Very nice, what are you celebrating??
has in-laws visiting...for the entire weekend...ahem... God, isn't that awful??
Chilling out in India - AMCHI MUMBAI. I am sure you are, such happy times!!

I really have no words after these, because we live in a country where the citizens live nonchalantly. The biggest terror attack on India, and as long as it does not bite their own butt , they hardly care. Have some empathy, for your own country people, its brave soldiers, the innocent victims, the precious lives lost, the families destroyed. If the common man himself is becoming so selfish, so warped, that he cannot look beyond his own pitiful existence, how easy is it for people to tempt them with selfish gains and tear the country apart. Does one not realise how insignificant such petty things are compared to the great losses suffered in this senseless blood bath.

I feel ashamed, because even in face of such calamity, there is indifference, apathy and unconcern in the people of this very country. What can we even say about the foes, when friends are such.

Valourless Soldiers.

2008-11-29T01:00:00.000-08:00

The little men of the Thakrey clan,
Sat and crapped in their pants,
While Bombay was stabbed with elan,
They shrunk out of sight like ants.

They have no spine,
Nor true courage,
They can only whine,
And never face any barrage.

Tail between their legs,
Faces hidden in veils,
They down their pegs,
And drown out the wails.

These are men of the basest kinds,
No love, no care and no bloody grit,
Possessors of the dirtiest minds,
The gutter is where they perfectly fit.

Where were these self proclaimed soldiers,
When there was real danger,
As usual saving their own dirty arse,
A process to which they are no stranger.

There were no outcries against the language of official statements,
Nor were there any violent attacks launched on the militants,
You are bullies, who can only charge on the helpless,
And never show true courage, because you are useless.

I call you on your face this time,
Your souls are caked with selfish grime,
Swine, coward & filthy goon,
You will get your dues someday soon.

Anyone who reads this, please feel free to spread it around. I wish through some chain, it reaches the pathetic men this is about.

And Still no End in Sight

2008-11-28T00:54:00.000-08:00

I have always thought that agony is a matter of a few minutes, the recovery following that should be in comfort. Like if I have been drowning, I should be dry, warmly dressed and in a nice comfortable bed while recovering. So basically, its important that we recover in comfort after the short period of agony. The real torture is when the agony does not end, and we are kept in the uncomfortable situation waiting endlessly for the healing to begin.

Since the attack on Bombay started, I have been waiting for it to end, to finally feel the time to recover has begun, but till now, I am waiting. Its unimaginable, this long stretched out fight. I completely understand the limitations of the security personnel, who want to safeguard the lives of the innocent people caught in between, and there is not other way to it. In some sadistic way I think a bomb blast is better, because its sudden, it happens and gets over, its like being shot, one nice clean shot and I am dead, but this prolonged agony is much worse. Its like I am being sliced and diced in pieces at a very very slow pace. And if this is what I feel, I can not even dare to imagine how it must be for the hostages. My heart bleeds for the woman stuck with a six month old baby, and no food and no guarantee of when the ordeal will get over.

I have been watching the news channels non-stop from the time I woke up in the morning, till the time my husband came back home, saw me in a terrible state, switched off the TV, and forced me out of the house. Came back home and saw that the battle still continues. Its less agonising in case of a real war, because there are no innocent victims, caught in the cross fire. We have trained soldiers, standing up and giving it their best shot. Here it is scarier, no information, no surety and so many helpless beings at the mercy of crazed, machine gun totting militants. I can just imagine the pressures on the security personnel, to stay calm and act slowly with full precautions, while they would probably be really wanting to just clobber up those cowardly, misguided, inhuman terrorists.

This long stretched out actions is more agonising than any other I think. I just hope that before the new sun rises, this entire sorry episode reaches its logical conclusion, and then the people masterminding this gruesome act are brought to stern justice, with no President's pardons or long stretched out judicial proceedings involved.

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Also I am wondering what happened to the great MNS and Shiv Sena. These people were so keen on throwing out all the non-residents from the state, they had monopoly over all kinds of violence in Bombay, so how come they have shut the f@#k up now, and are hiding under the covers? How come the two sena(army) groups have no courage or face to show now? Let them prove their mettle and do something about the real baddies. But then how can we expect anything from bullies? That is precisely what they are isn't it, big fat cowards, who always operate in gangs, and can only show might against a weaker, smaller opponent. Suddenly they seem to feel no need to protect their beloved Mumbai? Hello 'sainiks' hiding behind your mothers and sisters are you now??

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My husband has a Pakistani colleague, F in his office. His company employs people from various nationalities, though the husband's department has a majority of Indian nationals. F spent the day trying to be invisible in office. A lot of people may say, he deserves that, and after now, even I am not so sure if he can really be trusted, but a little bit of me felt bad, because he has to face the brunt for what he has no hand in, and no dealings with. He has to keep his head down in shame, because his fellow countrymen are doing unspeakable deeds.

Where Happiness is a Crime

2008-11-26T23:13:00.001-08:00

Yesterday night I planned to write two rather happy posts on both my blogs, an award for my blog and a fun day with my son it had been. But there was nothing at all to write finally last night, I was so numbed. The cousin was on a flight to Bombay, her first trip home from the hostel. I was on my way back home around 10pm, when she called, from the Dubai airport, and that was my first piece of information. Came home, watched the news, was shocked, could not believe it was this bad, not a couple of blasts, but a huge operation with shoot outs and hostages. Its now 11:20 am today morning and the agony still continues. There are people trapped inside the Taj, Colaba, The Trident hotel and the Nariman House, held hostages by some demons who roam the earth in human garb.

I have always championed, non stereo-typing, not discriminating against people, but now I am not so sure. I don't know if this is just an initial response in anger, or whether it is the rooting of strong dislike for Muslims for life. I hate you bloody demons, for affecting my view of the world, I hate you for existing. It is an insult to me and all other humans to call you a part of us. These are creatures, creatures of the evilest kind.

People are dead, yes, the statistic as of now says 100. And imagine one, just one of them being a loved one, the statistic of 100 would then seem to enormous to even believe. The total toll of casualties is close to a thousand. A thousand innocent people's, including three brave police officers, who have lost their lives fighting, lives have changed forever, some are dead, and the rest will live with the terror all their lives.

And so once again the napunsak(for the lack of an equally horrendous word in English) government is showing...... well its impotency. So many attacks and those political bastards, sit twiddling thumbs, strategising to stay in power to suck some more blood out of the average citizen. Levy heavy taxes on them, give them bad roads, terrible infrastructure, and to top it all, provide them with no security, hand them over in a platter to demons to be ripped apart.

The government and the terrorists are equally responsible for such situations. Not one less than the other. Today they sit in their plush offices, worrying only to save their own sorry arse, planning strategies , to continue to stay in power, not to curb such ghastly terror attacks. I wonder what we are waiting for, how much will we take?

Happiness is short lived, when you belong to a country, where safety is not assured. We cannot dare be happy, when at any moment gruesome killings can sprout up. Still waiting for the entire thing to end, and I pray for the people who are held hostages, and hope there are no more innocent lives lost, while a mother, with a six month old baby struggles to arrange for food for her baby, sitting holed up in the Trident. Is there a God I ask.

It is None of Your Business......

2008-11-24T16:01:00.000-08:00

knowing or judging people based on their sexual preference.

I first read the word lesbian in a sport's magazine, doing an episodic feature on woman's tennis in my early teens. I did not know what the word meant, and it was repeated a number of times in relation with Martina Navratilova and Billie Jean King. I found out what it meant, by asking friends, the usual way of discovering all such things in my life, since I am almost allergic to the dictionary. I found out and felt informed, and that was all. It did not shock me or appall me in any way at that point of time. A couple of girls rued over the fact that George Michael was gay, and it was hot news that Tom Cruise is probably one too. And it was all fun and frolic in the teenage years.

These were celebrities people knew about, and spoke about, and those were the only people I knew as being homosexuals. Never in my life was I overly curious or concerned about it. I have never known a gay person, personally, atleast not one who has openly claimed to be one, and I don't understand what the great deal would have been, had I known one. At one point of time, I wanted to have a few gay friends, because they are said to make great pals, and I really loved the guy who was friends with Carrie & Gang in Sex and the City. But no luck there! I have met just one man who is openly gay, I was all excited about meeting him, but guess what, he was just like any other person, rather nice and polite may I add. Had I not been pre-informed that he was gay, I would not have guessed either.

Being gay means having sexual/love interests in people of the same sex. So what is the big deal about that I wonder? Why do so many people have an issue with that, why are they looked at differently? A person's love or sexual interest is completely their personal choice, and none of anybody's business, unless you are asked to be a partner. Homosexuality has existed since ancient times, I have seen proof in the carvings on the Khajuraho temples and you can see it here. Proof enough that it is not a result of current trend or lifestyles, but has been a natural part of mankind since the very beginning, if ever that was the concern. Then why do some people end up making such a big deal of noise about it? Why do gays around the world have to struggle for acceptance, why do some of them never dare to acknowledge their preference? Why do we judge them so harshly, what is the issue?

I just don't understand the bias people hold against the gays, or their open intolerance and criticism of them. Why, what is so different, they are people just like everyone else, and their choice of loving being different does not make them an aberration . A man and woman are different, and so are gay and straight people, what is the fuss all about then? Why is there stigma associated to being homosexual? Its a personal choice, and extremely private one at that, how horrible is it to be publicly censured for that? What is a third person's business? If I am having a relationship with someone , same sex or not, it has nothing to do with anyone else, and let them stay the hell away from me, if they have issues, is the way I think. I can understand intrigue, since it is something different, but objections, how can one object to something, that has nothing to do with them?

If it has health risks, the people involved are adults and aware of the issues, they know how to deal with it and even if they don't, it does not give anyone the right to judge them. As long as there is no abuse, or forceful behaviour involved, people should damn well mind their own business. Some claim they are against homosexuality, because they don't want their children to be influenced by such things. Huh??? What is that even supposed to mean? Gay people don't fornicate on the streets,nor do they wear labels proclaiming their preferences, so where is the question of influence arising from? Personally, I don't think anyone's sexuality can be influenced, it is a part of our being, and I doubt if it is a cultivated trait.

I strongly believe that a person's sexual preference is his own to chose and follow, and no one has the right to even comment on it.So, people, who have huge long noses, and poke it everywhere, where they are not supposed to, I have just one thing to say, " It is none of your business, sir, go away!".

Coloured Tales - III

2008-11-12T00:15:00.000-08:00

There is discrimination, all kinds of it, all over the world. There are many of us, who do not accept or agree to such things and prefer to take others at their human value, sans any classification, and the world is a better place because of many people like that. But then again there are some who deeply believe in classifying the human species into various distinctions, and that is completely acceptable to me, as long as its just about knowing that we are not all the same. the problem however arises, when instead of celebrating the differences, learning from different people, it comes down to a false belief of superiority over people who are different, and by that not even by the virtue of something special in the person himself.

Discrimination leads to hostile, savage behaviour, and it hurts when we are on the receiving end of it, though often the same people don't quite mind it when they are on the other side of the fence. The victims are not always quite innocent. Often enough, especially in matters of racial discrimination, the victims are often at fault too. I have known many a people who live on foreign shores, and criticise the very country they live in. I quite understand loving one's own country, culture, religion, and the rest, but why on earth does that mean undermining another, I never quite get it. Being in a different country, is a great opportunity to learn, and gain, instead people turn critical of the very place they inhabit.

I have seen Indians in the Middle East spit on the road, haggle to reduce prices, eat chocolates off the rack in a departmental store and not pay for it, infest malls over the weekend, just to be there, if these things bother me, being an Indian, I will not quite be surprised, if non-Indians have a rather low view of Indians, after observing such behaviour from some of my fellow country people. After such obnoxious behaviour, if these very people complaint about being treated badly, there is little that one can say. On a similar note, I have never quite appreciated foreign tourists who visit India, wear rather revealing clothes at places where people are not used to seeing such open dressing and then complaint of being ogled at just because they have a different skin tone than Indians.

If I move out of my country and seek people who belong to my country of origin in foreign shores, and stick to being friends with them alone just because we have passports of the same country, who is a racist, me or the native who addresses us as a group? Often enough while experiencing discrimination, we forget our own acts which fuels the situation. And in most cases we disregard our own behaviour, while pointing an accusing finger at others.

A small incident from my own stock of tales, I have always felt left out when in office, people would speak in a native tongue, I was not familiar with while in a group. It happened umpteen number of times, and at one point I stopped bothering to ask for a translation, and became hostile enough to pretend that I did not understand the conversation even if I did. I felt all righteous, since when the only other member in my team who shared my mother tongue, made an attempt to converse with me in the same, I thwarted her efforts by responding in English/Hindi. But then I also remembered how back in college, we were a group of four, and three of us shared a common tongue, and very insensitively used the language commonly when amongst ourselves, till the fourth girl, walked away one day to express her irritation. So in this scenario, I myself can be accused of language bias, and its unfair of me to point a finger at others doing the same. The only difference here, from the discriminators I guess, is that I consider myself as guilty as the others whose behaviour bothered me.

My point here is that before getting defensive and upset by the discriminating treatment meted out to us, we need to ensure that we ourselves are not guilty of the same, and also that we do not do things that result in such reactions. We need to be open minded and appreciative of people different from us, and only then do we have the right to demand the same from them. And what I just do not understand is, why do people need to deride and condemn others based on classifications? If we truly love what we are, then we are better equipped at appreciating others and learning from them. Will it not be boring if the whole world were full of people who were replicas of each other in terms of caste, creed, sex, religion, region, race and all else. I think it will, the small factors which differentiate the people all around the world, form small bits of personal identity of a person, but never a person themselves. It makes us each unique, and lets us see the people around us who are different and learn from them.

The victory of Barack Hussein Obama in the US Presidential elections, has come as a light at the end of a tunnel, a beacon of hope saying the people are now embracing mankind, and are liking fellow beings disregarding the differences. I just hope that it is the beginning of a more tolerant era all around the world.

Coloured Tales - II

2008-11-11T00:14:00.000-08:00

Now I am formally introduced to a new form of discrimination and that's the colour of the skin and appearance. I have known religion, caste, creed, language, region as discriminating factors all my life, but this was a first for me. Apartheid, I remember the term I studied in school, and then I remember the South African cricket team playing its first international cricket match against India in Calcutta in 1991, after it stopped the racist policy of apartheid. But never in my nightmares had I thought I will experience it first hand someday. There are the skinheads, the Ku Klux Klan and such groups of people who proclaim racial supremacy over others, that I have heard or read about, and I fail to understand how are they different from the religious zealots who assume themselves to be superior to followers of other faiths? Does the discrimination factor actually make a difference, isn't discrimination in itself an objectionable act?

Racial discrimination is a two way process, and we will be foolish to think of Indians as non-racist. Not a single Indian movie will portray a white skinned character in positive light. I just wonder how does thinking of someone else as bad, make anyone better? Do we need to hate others to love oursleves? It actually speaks very low of one's self worth if their only way of proving themself to be good, is by loathing others.

I have a very simple explanation for any kind of discriminating fanatic, such people have no self worth or value, and they can only define themselves by the factor on which they discriminate. The most basic example I can think of is that of men who demand respect from womenfolk at home, abuse women and self proclaim their superiority, such men are usually just sore losers in real life, who are not worthy of any one's respect. The same goes for people who think they are superior based on any aspect except for their own being. Its common sense isn't it? We will go about proclaiming superiority based on something external to our own persona, only when nothing in our own persona is worth being proud of. At any point of time if we examine any random sampling of such biased extremists, we will find them unworthy of being labelled even human. And such people exist everywhere in the world, and what varies is just the name of the dividing factor.

When the BB was born, a close relative was going around worrying if the BB will be given a Hindu name, and what I felt was simple pity for the man. What was nothing but a happy occasion, a new baby born in the family, turned into a matter of great distress for this person. The name to me, is a word, and words belong to languages, not religions, so it just portrayed to me the constricted state of mind this person lives in. And that's what it has come to now, I just feel pity, pity for the person who tries to impress discrimination of any kind to portray his greatness, because such a person knows nothing about what true greatness is. Einstein is great, no matter what his caste, creed, religion or region, and I challenge any man in the world to challenge that. Mahatma Gandhi was great, because of the person he was, and he was not defined by anything more than himself.

When people talk in plurals, they have no identity of themselves, and when they commit acts of prejudice, they give a bad name to their entire sect. Its simple human nature, that if someone treats us badly , we are wary of that person, now if the same ugly act is done in the name of a certain sect, we become wary of the entire sect. Personalising it, I can say that since Friday evening, I am a little wary of the Arab community, though I have had no previous bad experiences with them. So when we are representing a sect, we have to be doubly responsible to represent it well, but unfortunately it usually happens the other way round, since only the scum of mankind depend on the such distinctions to define their unworthy existence, and misrepresent the entire community, which leaves a bad impression about their race, caste,creed, region, religion or whatever else on the rest.

If all the energy that is wasted in destruction in the name of various divisions,were used constructively to resolve issues like food shortage in the world, imagine what a wonderful place the world would be. As an example, if the MNS or Shiv Sena actually worked to repair the infrastructure of Bombay or spent the money on improving the health care facilities around the state, would not everyone idolise them, wouldn't Maharashtra become an ideal state? Why is it then that people do the wrong thing instead of the right, which is a much better option anyways.

Coloured Tales - I

2008-11-10T00:13:00.000-08:00

The weekend was rather good, with friends coming over for a few days. Most of the times were spent in happy chit-chatting, making merry and doing touristy things. This post though is not about that, but about something extremely unpleasant encountered during this rather happy weekend.

As is customary for most Indian tourists to the Middle East, our friend desired to buy some gold ornaments, and with that purpose we went around a few times. One of the first places we raided in our pursuit, was the blue souk/Central Sou k in Sharjah. So here most of the shops are managed, if not owned by people of the Indian subcontinent (meaning Indians, Pakistanis, Bangladeshis), and most of the interaction with the shop owners was regular. But things were drastically different, when we entered a shop called Al Romaizan, here the salesmen,managers or owner were Arabs, and their behaviour was despicable to say the least. We stood at the counter for over fifteen minutes, without a single person having the time to attend to us.The reason, our ethnicity. Not only did they not attend to us, when we tried to enquire about some pieces of jewelery, we were either ignored, and if we persisted, we were courted with rude replies.I had heard a million times and over about the outright racism here, but it was my first time facing the music. My initial impatience turned to irritation, and then gradually escalated to anger, when I saw them purposely staying away. I walked out in a huff, wished I could vent my anger, but I shut up knowing it would show me in bad light. But I huffed and puffed about it for most of the evening after that. Did someone really ill-treat me because I belonged to a different country? I could not believe the reality of it.

The next attempt was made at another place, and here the shop we entered was run by Indians. I guess, we expected a regular visit, but wrong again. This shop was owned and run by people from one particular state of India, and they preferred tending to customers who belonged to the same location, looked like that, and spoke the same language. So what can I say? Not only does my country of origin matter, but also my sub division in the country. And I wonder what my identity remains to be in this world today? Why does my being human, not count as anything, why are people interested in what colour is my skin, what language I speak, what I dress in? How does speaking a certain language make someone more worthy of attention than me? While I think being an Indian is an innate part of my sensibilities, an innate part of being me, as are so many other things, hence my identity is more then the country of origin.

I am very distressed by the incidents at both the places. I know racism exists, and I know it exists even in my very own country, but when faced with its ugliness, I was not left with much to do.

Looks Are all that Counts.

2008-10-28T23:26:00.000-07:00

Looks are very low on my list of priorities, if not absent all together, and I think that makes me a strange specimen in today's world, where appearances are of prime importance.Hygiene and health are no doubt an important part of my life, but not appearance per se. I love clothes yes, but make up, parlour visits and such likes are pretty much a rarity for me. I belong to a family, which does not much care for looks, and that is what has possibly instilled this complete disregard of looks in me. For the men care revolves just around the regular shaving and hair cuts, a lipstick and bindi is all that the women use as makeup, and I rarely use even those. Having grown up with such people, I find obsession with looks rather frivolous and superficial.

What matters to me is the person, emotions and thoughts a lot more than looks, possibly one of the main reasons I don't believe in love at first sight. Its very important to me to like the person within, making looks quite inconsequential to me. Strange, yes possibly, or so I have come to believe of late. Recently I learned of people who dislike me, because of all the weight I have put on since my pregnancy. Initially I thought of laughing it off as a joke, because I thought it was one, but when I realised that this was a serious truth, I was rather shocked. Never thought this was even possible. Shallow? Maybe, but I find it rather shocking. Someone does not like me because of the way I look. Yes, its true.

This has started a thought process in me, which makes me wonder if I need to look like a supermodel to make everyone like me. I think not. Are models universally loved? Are my looks very important to friend and family? Fortunately the answer to here is no, except for the shallow, mindless creature I learnt about. But does it hold true for many others in the world? The obsession for looks, feels like trivialising a person. I would find it rather demeaning if someone liked me based just on my looks. Maybe this is a case of grapes are sour, since I am not one of those drop dead gorgeous women one sees around, but I stick to my opinion none the less. And yet the current trend over emphasises the need for good looks, and that to me feels like such a demeaning way to treat a person. How can liking be based on looks? I just cannot comprehend the reason.

I do realise the importance of being presentable, especially at work, and I also understand the importance some people place on physical grooming, but what I just cannot fathom is how can one like or dislike someone based on the physical attributes alone. On a very personal note, I may add that I am extremely careless about my physical appearance. When I find myself short of an item urgently required in the house, I am quite capable of rushing down to the grocery store, having just run my fingers through my messy hair, I just never manage to find time to moisturise or cleanse or any of the many beauty routines one needs to follow, and yet I greatly appreciate the women and men who take the effort and groom themselves. But never on earth could my emotions for a person be based on their looks. The ones I love, will be loved by me in their shabbiest outfits, stubble on face, uncombed hair and worse, and if I am not fond of someone, their looking like the most gorgeous person on earth, will not attract me to them, and I believe that is natural. Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder and the people we love automatically look like the most attractive people around to us, and when we dislike a person, no matter how physically attractive, we can find flaws in their beauty.

But at the end of all this, I am still pondering, can people dislike or like another person based on just looks? Can you?

Social Networking or Not?

2008-09-28T15:23:00.000-07:00

There are a million social networking sites available today. Most of them populated by millions of people from across the world. A trend started by Orkut, followed up by Facebook and so many new sites are up there now. Initially I was really kicked about them, and was amazed at the number of friends I found, who I had never thought I'll be able to catch up with again. It was wonderful.

With the passage of time however, my views have changed. It seems more like a formality, than of any real use. After the first few exchange of pleasantries, nothing much follows. Often we add people on, as our friends, without even bothering with a cordial hello. Its strange and kind of rude, I feel. Whats the point of connecting then? Just to see some wacky profile photos and status messages, understanding none of it, because we have no idea of what is actually going on with that person. Even birthday messages are not sent to everyone on the list, because well, the people are just on the list and nothing more. End of the day I am just in touch with the friends who are truly a part of my life.

My closest friends are not too net savvy, they access the Internet infrequently and its mostly just mail accounts that are checked on those rare occasions. So my closest friends are not on my networking friend lists, and yet I know every single detail about their lives, and while the ones who happen to be on my friend list are people I hardly know anything about. I add people to my friend list, and after a few initial exchanges, all form of communication stops, but they continue to be on my list, and I on theirs. It seems just so meaningless, and yet I don't remove them from my list, because I don't want to be rude, and just continue with the hypocrisy, if I may call it so.

For me friendships are special, and I just cannot maintain superficial, aloof relationships with people. Its just not my kind of thing. And that's pretty much the reason I don't have huge circles of social friends, but just a few who are all my 4am friends. I am the kind of person who nags her friends when they are upset, no matter how much they claim they want to be left alone, I am the one who will fight for her friend even when he himself does not want to and to do anything less, is just something I cannot cope with. These sites are just so not meant for people like me. Now that the initial euphoria about having located long lost friends(rather acquaintances) is over, I just don't think its the thing for me.

What is the real purpose of these sites, to meet new people and make friends, to find old ones, or just boast of a big huge friend list(I have a contact on one of these sites, with over two thousand friends!!)? Whatever it is, I think the friends should be more than just a name on the lists.

The Ganda Angrez Characterisation.

2008-09-27T13:54:00.000-07:00

Alert - If you are not familiar with Hindi movies, this post is not for you! If you are, read on.
This weekend was spent browsing through quite a few movies, mostly while surfing the TV. Many of them had characters of foreign origins, and at most times they are portrayed as arrogant snobs. Namaste London and Dil Jo Bhi Kahey, were two of such movies I browsed through. Namaste London branded pretty much every Britisher as a snob, who holds India and Indians in contempt. In the other flick, they hero chooses the Indian girl over the other, for no apparent reason except for the fact that she is an Indian. Strange it was to actually notice how we form biases.

Indians movies typecast foreigners and their culture as lowly and demeaning. I wonder why? Does it show India in better light? Does degrading someone else make us better, is that the thought? Degrading someone else is not patriotism let me clarify here. Patriotism, is love for one's own country, and abasing some other country does not mean loving one's own.

Every country or culture in the world has its own speciality and character, and we are not meant to judge them. I love a movie like Swades, which speaks of true patriotism and is never critical of any others. But the others, they are just sad. I personally feel its unfair to make jibes at others, and try to feel good about our own selves. Its such a cheap shot. How can we generalise all western women as promiscuous, or the entire culture as snobbish? Today when the urban, educated Indian is actually interacting with people from different nationalities, its plain stupid to do a portrayal like that. There are all kinds of people all over the world, and generalisations are the worst thing to do. Why can we not be fair, and open minded, why do our movies always treat its foreign characters so unfairly. Its just so racist. They are people just like us, and there are all kinds, just like they are here. There are as many racists in UK, as there are those who appreciate India and its culture, there are as many goons in the US, as there are helpful and friendly people, so then why do our movies always generalise and negatively at that?

Its just sad, I don't believe anyone who belittles others can be virtuous themselves, and hence this kind of characterisation in the Hindi movies just does not go down too well with me.

Applause!

2008-09-16T04:43:00.000-07:00

My heart is elated today and nothing can change that. Female central government employees have been granted two years worth of paid leave for child-care for two children upto the age of eighteen. Oh! this is the most wonderful news I have heard in a long long time. Finally there is a recognition of the existence of a family life for the working Indian woman.

A time when more and more Indian women are joining the salaried work force of the country, this new rule the real need of the hour. A step towards acceptance of work-family balance in the life of the employees. In a time when organisations take up eighty percent of its employees waking hours, without any consideration, at a time when having a career is pretty much equivalent to having nothing but just that, this new development is a big step in the right direction. Besides showing that the employer cares for its employee as a person, it also acknowledges that the employees are people with human needs. When nuclear families are the rule of the day, this kind of a leave scenario, is not only great for the female employee, but a boon to their children. A mother can be with her child when the child most needs her, without compromising on her career, isn't that great.

Its amazing that such an inspiring and caring decision has been taken by the Centre, when the private companies cringe to even allow unpaid extensions to the three month maternity leave. Working from home is a concept less heard of even now in India, no matter how much new mother plead for it. A woman will now have the right to choose to be with her children as per their requirements without letting her career suffer, and without even losing her pay. I really wonder if I am dreaming. Sounds too good to be true. Finally a working woman can also be a just a woman, and fulfill her motherly duties without any compromises.

I welcome this change with a wide smile, and applaud the Indian Central Government for being sensitive to the needs of its employees. Well done!

Terror Strikes Again

2008-09-13T22:13:00.000-07:00

Another serial blast shook the Indian capital yesterday. Sitting on foreign shores, I could only pray that my friends and family in New Delhi are safe.It was scary, the feeling of helplessness, fear, anxiety.The authorities are useless, they have no prior information about anything, they can do nothing to help the victims and usually they either play the blame game, shifting the responsibility onto someone else, or they come up with excuses for their own ineffectual existence. So what does an average person like me do? Sit and wait, fingers crossed that I am one of the lucky ones yet again when the next blasts occur, lament the loss of the precious lives and move on with life, keeping the fear, the uncertainty as a constant part of it? Can I not look up to the authorities for protection, for safety? While the ineffectual law enforcement agencies in India look on, in this year alone we have had four cases of serial blasts.

May 13, 2008: Seven bombs rip through the crowded streets of India's western city of Jaipur, killing at least 63 people in markets and outside Hindu temples.

July 25, 2008: Nine blasts strike the IT city of Bangalore killing at least two people and wounding at least 20.

July 26, 2008: 21 blasts hit Ahmedabad killing 55 and injuring 100. Meanwhile, 24 live bombs were recovered from Surat.

September 13, 2008: Five blasts rock busy markets of national capital, Delhi killing 24 and injuring over 100. Meanwhile, 4 live bombs were recovered and diffused.

I am not even mentioning anything about the terrorist activities in Jammu & Kashmir, because they happen just every single day and have even lost their element of shock. And we continue to live in such a country.

What does the government, the defence forces, the police , the intelligence, all add up and do? They just sit there, with their hands folded neatly across their laps, waiting for more? Is it impossible to nab the culprits and award them punishments so strict that the terrorists will cringe before they even think of doing something like this again. These are killers, we are talking about, not human beings. These people have no faith, no religion, and most importantly no humanity. How many more attacks will the poor innocent common man have to face, before he is finally free from this terror? How can an average Indian ever feel safe, where the government is doing pretty much nothing. Serial blasts in major cities, at the rate of about one every alternate month, and it continues unhindered?

The accused of the 1993 serial blasts in Bombay were awarded their sentences just recently. They had the right to live for all these fourteen years, while their victims have either been dead or disabled. Why were they not punished earlier? Can investigations and justice not be speeded up, can it not be stricter, sterner? Such gruesome acts need to be punished suitably, so they are not repeated. The culprits need to be nabbed, fast. There are no second chances for them, just as there are none for their innocent victims.

Why can the intelligence never ever preempt these attacks. What are they working at? How do they manage to fail so spectacularly every time? What's the use of these agencies, if we cannot be accorded basic safety? Here there is an immediate suspect, a man called Abdul Subhan, who the Intelligence were aware of. So how was this man allowed to roam free, to make more bombs, and kill more people? Why was there no urgency to nab him and bring him to justice, and prevent further damage? Why? These are educated terrorists, the kind that scares me the most, because their education seems useless, when they put it to such gruesome use, and no acceptance or tolerance.

I was very disturbed after the concurrent blasts in Bangalore and Ahmedabad when I wrote this post. But now the feelings have changed to anger, frustration, helplessness. I sit in my own country, move around , not sure when I will be killed, because there is no one I can trust to protect me and keep me safe? Will I reach a stage when these things will stop bothering me, as long as me and my loved ones are not harmed, like Chandni says she has begun to feel. I am sure that time is not too far, and yet imagine the horror of that. Just a few calls, ensuring all is well, and going right back to my usual life. Is that how things are meant to be?

For once my anger is directed more towards the authorities than the terrorists themselves, because of their grand failure, for their inabilities, inabilities which cause death and destruction. These are people who are trained and paid to keep India safe and the citizens alive, and they sit there twiddling their thumbs? Come up with excuses of how hard they have been trying, with no results to show?

I am scared now to even think where this is going. We have Jammu and Kashmir, where people live in a constant state of unrest and fear. A place, where Indian forces have the might to set things right, but the government does not allow it, to keep their vote banks alive. Is the entire country now heading towards the same?

I shed my silent tears, in my own corner of the world, for the innocent people who lost their lives, for the families which are grieving the loss of their own, for humanity, which is dwindling, and pray for some sense to come into this mayhem to restore my faith in mankind.

And Some More Bias and Un-Constitutional Acts.

2008-09-11T00:03:00.000-07:00

Close on the heels of my last post, came this piece of news about the Shiv Sena attacking Shahrukh Khan for his Delhi roots. For the uninitiated, I absolutely detest the existence of Shiv Sena, for the simple reason that the very premise of their existence is unconstitutional, but then again, we stay in a country where the constitution has no worth. There is a very complicated logic for this attack, which is of no consequence, its all about the personal equations people have with each other.

Bal Thakeray friend of Bachhans.
Raj Thakeray opposition of Bal Thakeray.
Raj Thakeray attacked the Bachhans.
Bachhan's competitor is Shahrukh Khan.
Bal Thakeray attacks Shahrukh Khan.

Now none of this is my business. But what bothers me, are the unconstitutional things being openly said here, without any reprimands.

According to the Right to Freedom under the Fundamental Rights we have,

To move freely throughout the territory of India;
To reside and settle in any part of the territory of India.

We also have the right to freedom of expression. So how can the Shiv Sena (led by Bal Thakeray) or the MNS(led by Raj Thakeray), have any say about what anyone else says, or where anyone else lives?

If the Bachhan's speak Hindi, or Shahrukh Khan says he is from Delhi, what is the big deal, and who are these idiots to object. As a citizen of India, they have the right to live anywhere they want to in the state of India and speak the national language Hindi. How dare these buffoons intimidate or abuse them? What do they want, that, at the Hindi movie premiers held in Bombay, everyone should speak in Marathi? Should we convert the Hindi Film industry to Marathi film industry. There are limits to all foolish acts, but this is just going over the limit.

Whats even more irritating and disgusting is the way these people have defended themselves, giving examples of much worse behaviour. Its like saying its ok if I kill one person because the terrorists are killing so many. To quote from the news item, "In southern states, the anti-Hindi campaign has been on for the last sixty years. There is a ban on Hindi films and Hindi news in Tamil Nadu. In Assam, those speaking in Hindi are killed," they said. How shameful is that? How do we live in a country where such things happen, and no one does anything about it. Shouldn't we be ashamed of such things, instead of publicly flaunting them and using them as a shield for further communal behaviour.

I believe India is the only country where there is no pride in the national language. We go onto proudly announce that we don't know it, don't want to, and neither do we care to. How shameful is that. Hindi is our national language, we need to have a sense of pride in that. Its great to know your mother tongue, but it really aggrieves me when Indians disregard the national language, it hurts my patriotic spirit. I love my national flag, national language, national anthem. So if one does not know Hindi, I have to presume that they don't know the national anthem either, which again is in Hindi!

We are one country India, not different states, why can we not accept, understand and have pride in that. How do these communal remarks, thoughts, acts, help anyone at all? Does the country achieve anything by it, do we progress, get richer? No, then why? A person can be born in Chennai, do his schooling in Ooty, go to college in Chandigarh, do the post grad in Pune, and then work in Kolkatta. Whats the big deal? So does this person have to pretend to belong to whichever state he currently is in, to please some goons like the Thakerays? I can live anywhere I want to in My country, and happily so, I don't have to learn the local language, there is no binding, I will do it only because I want to, and no reason but that!

We live in a country which claims to be secular, give rights of equality to its citizens, the freedom of expression. Where do all these things disappear in the presence of goons? Has it really become a state of Might is Right now?

Addendum - More communal statements from the Thakrey clan continues. Now Bal Thakeray claims that Bombay belongs to Maharashtrians only, and none others. Two questions for you Mr.Thakeray..

1. Do you know as a guarantee that The Joint Commisioner does not know Marathi, did he personally inform you that he does not know the language? I think not, and I don't believe it is even possible that he does not know Marathi. So is he prohibited from using any language other than Marathi as long as he is in Maharashtra? And for press conferences,is Marathi to be the only language in use, even when more than the Marathi press is in attendance? Who are you to instruct anyways?

2. What is Bombay, the financial capital of India, without the Ambanis, Birlas, Tatas, Wadias, Mallyas? None of them are Maharashtrian may I point out! Can you and the Shiv Sena, run such huge business enterprises?

Why the typecasting of Muslims?

2008-09-07T01:25:00.000-07:00

I am deeply distressed by the fact, that around the world, all Muslims are looked upon with suspicion and distrust. Why is it so? Are all other religions free of violence, prejudice, hatred? Can the Christians say they are non violent, when they have the largest genocide in the world attributed to one of them. Can the Hindus claim that they are peace loving when Narendra Modi actually ordered the atrocious killings and torture of Muslims in his state being a Chief Minister. Are the Sikhs non-violent, inspite of the terror filled days of Punjab and Delhi, followed by the assassination of Indira Gandhi. But do we look at all people following these religions with suspicion? No? Then why the Muslims?

I personally know a few very nice people who are Muslims, and they are nothing if not kind and helpful beings. So why do we define all Muslims as untrustworthy?Is that fair? I do not support terrorism or violence in anyway. Anyone who kills or maims other living beings is in-human and their religion is absolutely of no consequence to me. I abhor killers. That said, I think its extremely unfair to label people just because they belong to a certain community. Its even worse when we fail to appreciate the individuals from the same community who stand up against others in their own community to support humanity.

There is a twenty one year old boy from Bombay. He was abused physically and verbally, by a mob, accused of being a terrorist and even forced to chant a Hindu prayer. This boy was used by the Indian Mujaheddin, as an excuse for their terrorist acts. But this young man refused to be an excuse for terrorist acts, and said that he does not want himself avenged, and is instead willing to let the government serve justice. Wow! with tears in my eyes, I want to applaud, this young man of conviction. He is nothing less than the patriotic Hindi film hero from the seventies. I would not have this amount of patience or faith, if I myself had been faced with this situation. I would have developed a life-long hatred for the other community. But only one tabloid, yes, not even a regular newspaper reported about him. The Mumbai Mirror did it here. When I googled Bilal Ahmad, I just found one more article related to him here. I loved the ending of it, and am quoting it verbatim.

"Hazrat Bilal was a freed slave who patiently endured several hardships during the early years of Islam and gave Islam’s first call for prayers (azaan). Ahmad is another name for the Holy Prophet [PBUH], also meaning “highly praised.” Bilal Ahmad stood true to his name!"

I wonder how many have even heard his name, or even know that a wonderful person like him, who believes in Islam, exists in our society. Not a celebrity, not rich, nor powerful, but he stands up, honest and true in a world which doubts and abuses him. I salute you my fellow Indian. You inspire me.

Now should we doubt all the communities, and religions, whose followers beat up Bilal? No, we will not, then why are we unreasonable when it comes to the Muslims? Except for the celebrities like the Khans in movies, or the cricketers, no one else is looked at without a twinge of doubt.

The Muslim community in India is generally communal and likes to live surrounded by fellow Muslims. Is it the cause of suspicion, or has the insecurity of the incident like Bilal's led them to become more communal? I really cannot say, but there are many other communities in India who prefer to live with their own. What else is the Shiv Sena asking for, a large Mahrashtrian ghetto is it not? They do not want any non-Marathi speaking people in Maharashtra, meaning what? Only a particular community can inhabit a place.Why is that acceptable, while the Muslims living clustered in places looked at with suspicion?

There are millions of incidents where Muslims in India are targeted and also vice versa. What bothers me though is the branding, the branding of Muslims as terrorists. The way I see it, there is no bigger terrorist in the world besides Narendra Modi, he is worse than even Adolf Hitler, and neither were Muslims. Narendra Modi is a threat to the very people he is expected to protect and ensure the well being of, and unlike Hitler who openly accepted he wanted the Jews dead, this man proclaims innocence!

Here is my deal, anyone who kills, spreads terror, must be dealt with in the severest ways irrespective of their caste, creed, religion, sex, age or race. But it is unfair to brand an entire community, disregard them and not acknowledge the chivalry of anyone belonging to that community, just because we have a stereotype in our minds. Today when the whole world has doubts over every person who follows Islam, let India show its true secular status, embrace our fellow Indians who follow this faith, get them out of the ghettos, into the mainstream and from there let us uproot terrorism, or the probability of an innocent young mind getting misled due to the nonchalance of the society at large.Let us open our hearts with love and faith, and then there will not be communities that will divide humanity, but virtues and vileness.

Addendum - Just read a post on the concept of ghettoism and how the general people are segregated and discriminated against based on their community.

Children, Expectations, Conditional Love?

2008-09-06T05:01:00.000-07:00

It happens everywhere, all parents have these issues, but is it right? I wonder. When we want children, do we sign up contracts with them? Do we put in clauses like

We will love you, only if you are the top scorer
or
We will love you, only if you can paint like Picasso
or
You will be well taken care of only if you are good looking
or
You will be adored only if you are the fastest runner in school

No, not really, because we usually are either not far sighted enough to see what lies ahead and we presume it is our right as parents to demand from our children. The portrayal of parents in Taare Zammen Par was so wonderful and true that its unbelievable. We expect our children to be what we want them to be and we are ready to do anything to make them do it. Is that what parents are for, to push, to condition, to force?

No, I don't think so. When a woman is pregnant, the parents-to-be proclaim, that all they want is a healthy child.But once that healthy child is born, things change. Parents with more than one child often have favourites, based on sex, looks, academic results, popularity and later even job and earning capacity.And when its just one child, there is insurmountable pressure to achieve their expectations.I have a relative, whose daughter is doing her graduation in one of the renowned colleges of India. But that is not good enough for them, so they blatantly lie to acquaintances saying that the child is studying engineering in another city. I was shocked to hear of an incident,where she met her mother, who was with a colleague, on the streets, and the mother blatantly refused to recognise her, so as to perpetuate the myth that she is in another city. How amazingly loved the child must have felt! (If you did not get it, the last statement was highly sarcastic.)

Why can we as parents not guarantee unconditional love for our children. If we do not love our child for just, being our child, who will? Parents are supposed to be the people to whom a child can come expecting help, support and love at all times, and here we are judging our own child, forcing them to be what they are not, or even do not wish to be. When we become parents, its more than about physically taking care of a baby, financially getting the best for them, its about opening our hearts and minds, and promising our child affection in its strongest and most unadulterated forms.

A big problem occurs when a person discovers his/her homosexuality. Its a time full of confusion and fear, usually in the teens, when we as human beings start gaining understanding of our sexuality. Imagine a child,say Vicky, who has a typical set of parents, who expect him to behave in a set pattern. At around sixteen years of age, Vicky discovers that unlike his other friends, he is not into girls, but prefers boys. He is scared, he is confused and he has no idea what is going on with him. He knows this is homosexuality, and he knows his parents will not understand. He does not dare to even tell them what he is going through, his misery increases as do his doubts. He needs support, he needs love, a poor sixteen your old boy is scared out of his wits, and he dare not ask his parents for help. Could that be your child, could you turn out to be a parent like that, could I? A parent who will judge, who will be more concerned about her own self, social status and all else, more than her child? Are we adult and matured enough to actually understand the situation and help? For the parent who freaks out in this situation, I have one question, did you put up the condition that you will accept the child only if its not gay when you child was conceived? Does your child change from being your child based on their sexuality? If they are not accepted and honoured in their own home for what they are, where in the world can they expect it?

Does my love for my child depend on his sexual preference? I loved the way Juhi Chawla's character embraces her brother, and her affection does not waiver for even a second when she finds out about his homosexuality and HIV positive status in My Brother Nikhil, thats what I would expect of a parent. But imagine how the father and for that matter even the mother of Taare Zameen Par, react if one of their sons declared that they were gay? The least they would do is abuse the child and disown him, God alone knows what more. There are many gay people who enter into hetrosexual marital ties, just due to parental pressure. The horror of the situation! Watch this movie called Migration by Mira Nair on a similair situation.

Most of us put on the act of a loving parent rather well, saying things like, I am ok, with whatever my child wants to do, how many of us are really ok if our child wants to love someone of the same sex? What would you do, what would I do? That is my question.

Woman = Man, Woman < Man or Woman > Man??

2008-09-06T04:17:00.000-07:00

Are man and woman the same, can they both perform the same activities, and think they same things? I think not. Its obvious, we are different, different sexes of the same species. So why this desperate urge to prove that men and women are the same?

I believe man and woman to be both distinct, but essential halves of humanity, we are different, but both equally important. The question of comparison, superiority or inferiority does not arise amongst two different things. How can one say which is better, a banana or an apple? To choose the better one amongst the two sexes is something similair to that for me. I just cannot understand why so many women want to prove they are as good as men. Who can say men are better than women and how can they? We are different, each has its strength and weaknesses, and that's what makes us compliment each other so perfectly and completely.

Who and how can one say one of the sexes is superior to other, based on what? If a woman tries to claim she is as good as any man, she is inherently saying that Man is superior to Woman. Why and how, how is that even possible? As a woman I want to be the best of what I can, it has nothing to do with was a man can or cannot do, I am not competing against man per se. Man is NOT superior to woman nor vice versa. There might be individual cases where one person can do something better than another, but that does not mean one sex is one up on the other.

Often enough this comparison comes up in the corporate world, and I don't understand why. If a man gets better opportunities at work, just by the virtue of his being a male, even though inferior with his quality of work, then its a foolish boss, who does not understand what benefits him and his organisation, and so a woman will be better off working for a more intelligent person. If someone distinguishes amongst his juniors, employees, students based on their sex and not their ability or skills, then I have nothing but pity for such a person. Because here is a mind that does not understand aptitude and is completely absorbed by the physical differences between people, such people are unlikely to be a good superior, and hence not worth sparing a moment's thought!

But its not what others do, as much as what we ourselves think that we need to analyse. Why does a woman need to think she has to prove something? She is good, she is great. Why does she doubt herself, why does she let herself believe men are the yardstick to measure themselves against and prove a point against? I am proud to be a woman and though I don't celebrate it and all of that, but I am very aware of my being a woman, and I have no notions whatsoever of being inferior to men, because I am NOT A MAN.

My problem is with women who compare themselves to men, trying to ape them, be like them, compete against them. Because by doing this, they endorse, that men are superior to women, and I do not agree, I vehemently disagree. I donot say men are inferior, but I donot believe them to be superior either. They are different, they are men, and I am a woman. Why does a woman degrade her ownself, more importantly, why does she degrade me by thinking men are better? I find it humiliating to womankind. The harder she works to prove herself to be better, the more she humiliates herself, because the strength of her belief in the inferiority of her sex increases with each and every step. A woman is a woman and she is wonderful in her self.

I am a woman, and am very comfortable in my own skin. I have no illusions of any of the sexes being superior or inferior to the other. We are different, just like the banana and the apple, and there simply are no comparisons!

Shubh Ganesh Chaturthi!

2008-09-03T11:45:00.000-07:00

Om Ganapataye Namah!

Vakra-Tunda Mahakaya KotiSuryaSamaprabha|
Nirvighnam Kuru Me Dev Sarvakaryeshu Sarvada||

Translation-

"Oh Lord with the twisted trunk, with the effulgence of a billion suns,
Always make all my undertakings obstacle free."

You can hear the shloka here.

Ganesha or Ganpati is a Hindu mythological God. He is said to be the son of Lord Shiva and the Goddess Parvati. He is distinctly recognisable by his elephant head. There are many different stories about how he got an elephant head, but the one I prominently know about, goes like this.... Lord Shiva had gone away for a while, when Ganesha was born to Parvati. Once when Parvati have gone for a bath in her palace, she gave Ganesha the duty of guarding her door and not letting anyone in. During this period, Lord Shiva returns from his trip, and since they have never seen each other, Ganesha does not let him in. Enraged by not being allowed inside his own home, the hot headed Lord Shiva, chops off the head of Ganesha and throws it far away. When Parvati comes out and sees this, she is heartbroken to see her beloved son beheaded. Lord Shiva on finding out the true identity of Ganesha, is filled with remorse and gets the head of an elephant, attaches it to Ganesha's body.

In Hinduism, Ganesha is the God of prosperity, luck and happiness. He is said to remove all worries and obstacles from the lives of his devotees. Any new undertaking is started after an ode to him. He has a huge belly and that represents prosperity. Legend says Ganesha loves modak (a kind of sweet), and so that's a must for his worship or puja. There are many tales about his wisdom and brave acts and you can read some of them here. One of my favourite tales about Ganesha is that he wrote the Mahabharata as Ved Vyasa dictated it, but Ganesha had a condition, where he agrees to write the story, only if Vyasa never stops during the dictation, to which Vyasa agrees, provided Ganesha writes the verses only after he understands them. And so the great epic was penned down by none other than Ganesha himself. Legend also goes that Ganesha broke the tip of one of his tusks, to use as a quill to write the epic.

I am missing the big Ganesh Chaturthi festivities that are observed in Bombay, the first time I am not there in six year. Here is wishing everyone a Shubh Ganesh Chaturthi! May the lord remove all obstacles from the lives of his devotees and shower the whole world with his immense love and prosperity!

And on this auspicious occasion you can hear the ganesh aarti, Jai Ganesh Jai Ganesh, Jai Ganesh Deva right here.

In the Name of The Father.

2008-09-01T18:38:00.000-07:00

Just back from a short trip back to India, and have come back to this piece of news. Kind of coincidental, since a post on these lines had been forming in my mind ever since I met my old maid in India. A child without a legitimate father, or the child of a single mother in India a rare and pretty much unheard of phenomenon, but it happens, and then what?

Let me tell you this story of this housemaid I had. She is in her early thirties, mother of two. The husband left her many years back and she has been alone ever since, built herself her own house(a hut to be precise), has been sending her children to school, working, taking care of them and all of that. The elder child, her daughter is in juniour college now. Then she found love, in a man who is married himself, stays at the other end of the city, but visits her regularly and stays over for a few days each month. She has been ostracised by her fellow slum dwellers ever since. This affair led to her getting pregnant. This was something she was not prepared to deal with. She went to the local hospital for an abortion, but the doctors sent her back, with vague references of her being to weak to be able to sustain an abortion(Strange, the body can nourish a foetus, but not sustain an abortion, need to check this with a real doctor).They kept her running around in circles till she crossed the twenty week stage, and then informed her that an abortion would now be illegal. Now there was not a way out. She recently gave birth to a baby boy, relatively healthy. The father is nowhere to be seen, and a new life is here. The mother is getting back to work, she has mouths to feed!

So that's the story. But what kind of a life will the child have? Will he be teased in school, would he be ostracised? What about his official documents, what name would that carry, especially in a state like Maharashtra, where the father's name is per force inserted in as your middle name, no matter what. Can the biological father's name appear even if he had not married the mother, or if the child does not even know of his existence? When the child is posthumous, no chance of ever knowing the father exists, there is no problem. A dead father's name is accepted and honoured, even if the child to whom that name is attached has no idea of who the person is, but when the father and mother are not married, or the father abandons the child, the name is neither acceptable nor honoured. And why can there not be anything without a father's name? We have many movies dedicated to this concept, where a child suffers misery all his life due to the lack of a father's name.

How unfair is it to doom for life a person, because of the marital status or lack of it of two people at the time of his conception? What about the mother who toils to earn and bring up the child? Why does she have no significance, why is her name alone not enough? How can the world be so cruel as to give no identity to a person save that of a father's name when s/he is too young to even understand the concept of parents. A father who does not have a real presence in the child's life, has no contribution in their care or upbringing, why does their name matter, why is it a matter of humiliation to not have that name? The gross injustice of the situation frustrates me to no end. How insensitive are we as a society, as per our archaic laws?

Another aspect of this story which disturbs me no end is the doctor's who take away the freedom of choice of the woman. For the fear of repercussions,like the father suddenly turning up and getting angry, these quacks, made excuses to delay the abortion till it became illegal. Will they take responsibility for the life and future of the child now? Do they care if the child even dies of malnutrition? What if he is unable to go to school and turns out to be the street side goon, will this doctor assume the responsibility? How can the financial status of a woman determine whether she has access to medical facilities or not? It is simply unfair, unjust and a BIG DARK spot on the face of my country. Shame to the doctor and her bias.

It is just sad to see such occurrences, in a country which claims to be progressive, and by people who are educated, and officially certified as medical practitioners.

Your money, My money, Whose money?

2008-08-29T20:49:00.000-07:00

Money and wealth has been a reason for war and conflict since ages. Money is a necessary evil in our lives, we cannot live without it, and yet it is just never enough. Money and its vagaries have amused me for long, and I owe my sensible outlook towards it today to none other that my better half.

But this particular post is dedicated to a very funny concept I have come across in the last few years. Its the division of money between husband and wife, oh I put it across wrongly, there is no division, because there is no common pool at all, its just his money and her money.

The modern Indian working woman, has her own resources and some like to keep it aside as her own. Ofcourse working spouses will have atleast two different bank accounts, which are separately credited with salary, but when each becomes possessive and secretive about their own monetary status, the situation can get somewhat tricky and even humorous. I remember a colleague in office telling us how she is given pocket money by her husband from his own funds, and also how her money is never used for anything for her in-laws. It was kind of funny. How can you share a home, a bed, child/ren and often even a name with someone, but haggle about having separate funds? Who pays for the rent, the bills, the children's needs? I think the days when women used to work as a hobby and earn peanuts are now behind us, and most spouses earn almost equally, so it can no longer be the case, where the woman's earnings is kept aside, just for her own personal use. So whats the division I wonder.

For me its always been a common pool, we have God alone knows how many bank accounts we have , courtesy the many loans from different banks, besides the salary accounts, and there has never been any issues of my money or his money. Gets kind of sad too because you cannot really buy gifts from common funds, and The Husband takes good advantage of that! But its nice this way, and I shudder to think how it would be if there was his money and my money and especially now when I am jobless, well atleast not on a paying job. For us spendthrifts, its usually about digging out from wherever we find morsels at the end of most months, so if we had it all split up, I wonder how would we ever survive. But this split up becomes so essential and critical to people, that they don't mind the price they have to pay for it.I remember another colleague, with a small child, who used to fall ill often, not even contemplating the idea of quitting for a few months because she did not wish to beg her husband for money, no matter what the child suffered through.

I wonder for how long can this possessiveness for money last without any hassles? Does it get complicated after a certain point of time, does it become an ego issue, do they have a technical segregation of whose money takes care of what what expenses, do they ensure that they spend equally on each other's gifts? Who pays for the parties? Do they even borrow and lend money to each other when one is short of funds, and is there interest charged on that? My God! even thinking about it is way too complicated for me, to even contemplate this kind of a set up. I am happy sharing my life, home, baby and all else with The Husband, just as I am sure is he. Yes we share all our bank accounts and credit cards! So if you are horrified by that, so be it, we are happy and hassle-free this way.

To all the couples who keep their monies separate, I can think of just one reason, easier division at the time of divorce!

Something Funny!

2008-08-29T08:23:00.000-07:00

Have wanted to share this for long, but somehow I never quite remember, old age catching up I guess. Well, this is a real life incidence, and I was rolling with laughter when I heard it, just don't know if it will sound equally funny in writing.

Reference Notes - Prado is an SUV manufactured by Toyota. And in UAE white is the most common colour for vehicles, nearly 80% of all vehicles on the road are white.

An acquaintance of ours,Rafeek, has been in Sharjah for the last twelve years or more, and most of them have been spent driving, so he pretty much knows the city in and out. A lot of his acquaintances keep coming to this place, and if they ever get lost, they call him up and he guides them through. So last year, a friend of his, lets call him LM(Lost Man), came to the city. One day LM went out and did not know where he was, so he called Rafeek, and the conversation was something like this-

LM - Rafeek, yaar main gum gaya hoon. Samajh nahin aa raha ki kahaan hoon.
(Rafeek, I am lost, I don't know where I am.)
Rafeek - Fikar mat kar, mujhe bata ki tere aas paas kya hai, phir main tujhe ghar jaane ka raasta batata hoon.
(Don't worry, tell me what can you see nearby and I will guide you home.)
LM - aas paas..(thinks)...... saamne ek safeed Prado khadi hai!
(nearby........There is a white Prado right in front of me.)

(Laughter track) Hope it sounded amusing to you too!

Adaptations of the Human Kind

2008-08-06T13:09:00.000-07:00

Just a lot of conversations over the last few days with various people, have veered about the topic of expats and foreign tourists adapting to the new land, kind of triggered my thoughts in various directions. But the big question is should it happen, should it not, how much of adaptation is necessary, what marks it as going over board, and what kind of sticking to your roots, actually makes you stick out like a sore thumb?

When in Rome do as the Romans do. An old proverb which advices everyone to adapt to their surroundings. And it is probably a necessity to a great extent. An Indian cannot go to an American restroom and ask for water to be supplied for cleaning, just as an European back packer in India cannot expect toilet paper at the small dhaba (highway eating joints) restrooms.But if someone is just a tourist, the need to adapt and accept is very little, and it would be unjust to expect it too. For an expat on the other hand, I believe the needs are different.

When a person moves out of his home country(Homeland) to a new one(Newland), its a big change and it is important for the expat to analyse just how big the change is, how much he is ready to adapt to his new surroundings, and how much is he to retain of his original heritage. Like in anything else in life, striking a balance is of utmost importance, and that is where most of us fail I think.Its the easiest for me to explain my concept by talking about Indians abroad, because those are the ones I am most familiar with.

There are two extreme contrasts that I can think of, examples from cinematic experiences. On one hand there is a overwhelmed by his foreign surroundings, Mr. Kohli (played by Nitin gantara) from the movie Bride and Prejudice. Mr. Kohli is all praises for America land, and has nothing but contempt for motherland. He has an accent, and thinks anything Indian is below his standards (except ofcourse for the dutiful wife his looking for.), so true isn't it, how Indian expats always look for spouses in India. This is the one extreme, where an expat goes all out to adapt to the new land, and is enamoured by everything new, so much so that he despises his own roots. From accents, to food, despise for anyone from Homeland in Newland(trying to prove he is a real Newlander while the other one is a true Homelander), taking special efforts to copy everything that's done by natives. I feel that in such a case, one loses touch with what is his own, the roots. I still remember when I was in school, a pair of siblings had gone to visit relatives in the US over the summer vacations, and came back with the most heinous haircuts imaginable, and proudly went around school looking like a hen for the next few months. It was hilarious, and I wonder if they were laughed at, in the US too. The funniest incidences happen when these people come back to Homeland and behave like they just cannot believe things are this way in some part of the world.

On the other extreme, we have the character of Anjali (played by Kajol) in the movie, Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gham. She pokes fun of the natives, she cannot stop drooling over India, actually goes onto have the children in a British school sing an Indian patriotic song. God, that was actually hilarious. There are such people who go abroad but never even bother to learn the language spoken there, forget about picking up the customs. In their zealous love for Homeland, they actually end up giving the Homeland a bad name, due to their uncouth and insensitive behaviour. These people go to Newland and change nothing about themselves, food, language, looks, habits, manners, nothing at all and end up even hurting the local sentiments many a times. In the zeal to maintain their identity, they end up being stubborn and hurtful of the locals. This type has only criticism for the Newland natives and culture. Though they never really move back to Homeland, but they keep singing praises of it, and talk about how life can never be as wonderful in Newland. And God how confused do the children of these people grow up, trying to adapt to the Newland, but being forced to maintain Homeland traditions back home.

While I would condemn an expat for doing things that are against the common culture of Newland, its also not necessary to completely convert to be accepted. Its not nice to be a noisy bunch of people in public transport, eating food openly, when neither might be common in Newland. On the other hand it does not make sense putting up a fake accent and going overboard with coloured hair and more either. Fakes donot work anywhere. Its important to be sensitive to other's sentiments while keeping your integrity alive. Pick the best of both cultures and don't do it in reverse. I have seen Indian expats, throw flowers of worship into water bodies on the sly. Why, why do they do that I wonder?

Personally for me, while I do love my country and will retain some integral things of Indian-ness in me , I would never do things that are not acceptable in Newland. You can be warm, and happy, maintain values like, respecting the elders, caring for your children, treating guests with love in the Homeland tradition, but littering, using Homeland language when in a group which has people of other nationalities, abusing your Homeland in appreciation of Newland is not really cool or happening. So maintaining the right balance of adaptation and becoming welcome asset to Newland, while also being a good representative of Homeland is what works for me. Having true pride in my own identity is what will enable me to adapt to a new place without resentment.

Is this cruelty?

2008-08-06T06:53:00.000-07:00

Skimming through the news today morning, I came across a rather outrageous incident reported by the papers. This is an incident that is highlighted and might be also a first of its kind, but its shocking none the less. Somehow a single human life finds very little value when looked at from a perspective, where its not about an individual, but about people as a mass. That is the reason there are wars and terrorist attacks. Because the perpetrators of these ghastly acts, do not look at the destruction of an individual victim, or their family. When a war is declared, do either of the rulers/Presidents/Military chiefs think about the two year who is maimed and orphaned in the war? No! Because they look at people as a mass and not an individual. And that is what de-humanises the entire event to them.

Manji Yamada with her grandmother.

That is how the law works too. Its generalised, its for people as a mass, and has no empathy for a particular individual person. So if the law states that a single father cannot claim the child, till legitimacy is proven, that is it. The bureaucracy is stuck, the rules are fixed, they cannot circumvent it. Even if that means an innocent eleven day old baby languishes in the hospital, and cannot go to a loving home. It does not matter if the father loves the child and wants her desperately, it does not matter, if he has had to leave the country and go due to technical issues. All that matters in this case is that the law is upheld in this lawless country! A country where murderers roam free and criminals form the government, an eleven day old is suffering because her parents borrowed a womb of a woman to have her.

What proof of legitimacy does the law want? Don't they have medical records to show that Dr Ikufumi Yamada is the father? I am sure there is extensive documentation involved in the process of surrogacy. What if Dr.Yamada is unable to prove the legitimacy, what happens to the baby, will they send her to an orphanage, even though she has a father who dearly wants her? Its fortunate she has a grandmother who is there, looking after her while her father had to rush back due to the expiry of his visa, what would have happened, had she not been there? Would she have just layed in a cold and sterile hospital, far removed from the warmth and love of her family? Do any of the babus sitting in the offices, who have created this situation even care that there is a human life involved, a small infant, who needs all the love and affection it can get? I wonder how this de-sensitisation process really works, because I and the other I know who have read about this incident, are deeply touched and moved by the plight of this cute little bundle.

I hope that with all the media attention this case is receiving, the whole issue will be resolved and little Manji Yamada will soon join her family in Japan to lead a happy life ahead. My love and good wishes are with you little baby doll. But what is more important and will possibly be forgotten once this case reaches a happy ending, is the law which has led to this cruel situation. Will it be amended, will things change for a more humane, sensitive approach?

SRK and Bachhan,Are they comparable, really?

2008-08-02T09:55:00.000-07:00

Shahrukh Khan and Amitabh Bachhan, the comparisons continue. And I wonder why? If its acting skills that's being compared, I think they are both great actors par excellence, no doubt, but if it is star power or personalities, how can there by any comparison?

Shahrukh Khan is the clear winner all the way, beyond even the thought of comparison. While SRK is monogamous and non-controversial, with no affairs ever linked to him, Mr.Bachhan had possibly the most talked about and publicised affair(extra marital) of the Hindi film industry with a certain Rekha. Where is the comparison I ask. SRK pays advanced Income tax each year in crores of Rupees, while Mr. Bachhan forges papers to prove himself to be a farmer(yes really), grab some land and make some more money. He also doesn't pay the customs on goods he purchases abroad. And we still compare? SRK comes from a regular middle class background, whereas Mr.Bachhan is the son of a very famous poet, the late Harivansh Rai Bachhan. And yet they both made it to the top of their profession. Who had it easier?

SRK is married to a woman, who follows a different faith and lets it be that way.I think that's admirable, especially in a religion torn country like ours. Mr. Bachhan on the other hand, is seen wearing a million astrological rings, and visiting all kinds of temples at all kinds of hours, to pray for his success and prosperity. Even at his age passes snide comments about actors half his age and their relationships.(Yes, I heard it during the season finale of Rendezvous with Simi Garewal's shots behind the scenes, the unkind reference was to John Abraham and Bipasha Basu.), so does all the God worshipping make him a better human being? Still comparing?

OK let me say this, SRK never entered politics, but he does things to help fellow human beings, he shares his profits with all the members of his production company. He picks up a broom in his hand and actually sweeps the roads of Bombay. Mr. Bachhan on the other hand entered politics, and came back out all mucky. I guess he just forged some political relationships, to help him make more money. Never heard of him doing any public service at all!

While I admire the histrionic abilities of both equally, there I no doubt in my mind about who is a better person and worth idolising.

I pray, yes today I do!

2008-07-29T14:25:00.000-07:00

I am not a very religious person, I rarely sit down or stand up to pray, my belief is, God does not need to be told I love him or believe in him, because he actually knows whats in my heart. But today I pray, I pray because I have questions to which I have no answers, no reasons.

What is wrong with the world? Does humanity, love for our fellow mean not mean anything, anymore? How can people kill in the name of God, when God means love, joy,life and care? I am aghast, shocked, jolted right in my heart, and nothing seems enough. Its easy for me sitting in this far away land and just sympathising with the victims I think.

The killers, monsters in human garb, that's all they are, devil's incarnations.Nothing and I mean NOTHING can justify killing another human being except for self defence in my opinion. And here we have so many people killed, just because of some inhuman cannibal's whim. Who are these terrorists, these killers, these monsters? They are not religious zealots, no that's just a guise, if not religion, they would have killed under the cover of some other excuse. These people are killers, monsters, inhuman zombies.

I am reminded of the July 26th blasts in the Mumbai Locals.It could have never been closer home for me. I was barely three months pregnant and the blasts were happening in trains that DH usually took for his return home. It was just by luck, that for the first time in all his years at work , he had a car from office dropping him home that day. I remember the shudders, the prayers, the fear I had till he actually came home, and then the experiences of my friends and family. I remember calling up almost everyone I knew to enquire. One of my friends was on the verge of tears, because her husband was in one of the bombed compartments, she was on her way to the hospital, and had no idea what to expect.Fortunately he was fine, but went deaf for a couple of weeks due to the impact. My cousin lost her classmate and was inconsolable, he was the youngest victim of the blasts and battled the injuries for almost a month before collapsing, an only child to a rather poor couple. I can tell you about ten other victims that I personally know about, each more heart wrenching than the other, and there are many more. What happened to the families who lost members, did they survive, did the perish, because it was not just the person who dies, but the people related to them too who are victims. What about the ones who were permanently disabled to lead a crippled,dependent life?

And these murderers don't give it even a second thought when they go on to commit mass murders. How, how is that even possible? I would flinch to so much as inflict a deep wound on another human body, and these people kill? What does one need to be able to have that amount of disregard and insensitivity I wonder. J.K.Rowling rightly explains that each time Voldermort kills another person, he splits his soul into two.Indeed, even in this non magical world, a killing would actually rip the killer's soul into pieces. It will. And here are people who kill, kill without thought, heart and by now even soul.

I in my own little way, shed my tears, muffle my cries and offer my prayers and condolences to the people who have lost the people they love in these blasts. But I also pray and pray with all my heart and soul to the God Almighty to show the right path to his wayward children, who don't understand that its sin to kill, its sinful to take away lives, when he cannot create it himself. Oh God, if you are there, and can hear my prayers, please show these people the right path.

This Happens only in India.

2008-07-27T22:50:00.001-07:00

Only in India will we find notorious, criminals being treated a celebrities, not just by hype, but truly so by giving them credit and openly appreciating and lauding them. Wow! Often I feel like banging my own head against the wall, but of late I have been wanting to do that to the people who commit such open acts of shamefulness.

How has Lalu Prasad Yadav become a celebrity? Please someone enlighten me. A man who has done a jail term, sadly holds a position of power in the central government today. Well that's politics and we are a nation famous for being governed by a set of goons. But what is surprising is that the outrage at this gradually has changed to complacency and more recently welcoming acceptance. What is wrong with us, what is wrong with the world?

Television channels want TRPs , but at what cost? The reality shows are bad enough. We have a bunch of rude, ill-mannered, uncouth set of people sitting on the judging seats, who have possibly never been taught manners or etiquettes in their entire life. And now they have criminals as celebrity guests and judges on shows too?

When the Lead India movement by TOI had begun, I was hooked. Read about all the contestants, picked my favourites, voted and all of that, but when the final eliminations started on television, I realised what a big publicity stunt and gimmick it was. I am surprised the contestants did not walk away. Lalu Prasad Yadav judge? You have to be kidding me I thought. But no, there he sat passing judgments about these people, who were supposed to be the true leaders of India. What does this man know of leadership. He is a criminal for God's sake. There is no one who does not know that he is where he is only by playing caste politics and rigging votes. So how can he judge a good leader, a true Indian. How low can the media fall to get money and publicity. Don't make a mockery of everything. Some things are sacred, maintain their sanctity for heaven's sake!

This man single handedly turned Bihar into the criminal hotpot of the country. A place where no laws existed and people could do nothing if crimes were committed against them. Does anyone even consider the angst of such people? The lawless state of Bihar was a direct contribution to Lalu being in power, and he decides who becomes the leader of India? I think we want more lawlessness, more anarchy.Just Bihar was not good enough, so we want it all over India now is it? TOI, shame on you for such a despicable act. If you work for a good cause, please let it not be a sham to collect revenues and gain publicity.

And yesterday I see this same criminal as a celebrity guest on Kya Aap Paanchvi Pass Se tez Hain? I am left speechless. here he openly talks about how his wife Rabri Devi is just a homely house wife, with not a care. Because nobody will dare question him on how then was she a chief minister for such a long duration. I wonder how many people were fooled, by his detailed answers to every question..... is he really that knowledgeable? How is he a celebrity, what was he doing on that show? Why is the media giving him so much of importance? A criminal at that! It was actually funny when the host Sharukh Khan stood their complimenting and praising the goon.

Well, that's the way it is in India. We celebrate our criminals, give them celebrity status and go on to appreciate and applaud them. No wonder our one glorious motherland is now literally going to the dogs or should I say goons here?

The Educated Terrorist

2008-07-25T21:37:00.000-07:00

Another well educated man is under suspicion for the Bangalore blasts according to the news reports. Happened the last time during the Mumbai blasts too, a software professional from Bangalore working for Oracle was found to be part of the terrorist gang. Scary is it not? What effect does academic education really have on a man's mind if inspite of having degrees and certificates, he believes its completely justified to kill a fellow human? The answer makes me shudder right in my soul.

The one thing that binds all human beings together irrespective of caste, creed, colour, sex age is humanity.Its inherent, not an acquired quality, whats acquired is apathy, cruelty and disregard for human life. And its missing in highly educated people. What does that say for us as people?

So here we have well educated young men using their trained brains to plan attacks on fellow humans. Should I be surprised and shocked at this revelation? I should, but I am not, somewhere in the corner of my heart it seems so possible so likely. There are many reasons that I can think of for such acts, none of them act as an excuse good enough to kill another human being, but there are reasons aplenty. But I think the lack of values, goodness, righteousness tops the list. In a dog eat dog world, where is the time to think and do good?

Education in today's times is nothing more than academic ability, it has no connection whatsoever with morals, humanity, values. Schools and colleges could not care less, about the person, as long as the results are good, high scores and all. There is no sense of responsibility in these institutes about imparting good values, learnings, creating good humans to be the future of the nation, the world. Barring a very few, no teacher is interested in the personal development or enhancement of her pupils, all that matters are the score cards. Come parents' teachers' meets and they have piles of things to tell the parents about whats wrong with their child. I wonder what will happen if one of the parents manages to ask them, "And what are you doing about that, being the teacher?" Teaching is not just about reading text books and explaining subjects, but its about imparting the students with values and principles which see them walk through life with their head held high, on the path of honesty and righteousness. But teachers today could not care less. How many of them care to help and rectify a student, beyond giving punishments. Good acts are rarely rewarded, all that matters are the books and extra curricular activities, which no doubt are extremely important, but definitely not more than basic human values. Unfortunately many of these institutions, not only have no inputs in this domain, but instead provide the impressionable minds with the exact opposite morals of save-your-skin-at-all-costs, and kill competition at whatever price you can. so what else can we expect from products of such institutes? Humanity and love for mankind? Far fetched imaginations we have don't we???

Back home parents are no different. Expectations are sky high. Every child is expected to be a class/college/university topper. The emphasis on academic achievements is so high, that all else pales in comparison. Children learn to cheat, lie to parents to escape the pressure. A good humane act is not applauded half as much as a good report card. Children begin to learn that everything is passable as long as there are good grades to show, and where does that lead them once they complete their academic life? What happens if they cannot survive the pressures of the real world out there? They cheat and lie yet again, and again and again, until the frustration within kills them, they look for means for an escape. Its easy to sway such a person, to mislead them, give them a human thing to believe in, an emotionally charged goal rather than marks and promotions to look for. Easy isn't it?

Spotting such terror activists is difficult, if not impossible. Its simple to understand when we see unemployed poorly educated people being employed by terrorist organisations to carry out there evil acts, but a well educated person falling for these things, a very complex proposition. But with the lines of good and bad blurring into oblivion, with high performance pressures to produce results on paper, that humanity and righteousness takes a backseat from day one, is it then a great surprise that without much guilt, the educated man steps into the evil world of terrorism.

Wake up oh society and change before we have more learned terrorists. Realise human values are much more important than score cards and promotions.

A Big Win for India

2008-07-22T06:52:00.000-07:00

This is a really old piece I had written, as the date suggests, but just felt like sharing it with everyone. because for everyday that we see newer lows with politics and politicians in our country, thinking about this day, still gives me hope and joy.

24th Nov 2005

When I picked up the newspaper yesterday morning, a feeling of joy and elation swept over me.
After over a decade, RJD (read Laloo Prasad Yadav) had finally lost an election in Bihar. Oh it was a day to celebrate and rejoice, for the whole of India. The end of a big era of hooliganism and brute force in a democratic country.

Corruption, violence, misuse of power, has never been as blatantly and openly flaunted in this country till Mr.Yadav came to power over 10 years ago. It has been so long now, that the shock, the sense of violation has long gone and been replaced with a sense of humour, the educated and 'elite' class has started treating the entire issue like a joke. Laloo Prasad Yadav and his antics have become a standing joke.

I remember his initial days as CM when he was not Laloo, but Lallu Prasad Yadav. What started off as a funny name in Indian politics ended up becoming one of the biggest and dirtiest politician India has ever seen. From siphoning government funds, to use of brute force to win elections, to being a prisoner, playing caste politics and finally going on to hold a ministry at the centre. This man has definitely been there and done that.

He gave a name of terror to a big and important state of India. A state with rich mineral reserves and many intellectuals (a huge chunk of IAS officers, IIT and IIM alumni belong to Bihar), a state with the potential to be one of the best in the country has been destroyed and ravaged in the most gruesome way by this man. The complete lawlessness and chaos in the state governed by the Yadav family is a shame to the entire country which boasts of a democracy.

When he passed on the reins of the state to his illiterate wife, Rabri Devi, during his jail term ,it seemed like monarchy where the ruler passes on the rule to others in line to the throne. It had come to seem as though there will be no end to this man’s stronghold in Bihar, but now the myth is broken, with this historic loss.

Though Laloo Prasad Yadav may still be a minister at the centre, this is definitely a big blow for him and his party. And it’s a victory for every voting Indian. The damage caused by him may take years to recover, but atleast the seeds of change and growth have been sown. Lets just hope that the entire state can put the past years behind them and work harder than ever before to develop and progress with the rest of the country. Though it is difficult to undo in one go the damages done over several years, atleast a new hope has sprung. Let’s hope the new government can efficiently and ably guide the state to glory and success.

Though the media coverage on the arrest of Abu Salem might be much greater these days, due to the glamour quotient (underworld + bollywood), my celebration is for the fall of despotism in Bihar. The fall of Laloo Prasad Yadav.

I hate Govinda

2008-07-19T01:18:00.000-07:00

Yes, I hate him. Hate is not a word I use with ease, but I am doing it for this man. I was never a big fan of him or his brand of movies, but never cared either ways. But since he became an MP, I being one of his constituent, have nothing but absolute abhorrence for this excuse of a human being.

Had put him on the back burner of my easily agitated mind, but when I read this in the papers a couple of days back, it re ignited in my mind all the loathing I had felt ever since (and a little before) his antics as an MP, started.I don't know why did he ever get into the whole political scenario in the first place?

A little before the elections, Govinda was put up as the Cingress(I) candidate against the BJP candidate, Ram Naik from the North Mumbai constituency. Congress(I) had to do play the big glamour card to take away this constituency from Ram Naik who had been winning hands down for many years from this constituency. So our great Mr Govinda Ahuja, started his play-acting by travelling in the infamous Virar locals for a bit..... but here was the hidden trick, he travelled in the trains going in the opposite direction(Borivali to Virar) to the huge human traffic. I will challenge him to even manage to climb into those trains at any point after Virar in the mornings.(People travel from Virar towards Churchgate in the mornings, towards their offices). I am sure his air conditioned car awaited him at Virar to pick him up to go back home. There was big media coverage about his interaction with the common man on these 2-3 trips in the locals. HYPOCRITE! He promised to ensure better travel conditions for the constituents if he was elected. Well guess what? The common constituent being as gulliable as they are, did elect him, what with him playing the Virar ka Chhora card(Virar Boy, refering to his being a Virar resident before he made it in movies). And whats changed since then? Nothing! The fourth track was introduced thanks to the consistent demands and protests on Human Right's Day(10th Dec) for many years by the people themselves.

This man is so shameless, after being elected, a time when he was at an all time low in his acting career, he arranged his own shows in his constituency , and earned money off his constituents, without even shifting his fat butt, to do anything for them. There were regular weekend Govinda Nights all over the place.

Then came the huge 26th July deluge in Bombay, and this MP was just unreachable, and unavailable. His constituency was nearly completely underwater, and he was nowhere to be seen. People died, lost all their posessions, fell ill, and this wonderful MP did not even come for the cutomary rounds. A full five days later, when the media did mange to unearth his location, he cribbed to them about how he had lost all his own posessions and belongings. Ofcourse Mr.MP what are the poor constituent's lives and homes worth when compared to your great belongings!!

How shameless, self absorbed and uncaring can a man get, and an MP at that? There was the big news of his comeback in the movies, and I the poor hapless constituent travelling like cattle in the trains, bumping on the crater filled roads in a meterless tattered auto rickshaw, wondered when had he ever left. His family accident, and everything else always big news. Did the media even bother to remember that he was also an MP alongside? Did anyone ever ask what was he doing as part of that profile?

And now this piece of news, just goes onto show what a wonderful mockery of democracy people like Govinda make. Does he even know what an MP is expected to do, or what being responsible for a huge constituency means? I wonder how he manages to get a peaceful night's sleep after being guilty of such acts. What made him think he should get into politics. If you cannot do it, then why get in, and take responsibility of so many people. If you cannot do any good for the people, atleast don't harm, by getting in the way of whatever little good was coming their way. Cheap slapstick comedy is all you can enact on the big screen in your atrocious attires, stick to that, so that we poor being atleast have the option of ignoring you, don't come and stick you fat head in our way, making life difficult for us.

Individualism and Love

2008-07-10T15:35:00.001-07:00

Have been reading a lot of women's blogs over the past few days, most of them speak strongly about individuality and identity of a woman. Also it seems its regressive to change after marriage. I wonder why?

My take on all of this is very different. I believe in the individuality, freedom and independence of a woman, but that does not make me not want to align to my spouse. Not changing myself even a little bit after marriage? I wonder how anyone in the world can achieve that?It must be a feat.

I think its difficult, but one needs to maintain a balance between the two extremes..... and when a relationship is fulfilling and positive there are no compromises, but just changes which are mutually enhancing and enriching. How can two people who share the closest relationship in the world not influence and enhance each other? To have a mind set not to accept any changes would be so detrimental to a relationship, just as it would be if one retain nothing of oneself and be completely overwhelmed or dominated by the partner.

Not just a woman, but also a man changes when in a relationship, that is what takes the relationship forward is it not. Its a fact that couples living together for years even start resembling each other in their looks, I know of many such couples in the late forties and fifties who share a close bind and even resemble each other. And I guess this mutual change and influence is a given in any loving and nurturing relationship. But then again a word of caution too much of giving in too may not be very nourishing.

The key is to find the balance( oh God me the Libra!!). My way is to follow the path which comes naturally to me, none that's forced. What my heart accepts with joy and happiness is always the best for me and my loved ones. What we need more here than any other relationship is acceptance and understanding. Sometimes too strong a feeling of individuality may stand in the path of this. When we marry someone, for one most of us are well set in our ways, also in most cases our spouse is not someone we have grown up with, so in all likelihood, they have their own habits, quirks, beliefs and thoughts. To walk into a marriage with a hostile attitude of not giving in can never help.

When entering a relationship, our minds should be open, and our self respect should be held strong in our hearts. Each of us has a scope for improvement, and in the perfect world our other half would perfectly compliment our deficiencies. I was a very impulsive and rash person before marriage, while DH is the exact opposite, rarely have I witnessed him losing his cool. Over the years of being together, I think I have picked up a bit of his cool, and the ability to think before I act. And that has only gone onto make me a better person(version upgrade ;)). Even DH has changed over the years in my company and willingly so. Neither of us had any hesitation in this process, since it was gradual, beneficial and not forced, even by ourselves. So whats wrong in such a change? But changes at the cost of self respect can never be accepted. Because one cannot compromise on values and principles, that would change the person itself. So its upto each individual to know and see, how well you adapt or not to marriage. You have to find the balance which works for your marriage.

I would readily learn to cook the in-law's way, enhancing my skills and learning yummy new dishes :) but would never give into a demand of changing my beliefs!

God and Religion

2008-07-10T15:34:00.000-07:00

Had been thinking of writing about this for a long time, but held back not wanting to hurt anyone's sentiments. But then I decided, its my blog and I have the freedom of expression, so why should I not say what I want to.

Its been a while now that I feel that God and Religion stand on two opposite ends of humanity. While God preaches love and harmony, religion usually does not. I had always thought of religion to be a path to reach God and never thought of different entities, but one entity worshiped differently. Of late though my attitude towards religion has changed completely. It seems more like a way to control and brainwash the followers, than lead them to love and happiness.

How can the main basis of terrorism all over the world, be God's way? Does God want people to be killed ruthlessly, families destroyed and children orphaned? NO!

Religion today is politics, a way of exerting power and control over the followers. And religion I believe is the easiest way to sway the mind's of people. People who cannot think for themselves, can easily be made to do things, which they are led to believe, they are doing for God. I wonder if God does severely punish those who use his name for doing the most heinous deeds.

I believe the people who are religious leaders , priests or preachers should lead their followers on the path of love and forgiveness for the attainment of God. Had read in papers, and seen depictions in movies of how terrorists are bred and provoked in the name of God. But I was shocked to have a personal experience along the same lines.

DH and I were born to families of different faiths. Since we both strongly believe in the unity of the almighty, religion conversion was a thought that had never even occurred to us. Our wedding was a no fuss, legal affair at the Marriage registrar's office, to eliminate any possible confusions. All seemed hunky dory, till BB was born, and then started issues. For any form we had to fill to get documents for BB, religion had to be declared, so what was it to be. I was ok with anything, but DH felt its best that BB has a defined religion as long as he is living in the secular culture of India, where religion needs to be well defined. We agreed to put it in as the same as DH, Christian. But that meant BB had to be baptised, and that was good, because it would give us a ceremony and celebration for BB. Problem arises..... DH is not a church goer, so the local priest gets his meaty chance for revenge now. DH goes in to speak to the priest and when he comes back to tell me what happened, I was ready to beat up the so called priest black and blue. Here is what happened.

After a lot of sermonising on the evils of not being a regular church goer, he pops the question of where were DH and I married. DH said, "The court." And the self proclaimed man of God, one who is supposed to be a step closer to God than you and me said, "Oh! that means you are not married, you both are just living together out of wedlock, this is not a valid matrimony." What followed were his demands that we first marry in the church, preceded by my conversion and baptism and only then would he baptise BB. As you might have guessed, none of that happened and his few minutes of glory were gone. Me being me, threw the choicest abuses at him on first hearing of this nonsense. Would never let him anywhere near BB forget about baptising him!!

But when I think of it now, I just feel sad. Firstly because such kind of things can be freely said in a country that claims to be secular. Imagine standing on the soil of any other country and nullifying a legal marriage certificate. How do we allow such things? If India is a secular country why are there no laws to maintain secularism?

But more importantly what scared me was, this man is someone who sermonises hundreds of people each day, imagine his influence. Many people would take his words as that of God, and with a heart and mind so small what would he preach, what would he propagate into the society? How easy would it be for him to sow the seeds of religious disharmony and differentiation. And he is just one, I wonder how many more like him are there.Religion is the easiest way to influence the weak mind and such religious leaders can lead to devastation in the world. Is it a wonder then, that there is communal disharmony in the country, in the world?

God's way is love and love cannot be differentiated into religion. So I think the best way to follow God's way is to use your own mind and stay away from bogus preachers. If we are humane and practice humanitarian, kind acts that's the path that leads us to the all encompassing almighty. So I am with love and humanity that's my path to God, not religion and rituals.

Feng Shui, logic and a helpful man.

2008-06-28T23:57:00.000-07:00

I have not posted in a while now, pretty late by the standards I had been going. That was because I had set up posting on the blog as one of my 'works' for the day. But I changed that a while back to learn Feng Shui(pronounced as Feng Shway). Not reading a book or anything, just doing a lot of surfing on the net. Have picked up a bit, and its fun. Not so much the dragons, mirrors or other objects that are said to bring luck prosperity and the like when placed correctly, but the general arrangements and directives it gives. Anyone who reads or learns about them will find such good sense in all of that. Simple ideas like remove clutter and keep things clean, even inside your cupboard...... don't you think it feels nice to stay in a home like that. Wish my mother would help me with that bit, she is just soooooooooooo good at it. Never had a thing out of place under her command ever. My bed would be made so nicely... God I miss that. Love you for all that ma.

A few simple rules I would like to share, ones that made a lot of sense to me logically.
1. Try to keep clutter away everywhere.
My Funda: Seeing mess all around at all times, gets to you head and your mind gets cluttered too.

2. Let fresh air into the house by opening doors and windows for atleast twenty minutes each day,esp in the bedroom.
My Funda: You need one for this? Anyways, thats simple, in today's lifestyle of air conditioned homes, there is little flow of fresh air in the house, especially the bedrooms. Need fresh oxygen to come in.

3. Lucky Bamboo plants , well simple they are bamboo plants and supposed to be lucky. There are various meanings and good luck associations based on the number of stalks. You can see here for that. http://www.espritdeisle.com/lucky-bamboo-feng-shui-and-you.htm.
Oh yes! plants are not meant for the bedrooms.
My Funda: Greenery through plants is always refreshing. The purify the air, bring in more oxygen, whats not to be good about that. bamboo is a very sturdy plant and can survive better than most other plants, so obviously easy to maintain.Can be grown in dark places inside the house, really helpful for apartment living. They can be places in a small bowl of water, so easily placed anywhere inside the house. And keep them out of your bedrooms else they will compete with you for oxygen at night.

4.The door to the bathroom should be kept closed.
My Funda: Oh Yes! does not make a pleasant sight.

5. Keep the entrance of the house, neat and beautiful.
My Funda: Definitely would feel more welcoming.

Many more that you can easily find on the net. I have loved reading it up and more so because it has made a lot of sense to me. Moreover I do believe in tech basic concept of Feng Shui which says there is a flow of energy in the universe and we have to find ways to bring it into our life. And many of the advices like having a good flow of air below the bed on which we sleep, with no clutter underneath adheres to this concept. We have to let freshness into our abode in the form of fresh air, plants, flowers so that we can have freshness in other aspects of life like wealth, career, happiness. I cannot imagine a prosperous, happy man staying in a dingy decaying home, nor a man staying in a fresh, well cared for home leading a life of misery. No wonder it is such a popular tool world wide to attract good luck.

But I am surprised to see such a derth of materials on Vaastu Shastra out there. Wonder why?
So if you want a little bit more of luck, wealth, happiness, love any of this, do give Fung Shui a try. It seems to be based on a lot of common sense that sometimes just passes us by.

Picked up plants from a nursery recently, my home looks so much brighter and fresher with the greens now. Not the lucky bamboo, but got real big stalks that I have planted in a pot, looks great. the nursery owner was a Pakistani man named Javed Khan. Gifted me some stem cuttings, and even a Tulsi plant, besides lots of tips on plant care, when he found out I am just starting up with my gardening here. So thanks Mr.Khan, expect another visit from me soon.

Chit Chats, Smiles, Confessions and Coffee.

2008-06-23T23:52:00.000-07:00

Well, yesterday was kind of a day of revelations, introspection, honesty and sharing. Was on one of the million messenger services and caught up with a gal pal who I have not seen in the last five years. We are on each other's lists on social networking sites and all of that, but had been ages since we really talked.... usually a brief hi and hello would just about happen.

She and I were never the best of friends but we shared good camaraderie, occasional spats in place... :) What was always very apparent about S was her forthrightness, honesty, individuality and a lil bit of quirkiness. Never seen her do anything half way.... if she liked someone she made no bones about letting it show. I still remember her ardent admiration for another gal,P in our group and wanting to get her married to her own brother, since she thought P was (and she really is) such a nice gal.

Anyway, S and I are both around the same age, but in very different stages of life personally. I am married, a mother now, and she is still single.......doing extremely well professionally. Completed her MBA from a premier institute in India and is in Europe most of the time these days for her work. The thing is I see many other girls of my age, still single.... Doing well professionally, extremely well mostly and from the looks of it, they seem to be very happy enjoying life and all of that. So yesterday I asked S how life is on the other side of the fence..... and she asked me the same. We shared our views, joys, regrets and honest assesments. It was fun and more importantly very enlightening. I am not going to report the conversation here, but the feeling of such happiness at having a few moments of complete honesty with another human being. It was great S!

And yesterday I tried a monstrosity which is being sold by the name of coffee..... called Ali's Cafe. Its one of those sachets which you pour in hot water and are expected to get a steaming, frothy cup of coffe, well this was nothing like that. It has all kinds of herbs mixed in it, and some non dairy creamer..... God it was terrible.

Happy Birthday

2008-06-19T03:45:00.001-07:00

Happy birthday AD. :)

This year the celebrations are nothing like I would have liked. Don't know the place well enough to be able to buy a nice present, transport a big issue.....cannot drive and public transport is almost non existent here.Promise to make up for it next year.

Wish we could atleast for a movie.Its been a long long long while since I last visited a theatre to catch a movie... and I really miss it. The Dolby sound, the darkness, the super huge screen. Oh all of it. Well no chance for now...... lets hope for something grander next year!!

Feminism , femininity and losing all of it

2008-06-19T00:05:00.000-07:00

Feminism is often interpreted to mean losing everything feminine. I wonder why? I think a feminist can be very feminine, not just in her looks, but also her actions and lifestyle. A feminist is a strong woman who can stand up for what she believes in, and that too with dignity and pride. A feminist is not a woman without kindness, love or affection. A feminist is a true woman, who believes that a woman in her own way is as good as a man and deserves to be treated as such. A feminist is not a woman who believes she is a man, but knows her unique stature, appreciates it well and expects the same from others.

I think the modern, urban world does not really understand the meaning of feminism. Feminism does not mean loosing everything that sets a woman apart from the male, but quite oppositely it means embracing her femininity and respecting herself for it. If a woman cuts her hair short, its her wish and desire, but if a woman looses her sensitivity, the affection which is such a natural part of her, then she cannot be a feminist. A feminist stands up for women's rights, and how can one be a feminist if she is not even a woman.

It is not popular culture in the urban world today, to stay home to care for your home and family. Its seen as regressive, especially for an educated woman. I wonder why? Does the woman have to ape the man to prove herself? Is that proving herself in anyway at all, or does it show her lack of belief in her ownself if she blindly copies something not her own. Women have made a strong mark for themselves in the corporate world, going against all the odds. She can handle with 'elan the boardrooms of the biggest companies just as well as she can look after her household. Its wonderful when a woman knows what she wants and can go achieve her dreams. What worries me is the woman who does not know what she wants.

I have seen many a woman who loves her work and does full justice to it, she works as hard as her male colleagues and demands the same respect as them. And I say go girl go. But it all seems like a facade when I see her as an unkind mother, an uncaring wife, a rude daughter. This is where it all starts seeming fake. Its unfair to expect a woman who works ten hours a day to come home and clean and cook and a feminist is a woman who knows this and gets equal participation from her spouse in home care, or hires help to get the work done. But what about a baby?

If you are a feminist and know that your passion for your work exceeds all others, then its unfair on your part to promise your time and attention to others where you cannot deliver. If you claim to be a feminist then you should remember always that you have to stand up for your dreams and beliefs. If you cannot, then you are not one. Its really disheartening to see women who are biologically mothers, but have not an ounce of motherhood in them. Women give birth to children and then abandon them at the time when they most need a mother, to run to work. A real woman can never be so unkind. A feminist who loves her work will not give in to any pressure to have a baby if she does not want to. So where does that leave this selfish unloving creature.

A woman cannot become a man and vice versa, if you cannot respect your ownself, its highly unlikely that anyone else would. Know yourself and love yourself for what you are, not for something you are not. A man is a father and not a mother, he cannot do what you do. You cannot give birth to a bay and just abandon him or her. The human baby is in the most under developed form at birth compared to all other animals and it needs all the love and care and nurturing to grow up to be a beautiful person. Who can provide this to the baby? Who better than a mother? The average maternity leave in the corporate world is three months, do you know what a baby can do at three months? Most cannot even hold their head up straight. what kind of a mother will leave her own baby in such a state for selfish needs.

If a woman loves her work, she should completely, dedicatedly and passionately immerse herself in it. If she can find a partner who appreciates her passion and can accept her for the same thats great. I admire the woman who knows her wants clearly and goes for it. But to bring an innocent, helpless baby into the world and just leave it to someone else's care that is just inhuman, cruel. If you don't have the time for caring for a baby, nor the inclination, no one in the world can force you to give birth to one, but if you do give birth to one, remember that your work has just started, being a mother does not end at the birthing table, it just begins. And if you donot care for your own child, I wonder what affection and love will you have for anyone else in the world. In this world which is burning in hate, you are just adding fuel to the fire by not filling your child with love and happiness to keep him/her going for the rest of the life.

If you cannot be a mother, don't become one. And if you want to then you have to devote yourself to it. There is no half way out here. So my cheers to the women who are real mothers, for doing more than just giving birth and also to the women who are have their dreams immersed in other things, know it and consciously decide to stay focussed on it, and not propagate the human race for the sake of social approval or self satisfaction at an innocsnt bay's cost. On the other hand, I have nothing but condemnation for the women, who donot realise the worth of a human life,who abandon their own babies to other's care in their selfish pursuits. Such persons are not women and they just hide their monstrous selfishness in the cloak of feminism. But here is the plain truth you have to be a woman to be a feminist and guess what, you are not a woman. A woman is a woman not just because of her physical attributes, but because of the love, affection and care she possesses. And only a true woman can be a feminist.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Feminism
just to know what feminism really is. Its a fight for woman's rights. Not a way to ape men.

Palmolive da Jawaab Nahin

2008-06-18T05:21:00.000-07:00

"Palmolive da Jawaab Nahin"Yes, the first thing that comes to your mind when you hear this is Kapil Dev, and the only reason this ad was so popular is Kapil Dev. The reason... exclusivity.In today's times of too many, there are way too many cricketers , special thanks to the IPLs and ICLs, too much of commercialism, leading to way too many endorsements. There is a blur of advertisements with cricketers and there is hardly any recall. There is no immediate connection to a product that my mind makes if you name any of the modern day cricketers. Is it the problem of too much.There is too much of everything and somehow in this deluge of quantity, we find no quality.

Everywhere there are just too many of everything, airlines, television channels, malls, movies, celebrities, holiday destinations and all else. News is a prime target for commercial exploitation.There are numerous news channels on TV, umpteen newspapers on the stand, but what about the content?Everyone who has some money to spare owns a news channel or a tabloid publication. When Pronnoy Roy presented The World This Week, it used to be a treat every Friday evening, but now there are atleast twenty channels broadcasting news 24X7. So what does it lead to, boring repetitions and poor quality of news? It shocks me no end when I spot spelling mistakes and incorrect grammar on these channels. The same goes for newspapers. No one stands up for quality any longer, there are no reliable brands. Where do I turn if I want pure unadulterated news? Who can promise me news, and just that, no glamorisation, no bias and the best coverage? Cannot think of any Indian channel that does. There is no one worthy that they are competing against, no channel that raises the bar for the others to follow. Each one is happy being as sloppy as they can be, taking it as easy as can be, as long as the ads keep pouring in, so where does that leave the viewer or reader?

Exclusivity is not available, all we get is bulks of whats palatable but not notable.Drawing a parallel to the famous novel The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand, it seems there are just too many Peter Keatings and no Howard Roark in sight.

Here is wishing for more of Palmolive da jawaab nahin!

My learnings from the Indian Soaps.

2008-06-17T14:58:00.000-07:00

This post is not meant to hurt anyone's sentiments, and any resemblance to anyone's blogs is purely coincidental. Just a few things I have learnt from the amazing world of Hindi soap operas.

1.Hugely successful and rich business tycoons are usually at home, taking care of family politics, celebrating festivals like Holi, Diwali or planning and throwing lavish parties. Money keeps pouring in on its own, very little time, if any needs to be spent in office.

2. Cooking for large families is a relatively easy job, no matter how many dishes, or how many people, the cooking is completed at the speed of light, while chatting, gossiping, plotting, scheming, loud thinking and the like taking place concurrently.

3. All cities in India have similar looking roads and environs, especially a high cliff to fall off from is identical.

4. DNA tests are a rather simple procedure which can be done with pretty much anything, dried dirty blood on a piece of cloth and even more miraculously a mother's blood sample can give away the DNA of her unborn child.

5.Doctors generally have very little faith in their abilities and expect friends and family of the patient to pray for their recovery, that is usually the only way out.

6.Patients in hospitals have a minimum of twenty people waiting on them, most of them praying for their recovery, but there are surely a few scheming and plotting for their death.

7.Most business families in India have very traditional roots, live in huge joint families and have some black sheep in the family.

8.Any woman with loud and garish make-up is definitely a conniving, scheming shrew.

10. People can survive umpteen deaths.

11. Divorce is not a necessity for a second marriage, bigamy laws do not seem to matter much in India.

12. Its quite common for one woman to marry the same man many times, or sometimes his brother or friend and vice versa.

13. Women usually retire to bed with a lot of make up, tons of jewelery and heavy sarees, wake up pretty much the same.

14. Aging does not necessarily mean physical changes in a person. A lady can have jet black hair, smooth honey-like skin and an amazing figure at their great grand child's wedding. (Only wish nature were that kind!)

Its fun to learn these lessons, and even if I watch a soap a month from now, I am sure I will be able to catch up without missing a beat. Amazement at the illogical Hindi films is now passe. Soaps are the new world of make-believe.